00:00:03:07 - 00:00:16:23
Chris
Hello and welcome to the ending Buddy Burnout show. We are your host, Chris and Phile, co-founders of a multi winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood and gut issues.
00:00:17:00 - 00:00:24:21
Filly
Well, business, addictive doing, people pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm. It's not normal and it's a major contributor to health issues.
00:00:25:00 - 00:00:38:04
Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplements hoping something might stick.
00:00:38:05 - 00:00:46:07
Filly
So get ready to heal your body. Get your spark back deeply, connect with yourself, and step into the life of your dreams.
00:00:46:10 - 00:00:56:14
Chris
Let's dive in.
00:00:56:16 - 00:01:21:03
Filly
Hello! Welcome to today's episode. We are talking with the wonderful official who is a money mindset coach all about money mindset and the connection to body burnout. So Chris and I asked Alfre onto the show because money and finances are such a huge stressor for many people, and it's affecting our collective health. That might look like you're really struggling to make ends meet.
00:01:21:03 - 00:01:46:21
Filly
I know that there's a lot of people who are struggling with the raising of, rates and prices and all that sort of stuff. You also might be making enough money, and you actually comfortable in terms of your meeting, your needs. However, your relationship with money, can make you feel like you've never got enough, like you have to work harder, you have to earn more.
00:01:46:21 - 00:02:10:19
Filly
You need to do more in order to feel like you're a good and worthwhile human being. It was the number one stress for my own self, which directly impacted my health, especially during Covid times. It really came to the surface that, oh my gosh, my relationship with money is literally causing histamine intolerance, insomnia, anxiety and all sorts of other stuff.
00:02:10:19 - 00:02:42:16
Filly
I've shared that story. I can't remember what the episode number is, but it was all about money, trauma, and my own story and how clearing that and unravelling my beliefs in my relationship around money allowed me to, like, not just heal my finances and my business and but also literally heal my body. So we're going to talk all about this with Alpha today, and how you can unravel your beliefs and your relationships so that you can support recovery from body burnout.
00:02:42:18 - 00:03:13:09
Filly
Something that Alpha does talk about is retraining or rewiring the brain around your money mindset. And that brings me to, I'm going to read Alpha's official bio in a second, and then we'll jump into the episode. But around rewiring, I just want to make an announcement that next month we are holding a live free training week or coaching week all about rewire your brain to heal from body burnout.
00:03:13:09 - 00:03:37:08
Filly
Now, we actually did a poll on in our Facebook group and Instagram Stories, and I listed about eight different topics that we could do a free coaching week on, and this one was by far the most popular. So we are putting that one on in September. I'm going to put in the show notes links. The link that you can register to this is free and it's going to be gold.
00:03:37:11 - 00:04:05:06
Filly
Chris and I are not into just giving you more information that you can share. We love to get deep down and trance somebody transformative not just with our clients, but when we hold something for free to give you a great experience in terms of how it feels to work with us at a deeper root root cause level, and also to give you some wins right away.
00:04:05:08 - 00:04:34:04
Filly
So this so we're going to go over three different topics during this coaching week. So day one we're going to look at brain brain inflammation and how it is hot to rewire and inflamed brain and what to do about it. Day two we're going to dive into your patterns and how to rewire the brain annual patterns. So it so just doing brain rewiring array training exercises and practices doesn't end up just being a Band-Aid approach.
00:04:34:06 - 00:05:03:09
Filly
And day three is all about rewiring your pain signals. So how you can create new neural pathways of safety which will essentially switch off symptoms. So super excited to to share this live coaching week with you and hope you can join us! Jump into the Shownotes to register now! Before we jump into today's episode, I want to officially introduce Alpha by reading her by her, and then we'll jump into our conversation today.
00:05:03:11 - 00:05:25:22
Filly
So Alpha started off as a corporate tax accountant, but decided she preferred working with clients on more than just tax. So she moved into management consulting for over a decade. During this time, she was on her own personal development journey and studied different modalities. Plus, she studied financial planning when she realised she knew very little about personal finances.
00:05:26:03 - 00:05:48:20
Filly
Even as a tax accountant wanting to help women with their financial literacy, she found herself working with business owners on both their money mindset and their financial literacy. Seeing women grow in financial confidence and take control of their mindset is what she loves most. So let's jump into today's episode.
00:05:48:22 - 00:06:09:14
Chris
Welcome everybody to the ending body burn out. So we're super excited to have Alpha Schultz here on the line today to have a chat about money and and mindset and all that sort of really cool stuff that we find really interesting. You no doubt you will too. So thank you so much everybody for joining us.
00:06:09:18 - 00:06:32:21
Filly
Yeah. Awesome. I'm so excited. I actually had a conversation with Alpha a couple of days ago for her podcast. So it's awesome to spin the the table. So we love to just get personal with our guests, first of all, so that people can kind of like, relate to what you're about to talk about too. So we are going to talk about more money, mindset, self-awareness.
00:06:32:21 - 00:07:03:00
Filly
It plays such a huge role in people's burnout stories and body burnout. And for me personally, had a major like it was the major stress for me that led to a lot of my health issues. So I'm really excited to dig into that side of things that. When can you share with, our audience any, I guess, body burnout experience it that you've had in the past and how that sort of links up with what you do now as a money mindset coach.
00:07:03:02 - 00:07:21:17
Alpha
Yes, I think I've had when you when you told me that you were going to ask this question, I thought, oh yeah, because I, I tend to block some of that stuff out, to be honest, because I'm like, I just need to yeah, I've, I've done, done the work. But yeah, there's been a few dips in my life and probably the first one was more of a health physical one.
00:07:21:17 - 00:07:42:10
Alpha
When I was a teenager, when I realised I couldn't digest meat well, and I was feeling very unwell. I never had energy, I always had headaches. I was anaemic, I couldn't lose weight. It was just. It was one of those things where, looking back on it now, I realised it was my diet. But at the time, you know that I'm in my mid 40s.
00:07:42:10 - 00:07:58:12
Alpha
So when I was a teenager, people weren't really thinking about food as nutrition and healing your body. Yet it wasn't kind of part of the thing. So when I, my father had gone away for a few weeks and I hadn't eaten mate for a few weeks, and I realised I had no headaches and I was feeling a lot more energetic, and I thought, oh, wow.
00:07:58:12 - 00:08:17:06
Alpha
And vegetarianism was not really a thing either. Then. And my family, southern Eastern European, they eat a lot like their famous dishes are all mate related. You know, my mother is Austrian, so it's all about schnitzel. My father's Macedonian, so there's so much meat in that diet. So I was like, this weird person, but I'm like, you know what?
00:08:17:07 - 00:08:44:23
Alpha
I'm never going back. I feel fantastic, I'm never going back. And I realised Dan and I haven't eaten red meat since. I didn't quite make for a little bit. But then I realised that didn't work either. So that was really the first time I realised the body part. But then as I got older, all the stresses kind of come in and I suppose career choices, because you do the thing that you're supposed to do and then you work really hard at something that's just not you and your body is rejecting the world, but you think you're doing the thing that you need to do.
00:08:45:01 - 00:09:13:05
Alpha
And this just this conflict that just creates complete shutdown in some areas. So I experienced that in my mid 20s, changed careers, and then I probably experienced it most dramatically again after I had my daughter. I did not handle the newborn phase well at all. I lost like everybody talks about trying to lose the baby weight. Well, I lost the baby weight and another like five kilos within six weeks, so I just, I don't eat when I'm stressed and I just.
00:09:13:05 - 00:09:36:14
Alpha
Yeah. And that impacted so many other things like feeding and you name it. So and then I was sort of like, I've really got to get myself back together again. And because I'd, I'd started the money journey and I'd been on a personal development journey, I had some tools and I had some practitioners that I trusted because, you know, listening to your story about GP's, I never had very good experiences with them either.
00:09:36:17 - 00:10:05:10
Alpha
So they're pretty much the last resort for me if something's going on in my world, physically. So I then started to to do a bit more research on the money and the mindset side, and I thought, oh my gosh, this is so linked. So it's all very intertwined. But they're they're probably the major dips in my world that have then sort of led me to do what I do, because I see money as a huge stressor both mentally and physically, people working themselves to the bone to try and make enough money because I never feel like I have enough.
00:10:05:10 - 00:10:09:22
Alpha
And there's so much underlying that. So that, yeah, that drives a lot of the work I do now.
00:10:10:03 - 00:10:25:09
Filly
Yeah. So with, the burnout that trying to push and trying to do the things you think you should be doing, like what for you did you discover over time was the deepest root cause that was driving all of that?
00:10:25:11 - 00:10:48:21
Alpha
I think it was a underlying fear of not being accepted. And on the one hand, I'm Aquarius. So I do like to kind of do my own thing. but I do it quietly. And if anybody else was noticing what I was doing, I was like, oh, that. That's what if they, like, judge me for that. And I realised it was self-judgment because everybody else is going around doing their own thing, worried about themselves.
00:10:49:02 - 00:11:06:03
Alpha
And I realised that it was a lot of me just judging me and going. And then after I had my daughter, I think I kind of had this realisation that, you know what? I don't know what I'm s am I doing? I now have this I'm a role model now to this little person, the little girl. And I don't want her to have all these hang ups.
00:11:06:05 - 00:11:19:23
Alpha
Like I didn't smile properly as a teenager because I thought I had chubby cheeks, because I used to get my cheeks pinched a lot. It's a very, again, cultural thing, but I there was there is no photo of me between the ages of like 15 and 17 where I'm smiling properly. Wow.
00:11:20:01 - 00:11:20:10
Chris
00:11:20:16 - 00:11:52:04
Alpha
So it was, there was a lot of body issues and that there. So there's all this stuff and I got to one point where I just got so fed up about worrying about so many stupid, insignificant things. and I also did a trip with the The Hunger Project and business trips over to Uganda back in about 11 years ago now, and being there watching what they had to go through, I was like, I don't know why I'm so worried about whether or not I have cheeks when I smile or whether I have hips and I'm a pear shaped like what what what it if I have enough food to eat, I, I don't need
00:11:52:04 - 00:12:10:10
Alpha
to worry about so many things. So it was a bit of a reality check, a couple of those bits and pieces. But yes, becoming a mum probably really hammered it together because I thought I do not want my daughter to grow up with any of those issues. And the first time my dad said anything slightly like what he said to me, I was like, you'll be out of my life and you'll never see your grandchild again.
00:12:10:12 - 00:12:13:07
Alpha
Ever say anything like that to her mum?
00:12:13:09 - 00:12:16:08
Filly
Let's create some healthy beliefs in this child.
00:12:16:10 - 00:12:21:13
Alpha
Yes, I'm sure I will screw her up in other ways, but that one's not going to be it. I won't repeat that one.
00:12:21:19 - 00:12:36:08
Filly
Yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry. Ex accountant moved into more of the money mindset side of things. What for? You like why? Why did you start choosing that?
00:12:36:09 - 00:12:54:08
Alpha
Yes. Well, I fell into accounting. that was that, you know. Right. You finish high school and you feel like you've got to pick something for the rest of your life. And I had no idea what I wanted to do. I love travelling, so I initially picked international business because I was like, oh, well, you know, I can travel the world and do business.
00:12:54:08 - 00:13:15:13
Alpha
Not that I had any idea what that meant, back then and, and I didn't, I just, I couldn't find a job after I finished my degree, and I sort of ended up being offered a, like, a vacation job in, in one of the big accounting firms. And of course, I've got my grandmother in my ear going, she said it in German, but in English, it's like you need a decent job.
00:13:15:13 - 00:13:47:05
Alpha
Like, that's a good job for you. So I had to go back to uni and study accounting, and I was good at the numbers, and I liked dealing with clients, but I did not like all of the the legality around tax and just the compliance. It was boring, but I enjoyed the problem solving part of it. So that's I stayed in that sphere for about six years, and that's probably from a if a mental space was probably one of my dips in my life because I just was not aligned with who I was and what I wanted to do at all.
00:13:47:07 - 00:13:53:09
Alpha
But I was ticking the box for my, grandmother in particular.
00:13:53:11 - 00:14:18:19
Filly
okay. So money, I mean, we see, is a huge issue when it comes to, health issues. And it also often also is connected with patterns of busyness as well. Busyness, perfectionism, people pleasing. are you ever working? Do you see that in your clients, in your space of the world as well?
00:14:18:21 - 00:14:38:03
Alpha
Yes, yeah, I see I see a lot of fear around money. And to be honest, a lot of it is driven by our society and the messaging that comes to us as well. so there's like, for instance, the fear that I had in my, my family, you know, that my, my grandmother came from like, war torn Europe and had experienced the depression.
00:14:38:03 - 00:14:55:18
Alpha
And she actually grew up during that period. And, and all of this, she ordered so many things. She kept bottles of water under her garage for years and years. And I see a lot of the generational stuff coming through in my clients now. The, the, the fears that their parents have had, their grandparents have had sitting on them.
00:14:55:18 - 00:15:27:10
Alpha
And then also there's there is a certain gender fear that for women in particular, because up until not that long ago, women couldn't work, they couldn't do anything without a husband's approval. And there's still countries in the world that have that issue as well. but as women business owners that I work with, primarily, they have this belief that, you know, oh, I can't reach a certain level or I don't want to, you know, earn more than my husband if they're married or quite often, I end up with clients who are in a transition period from a relationship standpoint and they're like, oh, can I actually even support myself?
00:15:27:11 - 00:15:47:10
Alpha
I will, you know, I'm fearful that if anything goes wrong, I can't support my family or myself or my kids. and then I'm just have to rely on a partner again. so there's there is a lot of fear around it. And that drives some very sort of small thinking. So that's the irony of it. The smaller we think, the smaller we live.
00:15:47:10 - 00:16:02:18
Alpha
And there is a certain amount of risk taking in life, especially when you're in a business. But you've got to it's got to be calculated. Still, that's not to say you just go jump off a building and you're like, oh, whoops, I forgot the parachute. But you still can. You can, you know, there's ways and there's ways to do things.
00:16:03:00 - 00:16:25:14
Alpha
Yeah. But yes. But I see that driving a lot of behaviour and the overwork people with multiple jobs, business owners with other jobs and it just it drives their health downwards. And that then also impacts their ability to do their work, because if their business or their work requires them to physically do it and you can't kind of work from home if you're a bit sick, then they don't end up owning either.
00:16:25:14 - 00:16:27:11
Alpha
So it just perpetuates the cycle.
00:16:27:13 - 00:16:28:02
Chris
00:16:29:04 - 00:16:36:04
Filly
I see oh it is it Maslow's hierarchy of needs. have you had it yet. So right down the bottom is.
00:16:36:06 - 00:16:37:10
Chris
Like physiological.
00:16:37:11 - 00:16:37:23
Alpha
Survival.
00:16:38:00 - 00:17:02:05
Filly
Yeah. Survival. Bit like I for some people the thought of not having any money at all I feel like fits down there as well. It's like when I don't have money then I can't feed myself or my children. I don't have a warm house over my head. So from a nervous system evolutionary point of view as well, money is like kind of like primal in a way, too.
00:17:02:06 - 00:17:10:20
Filly
In terms of it, people have connected that to their primal needs, and it kind of is the case, too. In the modern world.
00:17:10:22 - 00:17:28:23
Alpha
Yes. That's right. Can I feed myself? Can I how can I close all of those things? And as a parent, it amplifies because you want to be able to make sure that you can provide for your kids, too. Yeah. and then changing that becomes difficult because our primal instinct is linked to our current reality, because our current reality that we were talking about the other day keeps us alive.
00:17:29:01 - 00:17:44:11
Alpha
We don't thrive, but we're alive. So, like but if we want to change anything, then our bodies are just going to suddenly like, shun it and go, well, hang on a minute. You want to change the the the recipe? The recipe has been working, but you want to change it. New. So then sometimes throws barriers in your way.
00:17:44:11 - 00:18:04:01
Alpha
Like I end up. Yeah, I injuring myself this week and I feel like there was, something there's some mental stuff behind that which I will work on that. You know, we, we often have obstacles that will come in our way because we want to grow and we want to thrive. But our primal physiology is rejecting the idea of it, because what if it hurts us?
00:18:04:01 - 00:18:14:01
Alpha
Or what if it kills us? Yeah. So it makes it really hard to then the perception also to make the changes, but then to actually do them in the right way. But what is the right way.
00:18:14:03 - 00:18:28:00
Filly
Yeah, yeah. UN resourceful money mindsets. what what are some patterns that you see around that, that are also connected to things like burnout, chronic health issues.
00:18:28:01 - 00:18:29:14
Chris
Yeah.
00:18:29:16 - 00:18:50:20
Alpha
I see a lot of people like leaning on poor nutrition, either because they can't afford so better food, or they just, you know, they just want the quick fix and, you know, it satiates the hunger temporarily. So I do see some clients with some pretty poor eating habits now that I get into that side of it.
00:18:50:20 - 00:19:05:20
Alpha
But I usually will refer them and say, I think you might need to, you know, work on some of that. Because if we if we made up, you know, you know, like for lunch or whatever, and I'm like, okay, there's, there's, you know, so much healthy eat, so unhealthy eating habits comes into it as well. But that also.
00:19:05:20 - 00:19:27:20
Filly
That can I just add a little story? Yeah. that when Chris and I first got married, I mean, I'd already been running years of, like, Scrooge. Very money scarcity. patterns. And we got married living together. like, literally, I would make Chris white sandwiches with Vegemite and one piece of lettuce.
00:19:27:22 - 00:19:28:01
Chris
To.
00:19:28:01 - 00:19:31:20
Filly
Take to lunch to prevent him from spending money on.
00:19:31:20 - 00:19:33:22
Alpha
Takeaway.
00:19:34:00 - 00:19:39:22
Filly
And like a big bag of, home brand chocolate chip cookies. You know, like a dollar.
00:19:40:00 - 00:19:41:14
Chris
That's so funny.
00:19:41:16 - 00:19:54:18
Filly
So bit. Yeah. So obviously that, you know, that was affecting our health. It but it's sorry there's so much fee around it. Like in terms of the way that people spend money on food.
00:19:54:20 - 00:20:10:06
Alpha
Yes. Yeah. And and even to a certain extent, like I had to work on when I started my business, I was like, I want the free version of everything. I'll have the free version of zoom, Canva, you know, you name it. And then I got to a point. I was like, this is actually constraining my ability to run the business.
00:20:10:08 - 00:20:23:18
Alpha
So then I was like, this is, this is not. Yeah. So I had some of even my own and they constantly come up. It's not to say that we deal with our money stuff and that's it. Done like the the life. We're always growing and evolving. So we'll, we'll hit some sort of a ceiling and some patterns will come up.
00:20:23:18 - 00:20:41:10
Alpha
You like, oh okay. But once you're aware of them and you've dealt with them before, you can start to recognise them a bit easier and you get through them faster. but that's not to say that they're not there. Yeah. So yeah. So I being like, not spending is something I see quite a lot. But then I also see the flip side that's.
00:20:41:10 - 00:20:41:21
Chris
Yeah, that's.
00:20:41:21 - 00:20:42:11
Alpha
Made a bit.
00:20:42:11 - 00:20:49:00
Chris
Too much where opposite what I see need. But by the thing do the thing.
00:20:49:00 - 00:20:55:14
Filly
I don't think that's so much the case now. But definitely when we first got together, you were like, spend money, do do do it. I'm like, save.
00:20:55:14 - 00:20:58:12
Chris
It, save it, David.
00:20:58:14 - 00:21:18:01
Alpha
Whereas it's very common in a in a couple to have, I quite often will have clients where one is this and I'm going to use labels here. But the spender and the other one is the saver. Yeah. that's an extreme. But yeah, if you do tend to be more underlying tendencies in that regard, and it does often go back to what we've experienced growing up.
00:21:18:03 - 00:21:33:07
Alpha
You know, if you got you're praised for saving or you got, you know, punished for spending or you, you weren't even taught how to do either. And you just kind of ended up in this world. I don't know what to do. So you just do a little bit of both. and we've all found ourselves in that position as well.
00:21:33:07 - 00:21:50:19
Alpha
But. Yeah. So there's the spending and then there's the fear around investing and the the excuse I hear a lot is I don't know how to do it. I don't want to make a mistake. It's like, well, yeah, to a certain extent you cannot avoid making. And I use the word mistake loosely because I feel like a lot of it is learning.
00:21:51:00 - 00:22:12:11
Alpha
And if we just reframed a lot of our failures as learning rather than intrinsically feeling like we're a failure because we didn't do something or we didn't get the result that we anticipated, rather than looking at it going, okay, this is a piece of information and I realise this is hard to do, but this is a piece of information I now need to work with rather than just going, okay, that didn't work.
00:22:12:11 - 00:22:31:15
Alpha
Yeah. And and to a certain extent, you've got to take the emotion out of it and the judgement with it. And that part is difficult to do on your own, which is why sometimes it's easier to have somebody help you with this. because it's, you know, you've got to you've got to have that introspection. And with introspection comes a heck of a lot of responsibility.
00:22:31:16 - 00:23:06:07
Alpha
so but it's it's worth the work because once you start on the path, it just makes everything else more I should. I'm not going to say easier because it doesn't necessarily become easier, but it becomes clearer and your path starts to become a little bit easier to follow when you can feel and you know, you, you listen to the signs, but with money, that is difficult because we've got people around us who've known us since we were kids, parents, for example, who, you know, they mean well, but they're going to constantly remind you of the person that you were, and then you'll have friends.
00:23:06:07 - 00:23:25:20
Alpha
And I've I've lost friends over the way. And it doesn't feel nice when you think back on it. But I was like, we just weren't going to be heading in the same direction. Their mindset was a lot more, and that's that whole fixed and growth mindset. I think there's a continuum in there, but you know, there's that whole they they were staying there and they were happy to stay there and I wasn't.
00:23:26:01 - 00:23:50:08
Alpha
And I wanted to move. And that's that's where recognising the different phases of life that we're in, we need to have the right people around us. and the ones that we can't avoid, like family, potentially, we can minimise perhaps the amount of interaction we have and perhaps the types of things that we tell them. If we know that we say we're going to do something and they're going to nitpick, then just don't say anything.
00:23:50:10 - 00:24:02:20
Alpha
And it's sort of things like that way you, you know, you selectively inform, how things are going to work. And if you're not sure about something, find the right person to brainstorm at or to to guide you as well.
00:24:02:22 - 00:24:03:17
Chris
00:24:03:19 - 00:24:24:14
Filly
It's interesting when you're talking about, investment. So like unhealthy or on resourceful money mindsets and people are scared of investing because they don't know if they're doing the right thing. Fear of failure. I would say that to in people who aren't investing in their health as well, like a lot of people will say, oh no, I can't afford that.
00:24:24:15 - 00:24:48:01
Filly
because I don't have enough money. But usually, almost always, there's a deeper reason that that I don't actually think I can invest in this, because I don't know if I can do it like it's that self-doubt that they will be able to actually do it, and it's showing you the pain. Yeah. Money scarcity. Well, they're almost using money as the excuse.
00:24:48:03 - 00:25:14:13
Alpha
Yes. Yeah. Well, they don't want to experience a certain level of discomfort or feel denied. It's a little bit why people who fall off the wagon with diets because they're like, oh, I feel like I'm denying myself. Well, and it's the same thing with not money. Like I'm always advocating for a fun fund. If you deny yourself too much when you do bust out of that, you will bust out of it in a major way that you will then regret, and then you'll feel guilt, and then the cycle will start to repeat itself.
00:25:14:15 - 00:25:32:03
Alpha
So being able to have fun and enjoy the things you want to do. If you want to travel somewhere or you want to go to a concert or you like what? Whatever your thing is that lights you up and that's why you do it. That's why whenever I hear the stories of like, oh, you know, cut out your daily coffee, but what if that's the thing that really gets you out of bed in the morning?
00:25:32:05 - 00:25:50:16
Alpha
Then you've got to figure out a way to afford the coffee. You're there might be something else that you can do with that, but the coffee is the key, you know? So you gotta figure out what that is for you. It's not just about denial. but I think the the perception or the anticipation, like, I, I think my, my husband has some dairy issues, but he does want to find out because I know it.
00:25:50:16 - 00:26:11:16
Alpha
Well. He's like he's the first thing he does in the morning is have his cappuccino. and that would have to change. I was like, well, I have almond milk. No, that's not real milk. It's like, okay, so that's yes, that's the thing that we mentally perceive that we cannot overcome. So we don't even want to go down the path of understanding or figuring out what it is.
00:26:11:18 - 00:26:13:11
Chris
Yeah, yeah.
00:26:13:13 - 00:26:40:22
Filly
So, as I mentioned before, I had a lot of scarcity money mindset issues that as I worked on on my own money issues, which was really in correlation in line with relationship issues, health issues, everything stems from the same thing. Yeah. What do you say? So what I discovered was that money actually, I wasn't scared of money and money wasn't the issue, but that was the trigger.
00:26:40:23 - 00:26:53:04
Filly
is that the type of thing that you say to when you're working with clients? You kind of going beyond, just like the money being the trigger? And actually, what's the root cause behind that mindset or belief that you have in the first place?
00:26:53:06 - 00:27:12:14
Alpha
Yes, absolutely. Money is just it's the thing that we measure by, you know, how much I've got in a bank account or how many, you know, the amount of times I hit this rags to riches stories where somebody is like, oh, I have like 50 properties. That's like, okay. Yeah. If you. But then I'll talk to people who have properties and like, oh, it's such a pain.
00:27:12:14 - 00:27:31:19
Alpha
You know, they take so much work and there's always problems, you know, that, you know, some tenant will have done something or, you know, and I'm listening to all this and to be honest, for me personally, I was like, you know what? I prefer to just invest in a property trust rather than actually own multiple physical properties. But we we don't necessarily think about what it is that we really want.
00:27:31:19 - 00:27:47:04
Alpha
So there's a lack of clarity and a lack of understanding of what we want. And we think money is the thing that we're seeking, you know, like, well, what kind of life do we want? What level of health do we want? What kind of relationships do we want? Or all of that is really at the root cause of it.
00:27:47:09 - 00:28:02:07
Alpha
And to most of the time, money is just the facilitator to make the level of the thing that you want happen, happen. You know, do you want the Toyota or do you want the majority? You know, they're both cars, so and they're both going to get you to the same place in the same time in the same way.
00:28:02:07 - 00:28:23:21
Alpha
Well, the Maserati might get you there a little faster, but then you probably get the same findings. Well, you know, I mean, like, it's the same thing. Yeah, yeah. So, and I have a Toyota, by the way. I was I used to get teased by my friends because I had the same car for 20 years, and, I only got rid of it about two years ago when it started to cost a lot more to fix than it was worth.
00:28:23:23 - 00:28:24:09
Alpha
00:28:24:11 - 00:28:24:19
Filly
Yeah.
00:28:24:23 - 00:28:38:20
Alpha
So I had to let it go. Yeah, but, but to me, it was literally just it's a, I mean, yes, I do like nice cars. And, you know, I travel places and I get high cars, which were a lot more fancy than what I had, which was nice. but it was really just it mechanism.
00:28:38:22 - 00:28:39:09
Filly
So the.
00:28:39:09 - 00:28:56:10
Alpha
Money. Yeah, we assign the value to the thing we use to facilitate the end result. rather than focusing on the end result. And you can either start with the end in mind and work back. We'll figure out what it is that you want right now and then start to work towards something and then clarify that along the path.
00:28:56:12 - 00:29:16:02
Alpha
But then when you figure that out, the money just becomes full, because quite often people are fearful about money and how much they hate that world. You know how much you need. Like, what do you mean? Well, how much does your lifestyle, what sort of lifestyle do you want? How much money does it need? And then like, I don't know, it's it's.
00:29:16:03 - 00:29:31:14
Alpha
So you scared about something that you don't actually know how much you need. And so there's all of this built around the money side, like, well, you don't even know. You know, you might need 500,000 in retirement. And you or you might need 2 million, depending on what you want. What do you have now? Like let's let's start to look at it and break it down.
00:29:31:16 - 00:29:48:17
Alpha
So yeah. So the the underlying issue is almost never the money itself. There's something else there. And there's often whether it's trauma or experience or stories or habits that are around that are supporting that current so set of circumstances. But the money itself is very much secondary.
00:29:48:18 - 00:29:50:03
Chris
00:29:50:05 - 00:30:16:04
Filly
Yeah. So interesting. I feel like I'm just reflecting as you were talking about that I had, we built a house and it was lovely and it is the house we live in. But I remember it was kind of like lack of clarity of what, what it even would mean. so when we got the house, all of a sudden, I'm like, I don't really want, like, my sisters to come visit because their houses are more fancy.
00:30:16:06 - 00:30:53:21
Filly
And so, so money for me was actually more around attaching my wealth onto what I had. And because I didn't even think that I was much any good, which. And this was all hidden to like from consciously, I'm like, yeah, I'm pretty awesome. But like underneath the surface, there was a lot of insecurities. And so therefore it will, you know, even if I had $5 million or a $5 million house, it still wouldn't have ever felt like it was enough, because I was attaching, trying to attach my worth onto the thing when it has to come from within.
00:30:53:21 - 00:30:55:08
Filly
First.
00:30:55:10 - 00:31:18:20
Alpha
Yeah, yeah, I remember my, my dad, he came from absolutely nothing like he's he's the youngest of five. He grew up in a one bedroom apartment in, Skopje in Macedonia and literally came to Australia with nothing. Built himself up quite well. He had his own business and he bought it for him. What was the like, the big house, the show house.
00:31:18:22 - 00:31:37:19
Alpha
After two years. He hated it. He's like, it's too big. it's just I, you know, it doesn't feel like a home. I don't know what I've got all this. People don't even come visit as often as I thought they would like. He just he absolutely hated it. And I remember thinking, oh my goodness, this is such. I mean, he didn't he didn't take the revelation quite the same way I did.
00:31:37:21 - 00:31:57:09
Alpha
But she said, wow, this is really interesting. You'd spent your entire life trying to prove to others that you were not that, you know, poor little boy anymore, and it still didn't make you happy because it was external. And that's the other thing too. What actually makes us happy? We don't even need money to fulfil it. Money? Does.
00:31:57:09 - 00:32:14:21
Alpha
Leo sweeten the pot and it does make like give you more choices. but ultimately, if we're not happy on the inside, then money's just going to make the problem either big and or small, like the, you know, it's just the thing on the outside that facilitates what we see, not necessarily what's in here.
00:32:15:01 - 00:32:23:21
Filly
Yeah. Well it's going to it'll cause more all the same issues because your belief system is choosing to believe that.
00:32:23:23 - 00:32:28:02
Alpha
Yes. Yeah. You are still you regardless of whether or not you have money or you don't have money.
00:32:28:04 - 00:32:47:16
Filly
Yeah. You know, practice. We, love looking at the mind body connection, the brain neural pathways, how that impacts body systems and chronic health issues and people's ability to heal. you also look at the connection between brain and money mindset. Can you talking to that?
00:32:47:18 - 00:33:09:12
Alpha
Yes. So a lot of this comes down to habits the way and the work, the way I do the work. And it's the it's a it's those pathways that we repeat. It's the highways and the trenches that we dig. and how we, you know, the beliefs themselves will create that as well. And then that will impact impacts their the experiences we have and then the habits we have.
00:33:09:12 - 00:33:28:06
Alpha
And then I call it the formation cycle and or loops back to each other. And they all it becomes bit like what we call a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like, I believe this, then I have this experience and then my behaviours repeat, repeat. And then I get the same belief experience and it's all just linked together. And we kind of have to figure out a way to interrupt that.
00:33:28:08 - 00:33:48:02
Alpha
And quite often things like trauma will interrupt it, you know, or having having a child, which was probably one of the main interruptions for me. something else. It's usually, unfortunately, something negative and dramatic that will happen to interrupt that pattern. It's not like anybody's going to win the lottery and suddenly go, oh, I have different beliefs about money.
00:33:48:04 - 00:34:12:11
Alpha
Otherwise we wouldn't have so many bankrupt, lottery winners. So it's it's really, you know, understanding how our brains, like I said, work in terms of what we see as our level of survival and what we can do in order to keep going in the life that we currently have. and if we want to make any changes, then there's a certain level of, oh, dear, danger, danger.
00:34:12:11 - 00:34:30:14
Alpha
What are we going to actually do to make the changes and figuring out clarity of what we want and why, and sort of training our brains to accept incremental changes so that when we start to make them, it doesn't throw too many obstacles in our way. And we don't self-sabotage as well, because we need to stay back on the path that we are on.
00:34:30:16 - 00:34:47:04
Alpha
it's a little bit like I don't you seen that movie The Adjustment Bureau? Yeah. we watching that the other night, and I was just like, oh, my God, this is so much of what I, I have this little books with everybody's path or the plan on it. And I was going, yeah, this is where I'm like, I would be in helping people interrupt that plan.
00:34:47:04 - 00:35:07:14
Alpha
You know, we'd be, you know, doing the hats and running through the doors and trying to outrun the plan. but it's that's that's how difficult it can sometimes feel. And that's why there's so much avoidance around dealing with money, because we metaphorically have this plan that we think is the one we've chosen, even though it often isn't really our choice.
00:35:07:16 - 00:35:23:09
Alpha
It's usually a conglomeration of all sorts of other things that have happened in our lives, things that we've been told, things that we believe, things that we've seen, things that we've experienced, and our brains take all that and then mash it together and think that this is this is us, this is who I am. And I can't change that.
00:35:23:09 - 00:35:44:08
Alpha
I'm like, well, no, no, you can. It does take a bit of work though, to start to rewire it and to change what the, you know, just the plan. So that's that's where the work starts and that's, that's internal external, that's you can't I can't this is my magic pill really for that. And I've seen lots of modalities and tools help.
00:35:44:10 - 00:36:01:06
Alpha
but ultimately you have to want to make those sorts of changes. You have to want to break the patterns. And it takes a conscious effort for a, for a while until it starts to become more innate. it's that whole concept of habits and, and you know, how long it has to happen before a habit built in.
00:36:01:06 - 00:36:05:05
Alpha
And even then, sometimes you still have to consciously do it too.
00:36:05:07 - 00:36:05:16
Chris
00:36:05:16 - 00:36:06:14
Alpha
Does that answer your question.
00:36:06:20 - 00:36:13:23
Filly
Yeah. It does. And then I guess like the follow up question. So if someone really wants to do it how do you start rewiring.
00:36:14:01 - 00:36:29:20
Alpha
You've got to start with awareness. First you got to actually identify what those neural pathways are and what the beliefs are. And you kind of and by that you sort of break down the things that you've done in your life and you kind of go, okay, so when was the, you know, when you were in your teenage years, what did you experience?
00:36:29:20 - 00:36:59:22
Alpha
So usually, you know, we can blame my parents for a heck of a lot of stuff. And to a certain extent that's real. But we have to be aware of what did what were there many stories? What did we see? What did we hear? And we kind of move forward from there. And already, to be honest, most of my clients have their biggest revelations from the ages of about 10 or 11 to the age of about 18, and that period of time in our lives is so formative for material formation making that we will have relationships with our parents.
00:36:59:22 - 00:37:18:08
Alpha
Quite often it's a sibling. Like, for instance, you said the other day, you know, you know, someone you got, why can't you be more like fully, you know, in terms of saving, you have that and then that built in and then you're like, okay, so this is the good thing. I need to keep doing that. But then you're like, is it really the good thing or is it an away from behaviour or is it toward behaviour.
00:37:18:08 - 00:37:40:12
Alpha
So we start to look at that and then you look at how the decisions what's the what's behind the decisions that you've made. And it's not necessarily about money because sometimes money is just a side effect. in your 20s and we look in your 30s and then we start to look now like, okay, with all of that knowledge, that and a little bit more of an awareness about your money history, what do you want now going forward?
00:37:40:14 - 00:37:58:17
Alpha
If you could choose anything? Let's go completely unconstrained. What would you do? What would you want. How would you want to live? And I have, a lifestyle meditation that I take my clients through, and it's very sensory. And quite often it'll come up with things that are quite surprising. They'll be like, I didn't know that was so important to me.
00:37:58:19 - 00:38:34:09
Alpha
I was like, okay, and then we'll have to okay. So why was it? Why is it important to you? And I'm always, you know, that the why, why, why I love Simon Sinek and, because I think we underestimate how many layers of other people stuff we have in our psyche. you know, something that your, your grandma might have said when you're a kid or something that a teacher may have said that impacted you or didn't impact you in a way that should have, like I had some pretty I had a school counsellor say to me when I was a teenager, that I don't ever amount to being a sales assistant.
00:38:34:11 - 00:38:54:14
Alpha
And I'm like, Thank God I didn't believe her. I was like, and I actually was a sales assistant for a while I was at university, but it never occurred to me that that was it. But that's because my brain had just already I would probably already trade off when she started speaking, because I have a tendency to do that when people get a bit to like, you know, on and on.
00:38:54:16 - 00:39:10:21
Alpha
and because my mum was like that, my mum used to just in the car because I used to ice skate a lot and the ice skating rink was quite far from at home, so we spent a lot of time in the car. She used to lecture me in the car constantly, so of course I learnt to tune off, so I probably trade off when the school counsellor said that, thankfully.
00:39:10:23 - 00:39:25:03
Alpha
But there's those sorts of things that if you go back and you become aware of it, you're like, oh my gosh, that makes so many things make sense. And then you start to become aware of the patterns that you're currently behaving in. And that awareness then leads to some interruptions. And then you can start to work with it.
00:39:25:03 - 00:39:28:21
Alpha
But you've got it. You've got to go back first. You can't do it unfortunately.
00:39:29:03 - 00:39:42:04
Filly
Yeah, yeah. Everything you're saying I'm like, yeah, yeah I did that. Yeah. Something that really helped me to shift money stuff too is there's a great book Happy Money. You read that one.
00:39:42:06 - 00:39:43:07
Alpha
I actually just read it.
00:39:43:10 - 00:39:45:01
Filly
Oh did you. Okay. Yes I.
00:39:45:01 - 00:39:45:21
Alpha
Literally just read it.
00:39:46:03 - 00:39:46:12
Filly
There was.
00:39:46:16 - 00:39:47:07
Alpha
Love that.
00:39:47:09 - 00:40:10:03
Filly
Just like a paragraph or maybe a chapter where he talked about money. Money has always been there for you. Money is money is your friend. Money's got your back. And I remember reading that and having like a visceral and emotional experience in my body. So obviously I was ready to receive that information for it to then create new neural pathways that.
00:40:10:03 - 00:40:31:18
Filly
But it felt like a real big light bulb moment because before that moment, I always felt like it was hard and scary. And, you know, I wasn't very good with it, even though I could save. But, you know, it just caused a lot of stress. And then I'm like, oh, you know what? Even, like at our poorest times, money always was there for us.
00:40:31:18 - 00:40:55:12
Filly
We always got through, money always had our back. Yeah, money's our friend. So then as I started spending money or, you know, paying a bill or receiving money, it's just like, yeah, I love you. Thank you, thank you. Like literally creating money as an object or a person in my head that is like my best friend. And it was so nice.
00:40:55:12 - 00:40:57:19
Filly
And it really shifted things quite fast.
00:40:57:21 - 00:41:17:20
Alpha
Yeah, that relationship with money, like when I first read a book where it actually talked about that, I was like, yes, we actually do have a relationship with money. It is if we spend so much time thinking about an around a thing or a person, then we need to actually work on how that is and that and the level of gratitude as well, because nobody wants to be ignored.
00:41:17:22 - 00:41:39:04
Alpha
Nobody likes to to not feel important. So if we've got money, it's flowing in and out of our life, have gratitude and, and I guess appreciate the relationship that you have with it and the flow that goes with it. So paying a bill rather than just going, going appreciative of the fact that you had the thing or the service that you got from it, whether it's a phone or a power, water or whatever it is.
00:41:39:06 - 00:41:55:06
Alpha
I appreciate the thing that you got and that you have the ability to pay it. so it's it's. Yes. And that that can sound a little bit woowoo, I suppose, is the word a lot of people use, but it's exactly what you said. It creates a different energy, like even physiology changes when you think of it that way.
00:41:55:08 - 00:42:03:02
Filly
And around that my last question in question was going to be around how can you raise your money energy. Is that what we're talking about.
00:42:03:04 - 00:42:03:15
Alpha
Or that.
00:42:03:15 - 00:42:05:03
Filly
Is our. Yeah.
00:42:05:05 - 00:42:26:14
Alpha
Yeah. a lot of it is gratitude. And it's not just gratitude for money, but it's gratitude for everything. You know, there's, I practice I have a daily like, people journal. I have a gratitude journal. And that's what I do every day. and I've got into the habit now of trying to be more in the moment, grateful rather than just at the end of the day, trying to reflect on the day.
00:42:26:14 - 00:42:46:23
Alpha
So I'm I'm bringing it more into my physical present body of as I'm. Yeah, I cycling in the morning going, oh, wow. I'm grateful for being able to breathe such beautiful, fresh air and being able to freely cycle around and to have the physical capability to do that. and just getting into that, that elevating your overarching energy.
00:42:47:04 - 00:43:13:02
Alpha
And then when it comes to money, really watch your responses to when it comes up. And if you feel your body contracting or freezing, just tuning into the awareness of that and then making small little changes in terms of how you actually look at dealing with money. So just, you know, when the bills come, rather than putting them aside, get used to just opening it and trying to reduce the emotion that goes with it.
00:43:13:02 - 00:43:28:19
Alpha
And it's a piece of paper with a number on it. Yes. and it might be higher or maybe lower than you anticipate, but just trying to watch that energetics around it. I mean, there's a lot more to go with it, but there's some foundational starting places.
00:43:28:21 - 00:43:44:21
Filly
Yeah. So cool. We had a conversation I think it was yesterday. It reminded me of when you were saying like oh yeah, it's really hard to run a business. And I was just using like the free zoom and everything. anyway Chris increased alcohol drive storage.
00:43:44:23 - 00:43:52:03
Chris
Oh yeah. I was just like oh we need that. I'll buy that. So I bought it and then he's like, that's really expensive. 40 baht.
00:43:52:04 - 00:44:09:05
Filly
Oh, hang on. No, this is what happened to my body. And this is what I did to like, clear it quite quickly. I saw the email. I'm like, Google Drive is like increased our storage. I didn't do that. Like, I'm usually the one that pays the bills. Oh, do what's happening. Oscars. Did you do that?
00:44:09:06 - 00:44:09:20
Chris
Yeah.
00:44:09:22 - 00:44:15:08
Filly
And is I think you said like it's $40 a month. And like that's actually quite a lot of money for storage.
00:44:15:14 - 00:44:19:00
Chris
You're like, that's one that's really expensive. I'm like, is it.
00:44:19:02 - 00:44:33:01
Filly
And then it was so interesting because I caught myself in the moment that that was definitely like a patent that would show up all the time, all the time for me. And then I'm like, what's actually what's actually like the issue underneath this?
00:44:33:03 - 00:44:34:02
Chris
Yeah.
00:44:34:03 - 00:44:45:14
Filly
And then in my head I'm like, you know what? There actually isn't any at all anymore. We've got enough money to be able to pay for the storage, and it's going to make our days to.
00:44:45:14 - 00:44:46:17
Chris
Strike me not so.
00:44:46:17 - 00:44:53:04
Filly
Much easier, because for months he had been deleting things because it was late. well, I.
00:44:53:04 - 00:45:03:23
Chris
Couldn't I couldn't upload recordings for our calls and our podcasts and things like that. I'm like, oh, this is doing my head. And I'm. Yeah, I'm sorry, how much is it to upload? upgrade done.
00:45:04:01 - 00:45:24:18
Filly
And I mentioned that because that, that frustration that I was already feeling you had felt last night. And I'm pretty sure Jason was probably like, this is really annoying. Like needing to, like, delete things all the time was literally right, reducing energy. And it was purely around paying $40 a month. And then I'm like, oh, you know what?
00:45:24:18 - 00:45:32:09
Filly
Life is going to be so much easier. And Freya. Yeah, to allow this to flow out of our bank account.
00:45:32:11 - 00:45:48:09
Alpha
And that awareness because it then will freak because then there's exchange as well. So there's more energy there. So if the money's going out and I know this sounds a little bit counterintuitive, but then it allows more exchange for more money to come back again. So if we're constantly holding onto things, it doesn't allow the exchange. Either way.
00:45:48:09 - 00:46:04:06
Alpha
It's a little bit like and I had to learn this the hard way and I'm still learning it. I'm not very good at accepting help. And and we my I help my mum do some market stalls recently. And the first thing that happened when we got to the first market we did was this, this man ran over to help us put the, the gazebo up.
00:46:04:08 - 00:46:25:19
Alpha
And I was like, I can do that. I was just and I was just let him help because it allows and it allows me to feel the benefit of being helped. And it it really makes this person's day to be able to help because it's just it's that nice exchange of energy. And it felt really good. I was like, I need I need to allow others to help me more so that I can then help others too.
00:46:25:19 - 00:46:30:19
Alpha
So there's that reciprocal energy exchange rather than it always being one way. So it's the same thing with money.
00:46:30:22 - 00:46:37:20
Filly
Yeah. Just need Google to help us more. Can even give the money. It helps us so good. But that like.
00:46:37:22 - 00:46:39:15
Alpha
It meant you got over that faster.
00:46:39:17 - 00:46:55:02
Filly
Well yeah. And I would I know that in the past that would be still sitting in my body right now. And I would probably be really mad at you that you didn't ask me if it was okay, whereas it was just kind of like, oh, this actually makes life easier. This is totally fine. Where say, like, I'm safe.
00:46:55:05 - 00:46:57:06
Filly
Is there any danger here? No. I'm safe.
00:46:57:11 - 00:47:10:00
Chris
And then I go through that exact same conversation in my head. I'm like, is it okay that silly my wife is getting angry at me right now. Yeah. I'm safe. This is a silly issue.
00:47:10:02 - 00:47:17:09
Alpha
Yeah, it's because sometimes it genuinely is the other person's issue and you can't really do much about it except allow them the space to move through their stuff.
00:47:17:11 - 00:47:35:12
Filly
Yeah. Yeah yeah. Oh this has been fun. Thank you so much. I do love talking about money these days. And you know what. Again I can acknowledge my growth too because I think I would have felt really awkward asking someone to come on to our podcast to talk about money. It would have been like, oh my York, no.
00:47:35:12 - 00:47:36:02
Filly
Oh, that might.
00:47:36:05 - 00:47:36:22
Alpha
Talk about money.
00:47:37:01 - 00:47:48:15
Filly
That might make people feel uncomfortable. Say, I mean, if there is a listener that's felt like a little bit like, oh, this feels uncomfortable. Great. opportunity to look into that.
00:47:48:17 - 00:47:52:04
Alpha
Yes, absolutely. Now, you thank you both so much. Yeah.
00:47:52:04 - 00:48:02:02
Filly
Thank you. It's been awesome. So you have a free training video on Money mindset. can you chat about that, how to find it and also how to find you if people want to learn more about what you do.
00:48:02:04 - 00:48:20:12
Alpha
Yes, absolutely. probably my website's the easiest because it has links to everything in there. So that's money I made simple e-commerce for you. I've got links to all my socials in there, and I've got a whole area of freebies, so I've got one specifically on money mindset. And while it is for female entrepreneurs, the principles apply to everybody.
00:48:20:14 - 00:48:38:15
Alpha
I've also got another free video training called five Ways to Improve Your Finances, so that one's more of an overarching. So the mindset is more than that, literally how to overcome the minds side of it. And then the five ways also include some of the mechanics of how to manage your money too. So that both free trainings are on my website under the freebies.
00:48:38:17 - 00:48:39:12
Alpha
Awesome.
00:48:39:12 - 00:48:41:06
Filly
Thank you so much.
00:48:41:08 - 00:49:16:06
Chris
It's been awesome. Thank you so much for coming on. I'm excited to, to connect again and, and read some more of your stuff and, we'll have links to everything down in the show notes. But thank you so much, everyone, for joining us. We shall, see you on the next one. see, Alpha at like.
00:49:16:08 - 00:49:26:10
Filly
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
00:49:26:12 - 00:49:52:09
Chris
You can also write your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking our Ending Body Burnout assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about that group one on one ending body burnout programs, shoot us a DM via Instagram or Facebook. Have the best day ever.
00:49:52:11 - 00:49:52:19
Chris
For.
