00:00:03:07 - 00:00:16:23
Chris
Hello and welcome to the ending Buddy Burnout show. We are your host, Chris and Phile, co-founders of a multi winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood and gut issues.
00:00:17:00 - 00:00:24:21
Filly
Well, business, addictive doing, people pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm. It's not normal and it's a major contributor to health issues.
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Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplements hoping something might stick.
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Filly
So get ready to heal your body. Get your spark back deeply, connect with yourself, and step into the life of your dreams.
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Chris
Let's dive in.
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Filly
Hello! Welcome to the podcast. We are very excited to share this episode with you. Chris and I just recently interviewed Christopher Knight, who is a holistic practitioner, and there are a lot of similarities in his work and how we help our clients and their body burn out at a deeper metaphysical root root cause level. So this conversation that we had was a lot of fun.
00:01:24:05 - 00:01:52:18
Filly
we're speaking the same language. Christopher uses terms that are maybe a bit different to us, but essentially when you lose connection with your true and pure self, then that is when body burnout shows up in your system. Sorry, Sam. A formal bio of Christian Knight is, He has had over 15 years of experience as a holistic practitioner.
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Filly
Chris has discovered that many of the stress related illnesses plaguing people's lives today, which are largely overlooked or avoided by many health practitioners, including holistic practitioners, originates at the level of identity and ego otherwise known as shadow work. To empower his clients and fellow holistic practitioners around the globe. Chris found Self Intelligence, which offers specific skills, tools and experiences to work at the level of the ego to overcome the root cause of stress related chronic health issues, and much more.
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Filly
So let's dive into today's conversation. I know that if you really love the way that we talk about the body and the metaphysical side of body burnout, you really enjoy this conversation that we have today with Chris.
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Filly
Welcome to the podcast, everyone. We're super excited to have Christopher not on our focus today to be interviewed. He is a holistic practitioner. So we're going to dive right in and get to know him really personally, because I think he has a lot of awesome stuff to talk about.
00:03:05:00 - 00:03:06:12
Chris
Hey, Chris. Good night.
00:03:06:12 - 00:03:13:16
Filly
Hello, hello. I yeah, this could get confusing to Chris's eye. That's why you get called Chris. So, Christopher.
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Christopher
I get call Christopher generally when I'm in trouble.
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Filly
So I had a time. So call you Chris.
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Chris
That's awesome. I put Chris not as your your title down the bottom just to distinguish from from me. Chris.
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Filly
Yeah. This is the people watching on YouTube. Okay. So we yeah. Let's dive into your own body burn out story because we find that a lot of our guests who, in the holistic health, healing, personal development stories generally have their own story that they have moved through to now do what they do. So you happy to dive in?
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Filly
What that look like for you?
00:03:53:01 - 00:04:25:22
Christopher
well, I've I've experienced body burn burnout various times in various chapters where major growth areas have been major times of shift and deepening into a, a more aligned aspect of myself. one of my first experiences of body burnout was in my early 20s, and basically everything I was doing at that time just came crumbling down on me, right?
00:04:25:22 - 00:04:56:07
Christopher
It was like a it was like a dark night of the soul. You've probably heard of this kind of concept, and there was many areas of my life that were out of control or were just not in integrity or out of alignment. And, it was at the end of a relationship, and I, I essentially was in one of those Romeo and Juliet kind of level intensity relationships from the time I was 15 to 22 years old, which is really young.
00:04:56:09 - 00:05:21:13
Christopher
But it was like, and I think I mentioned Romeo and Juliet because they were really young. But to us at that time, it was also death. It was also the end of the world sort of feeling about it. And but it had its time and at that time I had pretty toxic debt. And I also wasn't doing the work that really felt aligned with me.
00:05:21:13 - 00:05:58:18
Christopher
And I was terrified of what was going to happen. If I could handle the grief of the loss of this relationship, I didn't know what I was going to do with my trajectory, where I was going. and yeah, I was like, the world just collapsed on me. And at that point I had to ask and I had to ask questions I never asked and start to look into ways of seeing myself that was not conditioned for me, anywhere, whether that was, you know, at home, at school or anything like that.
00:05:58:20 - 00:06:27:15
Christopher
And the manifest of it was, you know, chronic health issues. So I really love speaking on a podcast that's deals directly with health because my journey has been that whenever I'm called to listen at a deeper level within myself and and if I've resisted that for some period of time, my health will show it. It's like if it doesn't show anywhere else, the body's symptoms will come in and go, hey, you're not listening.
00:06:27:15 - 00:06:45:09
Christopher
It's time to to wake up to what's really going on here. And so I had chronic back pain at that time for like six years, and it got me all the way to, like, pain management clinic kind of thing, where they're telling me you're going to have this pain for the rest of your life, you're going to have to manage it.
00:06:45:11 - 00:07:12:22
Christopher
And what came with that pain was a lot of fatigue as well. What came with that pain, depression. And it was like that spiral down and if anyone's experience where health can just feel like it's just one thing after another collapsing and it feels like it feels dire, it's like I felt like 90 years old or something, and I was so young and it was just like, this can't be happening kind of thing.
00:07:13:00 - 00:07:29:06
Christopher
and it was at the VA that was the very first time where I, I was intuitively open to, to things that I wasn't before. And I took the inner journey from that point. So that was one of the one of the chapters. Yeah.
00:07:29:08 - 00:07:57:10
Filly
Yeah. So many similarities probably with both Chris and I actually fit. Yeah. In your 20s doing the things, I experienced a lot of chronic back pain too, and had the X-rays, the MRI's, the physio, the car in the in there. Like, there's nothing wrong with you that maybe just give it time and it's like, no, my body is clearly trying to tell me something here.
00:07:57:12 - 00:08:10:09
Filly
So for you like around that you started doing your own inner work. What do you feel like was the deepest root cause that was actually leading to the experience of body burnout?
00:08:10:11 - 00:08:59:03
Christopher
I love that question because I love root cause like root causes. My, my, my whole existence is like intentionally focussed on the root cause. And I've developed so over 15 years of continued like up and down journeys with, with health and, and you know, discovery what's really going on inside. I've discovered the root cause when I look back for myself and with everybody I work with, with some kind of fear of loss, and fear of uncomfortable feelings, fear of experiencing uncomfortable feelings, and that has a lot of different layers to it.
00:08:59:05 - 00:09:20:23
Christopher
So, I was terrified of losing, the partner that I had at that time, I was terrified of losing, the job that I had at that time that was extremely secure. I was in, the public service. I was doing really well there. I, I've got a whole background that I could go into that would explain why I would be so attached to that.
00:09:20:23 - 00:09:45:16
Christopher
I was uneducated, prior to that job, I was basically basically semi-literate. So to to get in a position like that was a real, it was amazing. And yet my heart saying, this is not here, this is not where it's going to end for you. And unlike, I don't think I can handle what that unknown horizon looks like.
00:09:45:18 - 00:10:14:23
Christopher
right. And I and that included the relationship I was in at that time. And if I, if I look at both of those things, I was afraid of what I was going to lose, what I was attached to at that time. I was also afraid of not being able to handle the grief. And because grace can be debilitating, or it can seem to be debilitating, particularly when we're not, culturally conditioned to to really work with grief.
00:10:15:01 - 00:10:38:19
Christopher
It's a, it's a hidden, you know, taboo kind of space because it's it's pretty gnarly there. And it's a bit ugly and it's a bit messy. Right. So the there was this and so what I, I've continued to look at throughout my life because at that time I was in complete denial. There was fear at all. I had no conscious awareness.
00:10:38:19 - 00:11:01:16
Christopher
There was fear happening at all. I wasn't sitting there going on afraid. I'm afraid of this, and I'm afraid of that. That was not the conversation that was going on. And yet that's exactly what was going on and what I've realised working with, you know, thousands of people now is that's a that's a really common thing that that we are living in cycle.
00:11:01:17 - 00:11:27:15
Christopher
Logical fear states that are completely masked over by our sense of self, our self image, the values we have, the beliefs we're running with, all of the things, the roles that we're playing and everything else. And it just it's just kind of running in the background unnoticed, driving everything. So what was the root cause? A lot of fear, unnoticed, unacknowledged.
00:11:27:19 - 00:11:52:09
Christopher
And to this day, it's the same thing. So if I, if I experience symptoms, which I do, I sometimes experience symptoms that will come up. It's a very fast process now. It was a very long process back then, but it's extremely fast now. I can go straight to the root of it. What I'm where is that fear connected into the circumstance that I'm currently in?
00:11:52:11 - 00:12:36:09
Christopher
And then, of course, how do I go about releasing that, which is the most important thing. So yeah, fear of loss. I and I've worked with a lot of different fears because I've got a whole like list of fears we can all relate to. Right. fear of failure, fear of abandonment, fear of, losing control, fear of, it just goes there's like, honestly like a hundred of them that are very common to, to humans to, to, to, you know, relate to, for example, if I'm going to public speaking, right, I might be afraid that I'm going to be rejected or not accepted by the people that I'm speaking to.
00:12:36:09 - 00:12:58:06
Christopher
I might be afraid that I'm I'm going to, say something wrong and humiliate myself. So I'm afraid of humiliation. And there's just so many of these fears. Right? But if you boil them all down, it comes back to this fear of loss. And it's like, if we can be so centred around that understanding, things become very simple.
00:12:58:08 - 00:13:16:15
Christopher
but when they're not centred around that understanding, things become very complex. It's like you can do so much work on yourself for like, ever and work around things. And then it's like, I'm not interested in that. it's like, what's really going on? How do we work with it? Yeah.
00:13:16:15 - 00:13:18:21
Chris
So get to the nitty gritty.
00:13:18:21 - 00:13:41:21
Filly
Get to the nitty gritty. There's a few things that I think about around that, like fear of self as well. The greatest fear that you have about yourself generally creates more fear. but also like thinking about the nervous system, which is connected to all our body systems, connected to symptoms. Our whole our whole system is wired for survival.
00:13:41:23 - 00:14:03:13
Filly
And so it's it's also wired for safety as well. So it's interesting that you were using the word fear a lot. Like the fear will just put your nervous system into a state of, fear fight, flight. But also the nervous system would prefer to stay in chaotic familiarity.
00:14:03:15 - 00:14:05:10
Christopher
I call that the comfortable nightmare.
00:14:05:16 - 00:14:08:00
Filly
Yeah, the comfortable nightmare like that one.
00:14:08:02 - 00:14:09:20
Chris
Cool.
00:14:09:22 - 00:14:30:21
Filly
Which is just crazy. Like our conscious, rational mind is like, that doesn't even make sense. But until you really get to, like, the deepest stuff that's going on in your system and, and create safety inside of yourself and safe, like safety essentially to be you in your body, then. Yeah, it's what did you call it, a comfortable nightmare.
00:14:30:23 - 00:14:31:20
Christopher
Comfortable nightmare.
00:14:31:20 - 00:14:36:17
Chris
That's a play on your last name to almost. Could be. Yeah, exactly.
00:14:36:19 - 00:14:40:07
Christopher
Trademark.
00:14:40:09 - 00:14:57:04
Filly
Now you talk you talk a lot about, working with the ego. yes. In your work. Can you talk about that? So people who. I mean, we hear the term ego, probably listeners have heard it, but some people might not know exactly what that means and why that's actually important to work with.
00:14:57:06 - 00:15:23:12
Christopher
Yeah. Well, we all have different definitions of a lot of different things. So my definition of ego is, is anything you've become attached to and connected to be your sense of self. So this this is now whatever this is, this thing has become a part of my sense of self. So that could be anything external and anything internal, anything this side of eyes and anything this side of the eyes.
00:15:23:12 - 00:15:49:07
Christopher
So we can be identified with our home or our car or our partner or our job or our role or anything like that, we can identify ourselves with that thing. And so that's, that's, that's creating a shape of me by doing that. We don't realise this, but it's creating a shape that we take on to be ourselves. And then inside of ourselves, we have our emotional states and our thoughts and beliefs and perceptions.
00:15:49:09 - 00:16:16:13
Christopher
And this is creating a sense, like a feeling sense of self, which we identify as me. That's me. So, for example, what this creates is like, if you were to say nice things to me right now, I could connect that to like, oh, are you talking about me? The person inside and that person is getting, you know, lifted up, if you like, if the comment was accepted or false.
00:16:16:15 - 00:16:48:03
Christopher
and then that feels like, oh, thank you that you've said that to me in further investigation. Who we really are goes further back then those things and we discover ourselves is something more even pure and, spacious than than what we've become identified with. And the challenge with the ego state is all of those things, changing then they're not six.
00:16:48:03 - 00:17:12:02
Christopher
They don't stay the same. And so the ego state is only a challenge because the ego state wants to stay the permanent state. It wants to be around. It's like it wants to have a sense of control and a sense of safety as you as you said. But the ego state provides the opposite of that because it doesn't have stability.
00:17:12:04 - 00:17:33:23
Christopher
It's in its in of itself not stable. So a role can change, a relationship can end, a job can disappear. Right? Different emotional states can come and contradict your sense of self. And then what am I supposed to do with that? This doesn't make sense. I'm not supposed to feel these things. That's not who I am. And it creates a whole bunch of confusion.
00:17:34:01 - 00:18:04:08
Christopher
So the ego just simply is a false sense of who we think we are. And it is felt and it is believed. It is felt and believed. And so it's very convincing. It's extremely convincing. and those people who have gone through health crisis or burnout and so on, they generally have to have let go of something that they thought was them that's not there.
00:18:04:10 - 00:18:49:21
Christopher
And they realise, wow, this healing journey was so powerful because I discovered at a deeper level who I actually am, not who I believe myself to be. That was unquestioned and it had to be questioned. So I had to somehow let go of something. And what I've heard from your stories is a very similar realisation, something was realised in the goals of the the energy to return, because the energy is, our body energy is sapped in this, trying to control this very unstable sense of self because it is it is intrinsically it is by nature insecure, it is by nature lacking.
00:18:49:23 - 00:19:05:03
Christopher
It is by nature not enough. And so that's going to show up. It's going to show up in relationships. It's going to show up at work. It's going to show up everywhere. And it's pretty exhausting, right? So you get the burnout, you end up burning out with it.
00:19:05:05 - 00:19:05:18
Filly
Yeah.
00:19:05:19 - 00:19:06:07
Christopher
Yeah.
00:19:06:09 - 00:19:26:19
Filly
And that I think about when we were talking about chronic pain before, oh my gosh, massive identity around being like the fit girl. It's like, look at all these things I can do with my body. This is before kids. After kids try to continue being holding up to that identity and feeling so torn that I couldn't do the things that I used to be able to do.
00:19:26:20 - 00:19:47:06
Filly
But I was holding on to, like, as you're talking about the ego identity, to the point that I was literally every time I tried to pick up a barbell to do a back squat or a deadlift, like my back just kept cracking in a really bad way. Yeah, but it took me a really long time to stop that.
00:19:47:08 - 00:20:08:14
Filly
And I think that that's just like a really practical example of what you were talking about, to then be able to say, hang on, that actually, like that identity doesn't define my worth as a human being, like my pure, my pure worth as a human being. So therefore, in order for me to be able to heal, I must change the way I'm moving my body and exercising.
00:20:08:16 - 00:20:31:21
Filly
And I see that a lot too, with clients, people like, especially something like chronic fatigue, where they may have ended up there because of running Type-A perfectionism. People pleasing patterns always doing, doing, doing. And they get to the point where they're so exhausted and their capacity is limited and they can't do as much, but their energy is still trying to do the things.
00:20:31:23 - 00:20:43:22
Filly
And so it's just that get stuck in that perpetual cycle of it makes it really difficult to heal. So thanks for sharing that, because I love the way that you described the ego.
00:20:44:00 - 00:21:05:15
Christopher
And that's, that's that's one of my first experiences myself that we can both relate to, as I was going way too hard at the gym in ways that were compensatory to the ego aspect that was lacking in a certain way. and my body couldn't do it. It was failing. And then it was this frustration. My body's failing me now, you know, my body's failing me.
00:21:05:16 - 00:21:21:04
Christopher
It's like, who's this me that my body's failing? Have I ever asked this? Right, I love it, and it's like, no, we don't question the me. We question the body. Like the body's the problem. And it's like, wait is set right?
00:21:21:05 - 00:21:25:08
Filly
Yeah. Are you laughing because you're thinking about your strongman days?
00:21:25:09 - 00:21:38:05
Chris
Oh, I just, I really resonate, but not even only purely for myself, but I see this, over and over and over again. It's like my body is,
00:21:38:07 - 00:21:39:04
Filly
At war with.
00:21:39:04 - 00:22:00:10
Chris
Me. Yeah, right. I've got a dodgy knee, or I've got a bad back, or I'm my my body is killing me or, you know, like, it's it's this sort of language. There's so many different ways of, of doing it, but it's just like, oh hang on you, how are you right now? How are you being right now? Oh I'm exhausted.
00:22:00:10 - 00:22:17:23
Chris
All right. Well, and I'm why are you trying to do the not exhausted stuff, you know, like you're not running on, full capacity right now. So. So what? Why are you trying to.
00:22:18:01 - 00:22:42:06
Christopher
And and that's where the question is. What are you going to lose? Yeah, it as soon as you understand the loss, it, it becomes very, very clear and and a lot of it is ego needs. Okay. So speaking of ego, ego has a bunch of needs that have to be met. And the ego need could be, well, I need to be a physical shape, for example, to be loved and approved of.
00:22:42:08 - 00:23:06:09
Christopher
So unless I'm that shape, I don't believe I'll be loved in approval. So that's my ego need. And this squat and this exercise regime and everything is going to fulfil that need. So I have to keep it going. Right. Or there's a, there's a whole range of, of ego needs that, that, that drive I might lose my own love and approval.
00:23:06:11 - 00:23:34:09
Christopher
We look we have we can literally lose our own love and approval. there's a that's what's shame is about, and it's like I have a self-image, which is an interesting phenomenon, isn't it? I have a self-image, and and I have to upkeep the self-image that I believe will essentially give me what I want to feel okay inside.
00:23:34:11 - 00:23:55:21
Christopher
If I can present to the world in a certain way that I believe will do that, then everything will be okay. But of course the world doesn't serve our self-image and certainly our body doesn't serve our self-image. And that's the one of the places that it becomes a rude awakening is that the body is not onboard with this idea.
00:23:55:23 - 00:24:35:05
Christopher
The body is governed by universal laws. It's not governed by the idea of what we think it should do. And so there's a humble pie that happens. There's like I've got to surrender to the bigger the bigger reality outside of the idea I have myself. And that's the very, that's not everyone's up to that. You know. It's like you know and for some of us we're fortunate that our bodies are so sensitive, they won't let us go too far with delusions before they start sending the message.
00:24:35:06 - 00:24:53:16
Christopher
You know, like, it's like you. I'm not letting you get away with being that out of integrity or that misaligned or that delusional. I'm going to show you the signals. And that's you falling apart, right? Yeah, yeah, well, a lot of us are here because we're sensitive to that.
00:24:53:18 - 00:25:15:01
Chris
I love that. And and it's just kind of like, the smoke alarm beeping beeping, beeping. It's like, how long is it going to take you to get a chair or a ladder and change those batteries? It's that the back sensations is the is the beep. You know, the the knee sensations is the beep in the smoke alarm.
00:25:15:01 - 00:25:35:02
Chris
It's like, okay, what what's your what is your body or what's your what's being said here? What's the signal all about? yeah. And and sometimes the most stubborn, the person I've found, speaking from experience, myself and me and you and a lot of other.
00:25:35:05 - 00:25:36:15
Christopher
I mean, let's let's.
00:25:36:17 - 00:25:37:09
Chris
Let's all be on the.
00:25:37:09 - 00:25:38:04
Christopher
Stubbornness.
00:25:38:05 - 00:25:58:07
Chris
Let's be in the stubborn circle. you know, it just it brings us to a whole our our bodies, the sensations, the experience that we're when noticing, it's like the someone's just duct taped a megaphone to the smoke alarms, like, beep. Change the batteries.
00:25:58:09 - 00:26:22:11
Christopher
Yeah. Stubbornness is such an important subject and it's, it's a, it's a very childish aspect of the ego state to be, to be stubborn and that's often why it requires a softening to mature. and, and, and letting go is a part of that. The stubbornness is the hold on.
00:26:22:13 - 00:26:23:16
Filly
protection.
00:26:23:18 - 00:26:48:16
Christopher
I'm going to hold on to the need to be validated. For example, I'm going to hold on to the need for attention. I'm going to hold on to the need to be wanted. Like, if I don't get that, I cannot be okay. so I'm so stubbornly believing that that's true. And we're not taught to question these ideas.
00:26:48:18 - 00:27:14:19
Christopher
We're not taught to question these conditioned narratives. They just run rife in our lives until they to our bodies fail. And then, or all other things fail to like it's relationships is a very good example of where that happens. Finance is the the body extends out to every aspect of your life. You know, it's it's all a reflection of you of yourself.
00:27:14:21 - 00:27:38:03
Christopher
to be learned and but I love the body because the body, the body represents the greatest loss which is death. Yeah. So, so the body, when the body's symptoms come up and they're reflecting death, there's a greater degree of willingness to look at things because it's like I can because of the fear I'm talking about is psychological.
00:27:38:03 - 00:28:14:04
Christopher
Meaning self-created is not actually something that is founded in reality. And that can take a lot, of lot of experience to understand that, to discern the difference between a real danger and something that's self-created. So I often use the, the bogeyman, you know, because we can all relate to creating the bogeyman that we were afraid of. Right? And we all we can all most of us at least, can relate to to not being afraid of that anymore and maybe even love pain and in the dark, it's like an enjoyable thing.
00:28:14:04 - 00:28:32:12
Christopher
And it's like, okay, well, that's, that's, that's shifted. But my fear that I might miss out. That's just running rife and it's just destroying my relationship. So my need for appreciation is killing.
00:28:32:14 - 00:28:33:05
Chris
00:28:33:07 - 00:28:34:09
Filly
00:28:34:11 - 00:29:03:11
Christopher
So many different areas of my life and it's like but I believe it if I don't have anything else. So it's like until you discover who you are beyond that ego state, it's the one running. It's the one driving it everything. That's why I speak about the ego in that way. But you could even remove that word ego if that's distracting and just be discover what you're afraid of losing.
00:29:03:13 - 00:29:04:04
Filly
Yeah.
00:29:04:06 - 00:29:15:14
Christopher
Yeah, it would be the same conversation. It's the same conversation because I think people get bit like defensive about like the ego with all the ideas. You know, it's like.
00:29:15:16 - 00:29:16:05
Filly
Just drive.
00:29:16:05 - 00:29:36:20
Christopher
It. Just, just look at that. Just look at the fears. The fears that are there. And the internal fears are the ones that we, often have been investigated very much. I think people can relate more to the external fears of loss, but the internal fears of loss are driving harder than the external fears of loss. And they're the ones we're mostly unaware of.
00:29:36:22 - 00:29:38:07
Christopher
Yeah.
00:29:38:09 - 00:29:43:13
Filly
Can we talk about the drama drama triangle. We love the drama triangle.
00:29:43:15 - 00:29:46:15
Christopher
I love I absolutely love the drama triangle.
00:29:46:16 - 00:30:00:00
Filly
Now I know, I know any clients listening will know what we're talking about. But for anyone else who is listening that is like what the heck is a drama triangle? And what's that got to do with body fat and stress? Can you elaborate?
00:30:00:02 - 00:30:27:21
Christopher
Well, my and my version of the drama triangle, dovetails perfectly with what we're talking about now. So it goes from those those fears, whatever they are, if it's not questioned and believed, that means now I've embodied this to be a reality, then it moves to the victim state as a starting point. So because whenever you lose something, there's the energetic of the victim, right.
00:30:27:23 - 00:31:05:18
Christopher
And then directly from there we'll go into a rescue a role or a perpetration, a perpetrator role. From that point. And so who we become is like a, a soup of this cycle within ourselves of the victim, perpetrator, rescuer. and it's all it happens very quickly. So, so if anyone feels as though they're victimised by a situation very quickly, almost the instant after they will perpetrate against themselves or others in, in subtle or extreme ways.
00:31:05:18 - 00:31:36:02
Christopher
It depends on what the situation is. so ways we usually come through dialogue and body language and this type of thing, or it'll come through addictions and distractions and but further out to that and it'll be really obvious things. But mostly what we're experiencing is the is the subtle ramifications of the victim perpetrator, rescuer dynamic. And it's it's a huge conversation in relationships.
00:31:36:02 - 00:32:15:20
Christopher
Right. because it's showing up all the time there. So for people, but when it comes to the body, that's the state of stress that the nervous system is in. That's, you know, producing the toxic hormones and chemicals that are breaking down the tissues of the body and stopping absorption, nutrients and oxygen. And, you can go on the whole chemistry of that, but this the it's that's all happening as a reflection to me of this state, if you take in that on an embodied that in yourself and I, I've done a lot of work with, I train people in emotional anatomy.
00:32:15:21 - 00:32:50:22
Christopher
Right. So that's reading the body, reading the state that you've taken on and the great and it's amazing to see when people have held those states for long periods of time, usually because they've experienced trauma, right? They've experienced trauma in the in the childhood and so on. It presents so clearly in their physicality. It presents as like fixed state, some body language and you see certain lines and looks and you just see someone, you go, jeez, they've had a tough road, like it's all over their face.
00:32:50:22 - 00:33:18:09
Christopher
You can you can sort of see this. And so there's a lot to discuss around it. And I love this because it's less of a place that I tend to find people identify with. There's many areas in the health and wellness space, a holistic space where it's like, try to find your type of whatever you know, like whatever that is.
00:33:18:13 - 00:33:40:05
Christopher
There's a few different things opening up around the space, and I find that ego actually loves to hide in those areas. Like, yeah, I can grab that, like analogy tests, you know, and but whereas with the victim, perpetrator rescuer, I don't find there's such a strong tendency to want to identify with any one of those. You. Right.
00:33:40:11 - 00:33:41:00
Christopher
Yeah.
00:33:41:02 - 00:33:52:09
Filly
It's just like people get a bit aggressive about it or they say like, no, I'm not a victim. This is stupid. Oh, like, no, I'm not. I'm just going to go rescue someone else so I can deflect my own issues.
00:33:52:09 - 00:33:59:20
Christopher
And exactly, exactly. And the rescue, I, I've coined good person syndrome.
00:33:59:22 - 00:34:01:12
Chris
Oh, I like it.
00:34:01:14 - 00:34:30:13
Christopher
And good person syndrome is is one of the toughest things to see because it's so justifiable to be in that state. And yet it is like one of the number one causes of body burnout is being in good person syndrome. Yeah. And and because it's so justifiable to be there and it's so right and it's so righteous to be in that space, to be that rescuer position.
00:34:30:15 - 00:34:47:04
Christopher
but it it's it, it is such a perpetration that comes through it. Usually it's to their own bodies. So their own bodies will perfect will be the expression, the way that perpetration plays out. but it is also outward from in relationships and so on.
00:34:47:06 - 00:34:59:01
Filly
There's often resentment that comes as well as like I'm, I do everything for everyone and now I'm exhausted. I never have any time for myself. So that's usually. Yeah. The A we call a perpetrator aggressor.
00:34:59:03 - 00:34:59:17
Christopher
Oh yes.
00:34:59:17 - 00:35:29:22
Filly
Yes. Yeah. I literally just got a email from someone about she's working through the drama triangle and yeah, identified with how far out even as a little girl, I have been so worried about the world. Like, that's kind of like where it can show up subtly as a rescuer that until you start unpacking the drama triangle, that actually kind of looks like a good thing, but it actually literally burns people out.
00:35:30:00 - 00:35:51:21
Filly
Empathises probably like, I get a lot of people say I'm just an empath. I feel things like really deeply and not that that's a bad thing. Nothing's bad until it is. But it's like, that's sapping your your energy and your emotions. And you're stuck now in this cycle. Then people are hiding out from. Yeah, behind the rescue.
00:35:51:21 - 00:35:58:17
Christopher
All I find for a lot of people, the empath is a really clever cover for the victim mode.
00:35:58:19 - 00:35:59:16
Chris
00:36:00:04 - 00:36:29:10
Christopher
Because they're actually often a victim of their own sensitivity. Yeah. Because remembering the those two things the loss and uncomfortable feelings and it's like I feel like lots of stuff and a lot of that's making me, make me uncomfortable making me, I'm now a victim of what I'm feeling. And I'm going to use this identity, called I'm an empath.
00:36:29:10 - 00:36:54:05
Christopher
And now if that becomes identified with in the way that the ego would use it, it will have destructive causes because it's it's just because it's fear based anything fear based causes the fear to happen. It's like a unit the universal laws. You get what you fear. So it doesn't protect us. This is the point. It's not like it's the wrong thing to do.
00:36:54:05 - 00:37:13:18
Christopher
It's just it's not going to work. Yeah. But whenever you get an identity given to you it feels like a relief even like a diagnosis. How many people feel relieved when they first get a diagnosis. It's like oh I know what this is. Now I'm clear about it and I've got this and it's like, yeah, but that doesn't change the symptoms.
00:37:13:18 - 00:37:33:12
Christopher
It doesn't remove the responsibility to deal with what's going on. But it does feel like that when I now I now understand what I'm dealing with. And it's like that's externally oriented. Again the ego's using that. It's it's using that to, to feel itself or that it's innocent of course.
00:37:33:14 - 00:38:04:16
Chris
Or they use that diagnosis to justify the management or suppression of the symptoms and the signals. And so they take medication or even things that seem on the surface to be benign, like breathwork and stretching and yoga and all this sort of stuff, which is, you know, I, I lie is not that bad. And so yeah, it's but but it can be used as a crutch or or management suppression type thing to, to look at a what are you, what fear you actually covering up.
00:38:04:16 - 00:38:10:14
Chris
Like what's the how come you got that. Like what's the what's the root root cause of that. Where does that come from.
00:38:10:16 - 00:38:34:09
Christopher
And then at that position because of our conditioning, it's like, why should I be responsible to even ask that question? That that's not even my responsibility. And anyone who's had chronic pain has had to come to some realisation. This is my responsibility. It's not my fault. It's not a fault. It's just my responsibility to to really look at this.
00:38:34:11 - 00:38:50:04
Christopher
But I don't know how to look at like, what are you, what are you? Where do I even start to look at it? And that's why I love speaking with people like you, because you're you're offering that, you know, you're offering ways for people to to inquire perhaps to to what's really happening. Yeah.
00:38:50:06 - 00:39:17:11
Filly
Can we end with some practical what takeaways for people that might be listening that could actually start moving out of whether it's the drama triangle or what to do when they're getting triggered? Like a lot of people use the word triggered, feeling something, whether it's an emotional or a physical, what could be some, some first initial steps for someone to start moving towards holistic healing?
00:39:17:13 - 00:39:50:20
Christopher
Well, the first steps that that I can resonate with in my own experience and that I, yes, support other people with is first discover who you really are as an actual realisation and an experience that's not belief based. That is just self-evident. And usually that will come to some form of silence, some kind of meditation, something that brings you to the obvious that you, this awareness behind everything.
00:39:50:22 - 00:40:15:19
Christopher
And you don't have to believe that it's not as you're not subscribing to a belief, you're just saying the obvious. Yes, I can see a thought. Yes, I can see that emotion. Yes, I can see that I'm the CEO. I'm not the things and have a habit and discipline around remembering that and being with that, you know, once or twice a day.
00:40:15:21 - 00:40:44:08
Christopher
Or at least once a day coming back home to yourself. That's what, you know, you could call it that, coming back home to yourself. So that's the this is who I really am. So what happens there is you don't even have to try. But the fear is already alleviated in the fact of who you are. You're not trying something to do to get rid of the see you actually coming out of it by the fact of that realisation.
00:40:44:10 - 00:41:14:20
Christopher
So that's a daily kind of practice. The second thing is to learn how to identify what you're not. So this comes down to understanding thoughts and perceptions beliefs and so on. So so for example when you're triggered by something there are very typical thoughts that are part of that trigger that we as people in this society are completely unaware of a happening.
00:41:14:22 - 00:41:39:14
Christopher
And they're really simple thoughts. And those thoughts because they're not aware of they become part of our sense of self and our lived as a as a reality. So if you're triggered by something, what are those thoughts? And they usually come to something that you think and believe should or shouldn't be happening. For example, this shouldn't be happening or this should be happening.
00:41:39:16 - 00:42:03:05
Christopher
So now I'm in an argument with reality and on believing that, and that should and shouldn't is always tied back to something that is fear is going to be lost in that which the nervous system is then triggering almost the whole biological process. There's usually what it's thoughts, you know, what if, what if this doesn't go right? What if I go in on that plane and that crashes?
00:42:03:05 - 00:42:36:05
Christopher
What if this relationship for what if what if these kinds of thoughts would generally be behind this trigger? And the what if will be felt experienced in the body? And now that may that's May. Who's in the vibration of that? there are needs and there is a whole range of thoughts that I have. There's about 5 or 6 primary ones that you want to be aware of, and from there it's to question the reality of those things.
00:42:36:07 - 00:42:58:21
Christopher
You know, essentially, is this true? Like one I'm believing, is this is this a fact? Right. Like, can this be put out for question? Is the fact that my it looks like my partner's flirting with someone. They're over there while I'm at this party. Does that really mean it's the end of our relationship that I'm believing right now that's causing my behaviour in this moment?
00:42:58:23 - 00:43:24:04
Christopher
Is that really true? Right. And so we learn to realise I'm only suffering my perception. Because I'm not in control of what's happening out there in the way that I would like to be. So we, we start to realise, oh I have been telling the world it has to show up the way that I want it to show up, to feel okay, but it doesn't ever do it.
00:43:24:06 - 00:43:51:20
Christopher
So this is where it's okay. I've got to know who I really am. And I've also got to understand how to investigate what I'm not. That I believe I am, so that the two things that, other starting points for simplicity in the process of freeing yourself from the inside out and the process of healing, because healing cannot happen whilst those things are believed.
00:43:51:22 - 00:44:17:03
Christopher
Because whatever you believe and think holds the vibration of your feeling state and you're feeling state is just emanating out to everything throughout your whole body, through every cell of your body, and then outward from there. So, until we learn to do that now, no one, no one can tell me, particularly now, don't remember. It's changing now, but we didn't get one subject to school.
00:44:17:03 - 00:44:19:00
Christopher
Even what a belief was.
00:44:19:02 - 00:44:20:18
Chris
00:44:20:20 - 00:44:34:04
Christopher
Did we? They never said they're gone. This is what a belief is. And this is what a feeling is, and this is what an emotion is. And this is what nothing of that has been said that anybody until more recently.
00:44:34:06 - 00:44:41:03
Filly
I studied psychology at university, and I'm pretty sure they didn't talk about beliefs. They talked a lot about behaviour.
00:44:41:05 - 00:45:03:20
Christopher
Yes, yes, because you can diagnose behaviour and it keeps it there, keeps it out there, keeps it external. You say because the world is terrified of realising we don't know who we actually are. We we loves going around with this false idea of that because it's like we walking around knowing what who we are. But if you ask anybody who are you?
00:45:03:20 - 00:45:30:00
Christopher
They're like, oh, if you ask me directly, I'm not really sure. But in my general life, I seem to know what I'm doing. You know, to some extent. Right. And it's a taboo subject is self-discovery. And yet when you actually get involved with it, it's so practical. It's it's the most practical thing. Now, I'm not interested in fluff and spiritual will.
00:45:30:00 - 00:45:52:22
Christopher
I don't have any interest in any of that. I'm interested in how does investigating ourselves impact the practicalities of our life? How does it help you be better in your relationships and look after your home and do like what does someone have? Hoarder. Why are someone a hoarder? For example? It manifests as hoarding. They're afraid of loss, they're connected to it in their identity, and they've made it a part of themselves.
00:45:52:23 - 00:45:57:18
Christopher
They cannot let it go because they would be lost with the letting go. You say it's like it's in.
00:45:57:19 - 00:46:05:07
Filly
A garage, right? I just have to say the garage needs going out, does it?
00:46:05:07 - 00:46:09:06
Christopher
Yes. And it is. And, you know, they say cleanliness is next to godliness. Next, if.
00:46:09:07 - 00:46:11:06
Chris
I go in my garage.
00:46:11:08 - 00:46:36:17
Christopher
Right. So. So the two practical things that I love, practical love, you ask, is first, have a practice in your life that reminds you of who you are beyond who you feel you are. That small person everyone can relate is is this is kind of like small because particularly when you're challenged, because really small, right? If you're going to go to public space, all of a sudden you're this big, you go to public speaking.
00:46:36:17 - 00:47:01:05
Christopher
Now your this but that person discover who you are, be on that day. Always be with that. That's your source of peace and fulfilment and sanity and everything that we value to be, you know, stand up as a human. And then secondly, learn to investigate and question and and don't mistake this as mental work because it's not meant to work.
00:47:01:09 - 00:47:08:08
Christopher
It's awareness work. but sometimes people get a bit of a treat. You like, I don't want to. I don't want to work.
00:47:08:10 - 00:47:09:20
Filly
What want to do that.
00:47:09:22 - 00:47:39:01
Christopher
Work on their mind. So it's like, no, this is not this is awareness work. You are becoming aware of what you're not so that you can be free of your own prison sentence. Because we all discover in the healing journey, always in my own way, how do I get out of my own way? Right. so yes, this is this is essentially what it's come down to, but the ego in everybody is not going to like what I've just said is too simple.
00:47:39:01 - 00:47:55:21
Christopher
It's like none. And I, you know, I think in this in my special, you understand my special situation, yet you don't get what it's like for me. And it's like, no, it's the same for everyone. Everyone has a unique experience with the same thing, but the core of it's the same. Yeah, everyone has a unique experience of that.
00:47:55:21 - 00:47:56:17
Christopher
Yeah.
00:47:56:19 - 00:48:00:23
Filly
This has been so good. But you could talk for hours that we've had a wrap up.
00:48:01:01 - 00:48:02:03
Christopher
Yeah.
00:48:02:05 - 00:48:13:05
Filly
How can people connect with you if they want to learn more? And you also have a free workshop wake up experience. Do you want to just, yeah. Let our listeners know how they can find you.
00:48:13:07 - 00:48:36:10
Christopher
Yeah. Well, if you want to, everything I've just said there, if you want to have access to that, I mean, we're in the day and age where we basically give everything away, so, you know, for nothing, to just offer up, like, so much value. The wake up experience gives you everything of what I just spoke to in terms of the how to, self-discovery and self-inquiry.
00:48:36:12 - 00:49:02:06
Christopher
and the your link will be there. It's called the wake up experience. And there's it's a massive moment. It's a massive awakening. If you're in confusion or overwhelm and stress or just feeling a bit lost and want to feel really centred, then that's the invitation and you can start that straight away. and as for my services, I do one on one coaching with people.
00:49:02:08 - 00:49:27:08
Christopher
you can find me on the Chris Knight icons. What I do, and I also have a community to come together to do the work you can consider, like in a gym if you like. It's it's just something that people have is a part of their life. And we do awareness practices every week. We do meditation together. Every week we share our insights and what we're discovering within ourselves, and that's helpful to everyone.
00:49:27:08 - 00:49:38:12
Christopher
And it's a really beautiful space, that's just thriving at the moment. So yeah, that's that's essentially what puts the so great.
00:49:38:14 - 00:49:40:05
Filly
Thank you so much. Thank you.
00:49:40:10 - 00:49:44:10
Chris
Thank you, Chris, for coming on. It's been awesome chatting to you. I've got a,
00:49:44:12 - 00:49:45:06
Filly
Let's invite.
00:49:45:08 - 00:49:53:04
Chris
A lot of notes. I'm excited to, to, keep the connection and reach out and stay in touch.
00:49:53:06 - 00:50:06:00
Christopher
yeah. Thank you for having me on. And thank you for your work that you're doing in the world. The the dedication you have to, Yeah. To share this. This is so needed, you know? Yeah, that's for sure. That.
00:50:06:02 - 00:50:13:06
Chris
All right, mate? Well, thank you so much for, for joining us. we look forward to catching up with you another time.
00:50:13:08 - 00:50:14:09
Christopher
Perfect. Thank you.
00:50:14:15 - 00:50:18:20
Chris
Catch up.
00:50:18:22 - 00:50:29:00
Filly
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
00:50:29:02 - 00:50:47:09
Chris
You can also write your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking our Ending Body Burnout assessment on our website and if you're interested in learning about that group one on one ending buddy burnout programs, shoot us a DM via Instagram or Facebook. Have the best day ever.
