00:00:03:07 - 00:00:16:23
Chris
Hello and welcome to the ending Buddy Burnout show. We are your host, Chris and Filly, co-founders of a multi winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood and gut issues.
00:00:17:00 - 00:00:18:16
Filly
Well, business, addictive doing.
00:00:18:16 - 00:00:21:13
Grace
People pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm.
00:00:21:13 - 00:00:24:21
Filly
It's not normal and it's a major contributor to health issues.
00:00:25:00 - 00:00:38:04
Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplements hoping something might stick.
00:00:38:05 - 00:00:40:17
Grace
So get ready to heal your body.
00:00:40:18 - 00:00:46:07
Filly
Get your spark back deeply, connect with yourself, and step into the life of your dreams.
00:00:46:10 - 00:00:56:00
Chris
Let's dive in.
00:00:56:02 - 00:01:36:20
Filly
Hello and welcome to the podcast. We have an epic episode for you today. Chris and I just finished interviewing one of our fabulous clients, Grace, who has completed her ending body burnout. Jenny just recently graduated, which is always really exciting. Bittersweet. Sad. Sad when when clients leave us because it is just such a special space and such an intensive space when you're in the space of healing and growing and transforming, but also so sweet because she has what she wants, which is really cool.
00:01:36:22 - 00:02:16:14
Filly
Now, today we take you through oh, grace really shares her story around why she came to us. She was really struggling with a lot of more life pain, really exhausted running perfectionism patterns over doing patterns, always responsible for others, trying to fix everyone else and and she came to us because she resonated with our way of healing, and also with my own ability to be able to let go of rewire reprogramme perfectionism or doing patterns that led to my own chronic health issues in the first place.
00:02:16:15 - 00:02:57:10
Filly
Interestingly, Grace then, started showing signs of an old chronic health issue, vestibular migraines, which were really bad and happening almost every day. They got so bad that she was vomiting diarrhoea and would end up in bed for 17 hours. So she had some real physical things happening in her system as well. And I love as we go through Grace's journey because she was the type of person that was like the health, not always going 110%, trying to be healthy, trying to get to the root cause, trying to eat better and and build a healthy home and like get rid of toxins and all that sort of stuff.
00:02:57:10 - 00:03:20:04
Filly
Take the supplements, do all the lab testing. So we dig into that. And also the way that she was trying to heal herself the old way was actually the same reason why she developed breast cancer in the past in the first place. And, why she was feeling exhausted with her way of being and her life and the really bad visiting being a migraine.
00:03:20:04 - 00:03:41:00
Filly
So we talk about the physical a bit. We really dig into the metaphysical side of her healing journey, which we call the root root cause. So what is the deepest fear that you have about yourself which will keep your body unsafe and unable to heal? So we'll get to that episode in a city. Just a couple of announcements.
00:03:41:02 - 00:04:12:12
Filly
If you love what you hear today and we to our way of ending body burn out, we are running next week. Or actually, when is this episode going live? Let me just check my calendar. People know we are running two day. Our free live coaching week kicks off, so if you're listening to this episode on the day that is released, we have we will be starting our free coaching week, which is all around.
00:04:12:12 - 00:04:34:04
Filly
Retrain your brain to end body burnout and we'll be covering all the things that Grace spoke about today that helped her to heal and unravel perfectionism, over doing, over responsible patterns, and also to get her health and her body back. So if you haven't signed up for that, definitely go to the show notes and sign up. Day one.
00:04:34:06 - 00:05:00:09
Filly
We will be talking about brain and how it's actually really hard to rewire a brain that is in flames. So we're looking more at the physical side of the brain and how to reduce and identify if you have brain inflammation. And also how to reduce and heal it. Day two we go into how can we retrain, rewire the brain so that it's not a Band-Aid approach.
00:05:00:09 - 00:05:24:21
Filly
And, even Grace talks about this actually. She said, oh, she was advised to just, like, just pretend that you're not pretend. Just say that you're safe and look into the distance and everything will be okay. So a lot of the times when people start using more metaphysical brain retraining, subconscious rewiring, type exercise or tools, it can end up being a Band-Aid approach.
00:05:24:21 - 00:05:45:22
Filly
If you're not addressing the root root cause, which is the deep beliefs that you have about yourself. So that's what we're going to focus on on day two. And then day three, we're going to look at how you can create safety in the body and switch off neural pathways, and safety or danger, which is sending those signals down to the body.
00:05:45:22 - 00:06:12:01
Filly
So if you're getting physical symptoms or mental health issues as well, we'll show you how you can switch that off so that your brain feels safe, your unconscious mind and nervous system feel safe. And then essentially, your symptoms dissipate. And again, Grace talks about that part of her journey as well. So jump down to the show notes and sign up and also our doors to the ending body burnout method.
00:06:12:03 - 00:06:38:08
Filly
Are you open today on the day that this podcast is released? It is only open to the white listers. So if you jump on again to the shownotes and jump over to the Ending Body Burnout Method page, you can pop your name on the waitlist. You'll get an instant email that will give you access to early bird access, which means that you also get $500 worth of early bird bonuses, which is really cool.
00:06:38:10 - 00:07:04:23
Filly
And if you're listening to this podcast and Tuesday has gone and past you say, the 17th, the doors open to the rest of the public on Wednesday the 18th. Sorry. You can jump in and sign up to the ending Body burnout method. We only have the doors open for one week, so we do closed doors on the 24th of September at 9 p.m. things move fast.
00:07:05:01 - 00:07:23:22
Filly
And the doors will be closing and we won't be opening doors again until 2025. So again, if you love this episode, you've been loving engaging in our content on the podcast. Maybe you've read the book, maybe you've attended some of our free live events in the past, and your heart is saying, I am ready. This is my time.
00:07:24:00 - 00:07:48:02
Filly
This is my time to end my body, burn out once and for all, and find my beautiful spark and deeply love and accept and trust myself. Do it people do it. Jump down to the show and sign up. We are will be on the other side working in you with open arms. We are really proud of what we have created and the amount of support.
00:07:48:04 - 00:08:03:07
Filly
Again, Grace talks about different courses, different practitioners that she's worked through or with, and she's spent thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars trying to get to the bottom of her health issues in her patterns and programming.
00:08:03:09 - 00:08:04:09
Grace
00:08:04:11 - 00:08:28:04
Filly
And something lovely that she does share is that our program is so supported, it's not just a course. You get so much one on one support and there's two options is a semi-private option where you receive monthly one on one consults or coaching sessions. With me. Plus we've got group sessions. You have unlimited email access to us so we can back and forth.
00:08:28:04 - 00:08:50:19
Filly
Coach you. You're getting so much individualised one on one support. Then we also have a private one on one option as well, which takes that up a notch. You're getting weekly coaching sessions, so it's definitely not just a course for information out you go in, heal yourself, you get you get held in our space of healing and transformation.
00:08:50:21 - 00:08:59:00
Filly
All right, enough of that. Let's jump over to today's podcast at.
00:08:59:02 - 00:09:30:18
Chris
All right guys, welcome to this episode of The Body Burnout Show. We have a very special guest today. We have Grace, one of our wonderful clients. As we introduce Grace to you, we'll be talking about her journey with us, with ending body burnout for herself and also her healing process, the stuff she's gone through. I'm excited to chat today and hopefully you guys enjoy what you're listening to.
00:09:30:20 - 00:09:37:14
Chris
So welcome, welcome, Grace to the ending buddy burnout show.
00:09:37:16 - 00:09:42:19
Grace
Thanks, Chris. It's lovely to be with you. And fully. Yeah! Yay!
00:09:42:19 - 00:09:48:03
Filly
We are so excited because we've just loved, loved working with you.
00:09:48:05 - 00:09:48:22
Grace
In all.
00:09:48:23 - 00:09:56:06
Filly
The ups and downs. And we'll be talking about all the ups and downs as we talk, which I think is really important.
00:09:56:08 - 00:09:56:14
Grace
For.
00:09:56:14 - 00:10:18:12
Filly
People to have a realistic expectation of. It's often not linear, it's not kind of like, do this and bang, you have the result. There's often a crucible period, a testing period where it's like, have you really got it? Have you really got it? Have you really got love and rapport and trust and deeply accept yourself? And I feel like that.
00:10:18:16 - 00:10:42:12
Filly
Yeah. That epitomises what happens throughout your journey and what will continue to happen as we evolve and grow. Sorry, you had already been on quite a big healing journey even before you reached out to us. Are you happy to kind of go back to, back when you got breast cancer and what was happening even before then as well?
00:10:42:14 - 00:11:07:02
Grace
Sure. Yeah. I was really blessed as a, as a kid. I was healthy through my teens, through my 20s. Like, yeah, no, ongoing health issues or even little niggles. I was just really healthy. And then in my 30s, I had my two babies in my mid 30s and people told me I was too old to be having kids.
00:11:07:02 - 00:11:28:23
Grace
But, you know, I had a great life and travelled and had a career and done lots before then. So everything, yeah, was fine, but after the kids and sleepless nights and lots of dramas with their health and even the deliveries and all of that kind of stuff, like many of the other women on your podcast, it was after kids.
00:11:29:00 - 00:11:53:11
Grace
Yeah. The things started to crumble for me. And I remember in my, early 40s, I was tired and I just felt tired and I had a lot of, PMS type symptoms. And I remember going to my GP, a female, and I said, look, I don't know, something. I'm just really tired. Could you just check and see everything's okay?
00:11:53:11 - 00:12:20:00
Grace
And I and she ran some bloods and she goes, everything looks normal. Everything's fine. You're just a working mum. All working moms are tired. And, you know, I've checked your breasts. They're lumpy and bumpy, but, you know, that's just part of life to just keep going. You're fine. So fast forward ten years, and next thing I know, yeah, I've still got lumpy, bumpy breast, but this time the lump was much harder.
00:12:20:01 - 00:12:47:22
Grace
I went, anyway, eventually, I was diagnosed with breast cancer now. And what? I was so shocked because, you know, other than feeling tired and reaching out to my GP, there was nothing else that I could point at. And I thought, how does a healthy body get breast cancer? This doesn't this doesn't make sense. And you know, and I oh my friend, you go, you can get breast cancer.
00:12:47:22 - 00:13:19:12
Grace
Anyone can get it. And like I've never been overweight I've never drank alcohol, I've never smoked, I ate well like and I breastfed both my kids forever. Like I did everything that I knew to do to prevent this happening. And here I am being, you know, living the nightmare, basically. And this, this really was difficult for me because, yeah, I, I worked at a university, I've got a research background and I just went, how does this happen?
00:13:19:14 - 00:13:42:04
Grace
And, you know, I did the research. I went, 1 in 8 women get breast cancer. And I go, okay, well, what's different about the one? Why does that one get it? But the other seven don't. Why aren't they researching into, you know, what's going on for that one? And I remember asking my medical oncologist send message and lots of questions and they go, you're making this too hard for yourself.
00:13:42:06 - 00:14:03:06
Grace
Just accept you've got it. You're unlucky. You're one of the unlucky ones. We don't know. Just do what we tell you and it'll all be over and you'll be okay. But you know, I just couldn't accept it. So after then I went on this ten, 12 year journey and I mean, it was a journey I, I did all sorts of tests.
00:14:03:06 - 00:14:23:04
Grace
So it was lots of integrative, GP's. I even travelled to the US and went to a integrative cancer treatment place, paid all this money, had always had some, and I was looking for the root cause because I thought, well, once I find that root cause and what caused this, then I can fix it and then I'll be okay.
00:14:23:06 - 00:14:50:22
Grace
So, you know, yeah, low vitamin like lots of things came up, I did I had low iodine, low vitamin D, low zinc. My hormones were all over the place. Low progesterone, high oestrogen. I had polymorphisms I'd check for gene gene problems and they explained and and and predicted that perhaps, you know, oestrogen metabolism was a problem for me and therefore breast cancer more likely.
00:14:51:00 - 00:15:01:17
Grace
And then I changed my diet. I changed the house I live in. I got rid of em. If I bought a far infrared sauna, I bought red light, like I went all out. And you would.
00:15:01:19 - 00:15:05:04
Filly
Like epitome of the health nut.
00:15:05:06 - 00:15:29:02
Grace
Exactly. And all my family around me was saying. And I even built a healthy home. I worked with builders and design power. I could turn electricity up to my bedroom at night. I checked the block before I bought it for EMF and, used low tax natural materials went above and beyond to get it right. You know, it was like I did everything else in life.
00:15:29:02 - 00:15:51:03
Grace
I got to get it right. I've got to do it properly. You know that all my family, I look around beside me going, you're crazy. You've caused me so, so much stress to prevent health problems. But all this stress you've created around getting it right and being healthy is going to kill you. What are we doing, you crazy lady?
00:15:51:06 - 00:16:19:11
Grace
But. But I didn't know how to do it differently. I knew how to do it the right way. And, you know, like Chris would say, you know, I got stuck up, I should create, I should I got to do that. I have to do this. And I was relentless. But now when I after doing a program and stepping back, I realised that I just put another load on my back and I just made a sign of for myself.
00:16:19:12 - 00:16:44:08
Grace
My intentions were good, but I was coming from a place of fear, not from a place of love. Yeah, but at the point I didn't know any other way to operate. And, you know, I'm not young now. I'm in my 60s now. So I've been running these programs and these patterns for 40 something years, and I. I'm pretty stubborn and I just didn't know what else to do.
00:16:44:09 - 00:16:47:15
Grace
So there you go. That's a little bit of a background. Look.
00:16:47:17 - 00:17:11:21
Filly
It's an awesome background because I feel like so many people will relate, especially for people who have been on this, this root cause journey for years and years and years and years. And I always wanted them as well, where it was driven from a place of fear and like prevention as well, but fear, massive amounts of fear and perfectionism patterns and going all in.
00:17:11:21 - 00:17:32:05
Filly
And it's just perpetuating the cycle of scariness like it's unsafe, it's unsafe. You have to go 110% and beyond, and therefore it keeps your brain and your unconscious mind in this constant trauma loop of like, it's not safe to be me. It's not safe to be in the world.
00:17:32:07 - 00:18:00:12
Grace
So yeah, and that was actually even before the breast cancer diagnosis, my whole, focus in life had been prevention, you know, like as a teenager. People said, oh, why don't you do medicine? Like, I was interested in health. I've always been fascinated with human body and health and people said, Grace, why don't you get into, medicine, you know, and and I went, no, I don't want to be a doctor.
00:18:00:12 - 00:18:24:03
Grace
The fit fixes people when they're already sick or a pharmacist that already works for some of them. And they said, I want to prevent health problems. So that's what made it hard for me, because I'd been on the prevention bandwagon from my mid-teens through my 20s, my training, my work, my career was in preventive health. And so that was just another load when I got this diagnosis.
00:18:24:03 - 00:18:37:20
Grace
Like what that it didn't work, your prevention didn't work. And once again, that was another way. Again, you know, it was just like, oh no. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah.
00:18:37:22 - 00:19:08:03
Filly
Sorry. Okay. Now we're going to dig into deeper patterns around that a little bit later. But just to keep it in a bit of a timeline. So then you reached out to us. So what was the what was the thing for you. Because I remember when you did reach out, you were kind of like, yeah, I got some things going on, but like a pretty healthy what was the thing that was the pain that you were feeling that made you reach out and say, In Filly, I need help.
00:19:08:05 - 00:19:40:19
Grace
I was stuck. I didn't actually reach out to you for physical problems. I, I listened to a couple of interviews. Filly, we, Damon had had you on his podcast, and I listened to you, and I went, oh, she sounds like me. She was pushing, driving, a perfectionist, overdoing. I was placing wow. That's me. And then when you came back on the second interview and they've been such changes and improvements, I went, wow, she can do it.
00:19:40:21 - 00:20:04:17
Grace
Maybe I can do it. Maybe this is the missing piece. Instead of focusing on so much on the physical stuff, maybe I need to focus more on, yeah, the metaphysical and my mindset and how I view the world. Because at that point, when I reached out, I was frustrated, I was annoyed, I was angry at everybody for not doing the right thing and blaming others.
00:20:04:17 - 00:20:31:03
Grace
And, I wasn't happy and I was exhausted. And I tell you. You know, overdoing, being overly responsible for 40 plus years, it's a tiring, hard journey. But that's all I knew. I just kept pushing. I felt like I was running up a hill with a massive backpack on. You know, in this backpack. Chris, you'll laugh at me, but it was full of that.
00:20:31:03 - 00:20:51:03
Grace
I've got to. I should I have to be responsible. That's that's my job. I got to fix it. Oh, how did that happen? Why didn't you prevent that? What? That's so new. Like this weight? And but every morning, I just get up and put the same silly backpack on and try and get a bit further up the hill, like, that's how I felt.
00:20:51:05 - 00:21:14:01
Grace
I just was always pushing, always doing, trying to fix problems and other people around me. And I became quite, hyper vigilant. I think I was on edge. I was always looking to what could go wrong next. I'm thinking it was my responsibility to prevent it, and if I could prevent it, then at least I surely should fix it.
00:21:14:01 - 00:21:37:10
Grace
Like everything was on me. And it's a pretty. It's like being in a prison. It's and it's, it's it was tough. So that was really why I reached out. Because I think I'd heard enough. And I listened to your podcast and I remember, you know, Chris saying that, you know, complaining is silly. You just, you know, focusing on your problems and trying to blame other people.
00:21:37:10 - 00:21:48:00
Grace
You're responsible. You're responsible. You need to take ownership. And I'm going. You've really got up my nose, Chris. When I first interacted with you and challenge me so much.
00:21:48:02 - 00:21:48:08
Chris
That's.
00:21:48:08 - 00:22:16:20
Grace
Awesome. How dare you say that to me? That wasn't my fault. That was a silly plumber. And it wasn't the plumber. I was a builder. How dare we say that was on me? But it made me stop and think. And I went, you know what? Yeah. Anyway, so that was why I reached out. But prior to that, about eight months before I reached out to you for the first time in my life, I had severe vertigo and it just came from nowhere.
00:22:16:20 - 00:22:41:08
Grace
After a dentist visit, having my neck extended in the dentist chair for 45 minutes or something. Then in the middle of the night, the world was spinning. I couldn't stand up. I was vomiting, diarrhoea. It would, it was. I'd never experienced anything like it. And it came, I didn't understand, and for six months it was horrendous. And I lost my independence.
00:22:41:08 - 00:23:00:05
Grace
I couldn't be left on my own. I had to, I couldn't drive, I had to have someone with me. Like some days I've been 17 hours in bed. Because bed was the safest place. Because I could shut the world out and everything was quiet and calm. But then it even happened a few times in the middle of the night when I was asleep.
00:23:00:05 - 00:23:27:08
Grace
I'd wake up and it would hit me and so that was really, really difficult. But I had, when I reached out to you, I'd found, vestibular physio and done some work on my neck, and things seem to have improved. So I didn't actually even reach out to you because of that. I reached out because I was just not very happy and exhausted and sick of my life, basically.
00:23:27:08 - 00:23:31:09
Grace
And I, I thought, if Philip can do it, maybe I can change it.
00:23:31:11 - 00:23:57:19
Filly
We've both got days we could do it. Now, can I just because I think that this is really important. So when you said, came out of nowhere, it didn't actually because there was a pattern where you started some coaching to dig into some things. And then the vestibular migraines came like the onset sort of happened around the same time as the dentist appointment.
00:23:57:21 - 00:24:08:02
Filly
And then when you started working with us and we started with going into the root cause, not just the root cause, we're going to the root root cause then your body kind of freaked out again.
00:24:08:02 - 00:24:19:13
Grace
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I, I was in remission when I started working with you, but then when I started working with you, then it flared up again. Yes, exactly.
00:24:19:18 - 00:24:25:14
Filly
Okay. Now, if someone's listening, that might feel like, Holy crap, I'm not.
00:24:25:16 - 00:24:26:09
Grace
I'm not going.
00:24:26:09 - 00:24:26:18
Filly
Into the.
00:24:26:18 - 00:24:29:03
Grace
Root. Root. Cause what if I get worse?
00:24:29:05 - 00:24:46:08
Filly
It wasn't necessarily that you got worse. It was that it was like, grace, you going to solve this issue? And we're going to make sure that you get signals that it loud enough that you can't run away.
00:24:46:10 - 00:24:55:17
Grace
Yeah, yeah, they definitely live very, very loud. And I couldn't ignore them. I couldn't ignore them. Yeah.
00:24:55:19 - 00:25:19:21
Filly
Okay. So so the first step often with our clients is we get we start off with more body systems. It's like all right let's, let's get some some bodily specimens, some two way or spit maybe blood. And let's have a look into the body. Now, you've already done so many functional lab testing and genetic testing and everything before you met with us.
00:25:19:23 - 00:25:44:15
Filly
So that phase at the ending body out method, I did suggest a couple of things. Are you happy to just speak into what was found on your test results, how it made you feel, how it made sense to what was going on. So there was we did adrenal testing in organic acid tests that look at the brain detox pathways, mitochondria.
00:25:44:17 - 00:26:07:21
Grace
Yeah. I, I haven't done an organic acid test before, despite the numerous other tests I've done. So I was kind of fascinated to see what would show up. And I it came back saying that, yeah, I had stage one adrenal fatigue, which kind of made straight, made sense because I had been so stressed for so long.
00:26:07:21 - 00:26:35:20
Grace
So, you know, when my cortisol levels were really high that that made sense. I was hyper vigilant, I couldn't relax, I was go, go, go, go. So it all all made sense. Except often with, adrenal stuff, people start feeling low energy. But I didn't actually I would I wouldn't have said that I had low energy, but really I was masking it.
00:26:35:22 - 00:27:05:07
Grace
I was medicating it because I was drinking copious amounts of tea, caffeinated tea, and that's how I would get through my day. So I 4 or 5 cups of tea and then I'd, you know, put hot water in the tea leaves and go again. And so I realised that, yeah, my energy, my real energy levels were probably lower than I was experiencing because I was bumping them up with the caffeine.
00:27:05:09 - 00:27:26:21
Grace
I think it came back. I had live vitamin B, which would also make sense because of the high stress levels. Low serotonin popped up and you know, and my mood I guess the anxiousness just not being happy with in life, I think that all made sense to and then I think and Candida overgrowth showed up.
00:27:26:21 - 00:27:36:23
Grace
But that surprised me because I didn't have any symptoms of any gut symptoms that I was aware of at all. So that one surprised me. Feeling the others all made perfect. Perfect sense.
00:27:36:23 - 00:27:44:15
Filly
Yeah. I mean, Candida can. Yeah. Classic, classic symptoms would be you've got thrush. Have you got a really white tongue or.
00:27:44:17 - 00:27:46:03
Grace
Fungal.
00:27:46:05 - 00:28:03:20
Filly
Growths on your skin. But it can have so much, neroli in your effect on the brain as well. So it can it's like very inflammatory. So it has been linked to things like anxiety, depression, brain fog, all that sort of stuff.
00:28:03:22 - 00:28:06:02
Grace
Oh, really? I had no idea. Oh, did I.
00:28:06:02 - 00:28:09:10
Filly
Not tell you that part?
00:28:09:12 - 00:28:20:17
Grace
And it's probably I was probably talking about something else I like. I, I thought, you know, been doing the treatment. But okay. So that's the anxiety as well.
00:28:20:19 - 00:28:48:07
Filly
Yeah. Okay. Now for you though. So, so yes. So we started supporting those areas of the body for exactly what you needed. But I think the, the biggest thing that made the biggest difference for you is really diving into what we call the root, the root root cause, the greatest fear that you have about yourself, the unkind beliefs you've created and the patterns that are stemming from there, which essentially is what causes body systems to burn out.
00:28:48:13 - 00:28:59:15
Filly
And for health symptoms or mental health symptoms or just pain in life to show up. Shall we go there? What did you discover?
00:28:59:17 - 00:30:01:23
Grace
Stuff. What I discovered was that I had this deep, dysfunctional belief that I was selfish and irresponsible. And when, like, there was when I remember the incident that happened, like, I. Wow. Like, I had never thought of that before. I had no idea that this was under there. And that's what was driving me. But it made sense, because I think I've spent most of my life trying to prove to myself and prove to everybody else that I am caring and I am responsible, you know, but I went overboard for it because I if because I believed deep down that, you know, if I unselfish and responsible, then I have to even go
00:30:01:23 - 00:30:28:13
Grace
above and beyond to prove I'm more than just caring. Like I went to over caring. I became I was looking after everybody and everything and and as far as responsible goes, I once again, I just became overly responsible. I used to refer to myself as the responsible, simple one. And I think my kids, my family, everyone just said, all right, we'll do it.
00:30:28:15 - 00:30:58:01
Grace
So fix it. You know, and then it become my identity. So much of who I was was wrapped up in what I did, and and but the doing was coming from. Yeah. An unkind place. And when I went back and reviewed that, incident, I wasn't selfish and I wasn't irresponsible. I can't I'm not responsible for other people's choices and actions.
00:30:58:01 - 00:31:19:05
Grace
And in this case, an accident happened. I was involved, but it wasn't my choice. Like, that person made a choice. And there's no way as an adult, I could have been, you know, I could see that I wasn't responsible. But as a little kid, I thought it was on me. And, you know, I guess that was so deep.
00:31:19:05 - 00:31:31:23
Grace
Even I didn't realise. It's okay. Or pulls. Anyway, so, can are you happy.
00:31:31:23 - 00:31:53:00
Filly
To share the incident? Because I think this is important. Because when people start doing this work, or even if they're just listening to our podcasts or whatever, they kind of say, like, we get this a lot, but I didn't have big, like, I wasn't abused. I didn't grow up in a domestic, violent relationship, like a lot of people feel like they discount the stuff that's happened in their childhood.
00:31:53:00 - 00:31:57:21
Filly
If they haven't experienced what people call big trauma.
00:31:57:23 - 00:32:20:09
Grace
Yeah, and I hadn't experienced big city trauma, and I wouldn't have even thought this event was traumatic. But when I was working through the timeline that you asked me to do, actually, I talked to my mum about this incident and she goes, what are you asking these questions for? This is no big deal. Nothing happened. I didn't have to take you to hospital.
00:32:20:11 - 00:32:30:07
Grace
What do you remember too much? What are you talking about? Wait, what? She doesn't even remember the detention. So I'm so.
00:32:30:09 - 00:32:38:00
Filly
So sorry for the listeners. Yeah, yeah. Just like the little incident that happened. It was. Your sister got burnt.
00:32:38:02 - 00:33:01:22
Grace
Yeah. So I was about, I don't know, I think maybe 6 or 7. And my little sister, probably would have been if I was six. My sister was maybe two or something like that. And I decided that I just wanted to go and have some alone time. I wanted to do some drawing or writing or doing something just for myself.
00:33:01:22 - 00:33:24:22
Grace
Right. I had three siblings. I was the eldest, and so there was always people and other kids around. So I went into, the van drew. We shared a bedroom and I shut the door, but the door handle was high and I was smart enough to know my little sister wouldn't be able to reach it. So my little sister was not happy.
00:33:24:22 - 00:33:44:20
Grace
She started ranting and raving and being angry. And then she went and I wouldn't let her in. And so then she went and got a felt pin and a marker and scribbled all over the door. And then when my mum saw it, mum said, Linda, you go and clean that off. That's a mess. You shouldn't have done that.
00:33:44:20 - 00:34:08:06
Grace
Go and clean it off. And my little sister, I yeah, she went into the bathroom and we had a deep bath and she turned on the hot tap and anyway, it was boiling hot water. We didn't have it, you know, thermoregulation back in those days. And she fell in under the hot water to trying to wet the cloth that she had to clean the door.
00:34:08:12 - 00:34:21:11
Grace
She fell in and and yeah, the hot water burnt her. And I remember the scream as she then jumped out of the bath and ripped off her shirt, but she ripped off all the steam.
00:34:21:12 - 00:34:21:18
Chris
After.
00:34:21:19 - 00:34:43:22
Grace
That. And I remember being in the other room, you know, doing my selfish drawing and hearing the screams, and I just felt like, you've done this if if you hadn't been so selfish and wanted that time on your own, this never would have happened. And you know it's your fault. And you, you weren't responsible. You were all the why didn't you prevent this?
00:34:43:22 - 00:35:05:19
Grace
You could have you could have prevented this whole incident. And so that's where it happened, I think. Yes. And and then going into the room was it was just self-care. And I can look back now and say that's reasonable. Everyone needs some time on their own. And it wasn't really selfish. But as a young kid I went, oh, how selfish were you?
00:35:05:19 - 00:35:09:07
Grace
Why couldn't you have a little sister mean whatever, you know.
00:35:09:09 - 00:35:12:02
Filly
And then bad, bad person you are.
00:35:12:04 - 00:35:20:23
Grace
Yeah, yeah. So and that explains so much of my over caring and over responsibility. Yeah.
00:35:21:01 - 00:35:22:02
Filly
Yeah. Wow.
00:35:22:02 - 00:35:55:22
Chris
Can I, can I point something out that I've noticed. This is this is a criticism. It's not backed at all. But it's so, so common. I can't help but notice it so many times over caring over doing over. Perfection. This over nurturing and breast illness, breast cancer. I've noticed this so many times, I've,
00:35:56:00 - 00:36:35:06
Chris
I'm not. Maybe this can be my PhD. Whatever. But I've noticed that so many times over, caring, over nurturing and breast. Yeah, it's it's so common. And it just doesn't surprise me that that that this happens now I almost wait for it to, to be brought up. And, and then we tie that back, it's like, okay, that's a data point, but and then a significant emotional event not, not a, not a big trauma perhaps, but but a significant emotional event.
00:36:35:08 - 00:37:00:23
Chris
The self-care is selfish. And then you prove and you adopt the pattern of proving, defending. No, I am caring, I am caring, I am caring, I am responsible, I'm nurture, nurture, nurture and you give and you care. And then it just becomes like cancer. It's it's so common.
00:37:01:01 - 00:37:01:15
Grace
And then if.
00:37:01:15 - 00:37:23:11
Filly
You fast forward to then when you started getting the vestibular migraines and stuff as well, it's like you know what. Let's actually give us something that's going to put her into bed, put her into bed so that she literally can't look after anyone else because she's in survival mode. It's kind of like it's the unconscious state is so clever.
00:37:23:11 - 00:37:44:13
Filly
It sounds it sounds like it's nasty, but it's actually the most loving thing that your unconscious mind could have done for you, because it's like you are exhausted. You would seek out running those patterns. You weren't happy. And it's like, great. So let's like, put her into bed. So she's going to solve this once and for all.
00:37:44:15 - 00:38:14:21
Grace
Yeah, because I couldn't do anything. And in the end, I think feeling you helped me realise that, that maybe this was a gift that, you know, I could actually lie in bed, and that's okay. And you know what? The wheel didn't fall apart. And, you know, both my children got married during that year. It seems ironical.
00:38:14:21 - 00:38:35:04
Grace
But to you, you know, most mums get so involved in weddings in preparation and or you know what, I didn't even know if I'd make it to the way it's like will I be able to stand up it it was so their two weddings were incredibly stress free. So amazing. Mum, I couldn't do anything. They didn't ask anything on me.
00:38:35:04 - 00:39:04:04
Grace
It was like, wow, I get to just hopefully show up on the day. Yeah. But that was so counter to what I normally would have. They also thought was my responsibility, you know. So so that was that was pretty cool. And weddings were beautiful and miraculously my subconscious let me go. Yeah, I got both weddings and it was it was wonderful.
00:39:04:06 - 00:39:26:17
Grace
A few days when I was back in bed, but I got to both the weddings and it wasn't stressful, you know, like, as far as responsibility, my only responsibility was to, you know, show up basically, and enjoy the day. And it was so nice. And my kids are so capable. And I, when they don't actually, they didn't need me.
00:39:26:17 - 00:39:43:01
Grace
They did it probably. Well, why did each of their wedding two was so individual and it was them instead of, you know, the the bearing mother. And I certainly didn't want to be the, bearing mother in law. So that was a way to just get me off on a good foot with both. Then, family members. Yeah.
00:39:43:01 - 00:39:44:23
Grace
That's so cool.
00:39:45:01 - 00:40:09:17
Filly
Okay, so so it's a pretty big journey to get to fit someone to dive only in scary or challenging. Or it's only like you breaking through so much resistance to be able to uncover the deepest root cause. But the journey doesn't stop there, because now it's like, okay, like, if it stopped there, then that's just that's that's a nightmare in and of itself.
00:40:09:20 - 00:40:10:08
Filly
Because it's like.
00:40:10:08 - 00:40:11:22
Grace
Now I know, but I've still.
00:40:11:22 - 00:40:33:07
Filly
Got all this dysfunction. So the next step is then let's rewire and reprogramme. It's first and foremost this deepest belief, which then enables you to rewire patterns and literally turn off pain signals, whether it's physical or mental, emotional. Can you share what that journey looks like for you?
00:40:33:09 - 00:41:00:08
Grace
Yeah. I think. One of the most significant turning points in the journey for me was, when I did, TTP with you, you feel it? I know I had to do a lot of work before you would allow me to do that, and I understand why, like going back through my timeline, my history, uncovering, you know, that dysfunctional belief.
00:41:00:10 - 00:41:07:04
Grace
And I was a little bit, kind of unsure about TTP.
00:41:07:06 - 00:41:16:02
Filly
So just for the listeners, that's a specific trauma therapy process that we take people through after they've gone through what we call the reckoning phase.
00:41:16:04 - 00:41:46:22
Grace
Yeah, yeah. And, and so after, you know, it's a bit unsure, but because I developed a rapport with you fully and I, I trusted you, and I felt safe to do go through the process with you. It was, it was, it was a turning point because I realised after doing that that I had felt unsafe in my own body for so long.
00:41:47:00 - 00:42:13:20
Grace
And, you know, the hyper vigilance, the being overwhelmed, the fact that I couldn't rest, the patterns, the pushing, all of that, it kind of thing made sense. And I thought, this is all because I haven't felt safe in my own body. And after after the TR to P, I just felt much calmer. And, I was kind of to myself.
00:42:13:20 - 00:42:45:21
Grace
I didn't beat myself up when things didn't go according to plan or and then I had five weeks completely symptom free following TTP. It was almost like a magic switch and being turned off. You know, the whole vestibular stuff just was off. And I had five weeks and I went, wow, maybe this stuff doesn't work. Maybe there is some real truth to this.
00:42:45:21 - 00:42:58:17
Grace
Look what's happening. And I didn't have to push and I didn't have to work hard. It just it just it was unbelievable. I was so excited, so cool. But,
00:42:58:19 - 00:43:01:08
Filly
And then what happened? Did it? It did.
00:43:01:10 - 00:43:03:07
Chris
But then.
00:43:03:09 - 00:43:11:09
Grace
Yeah, exactly. It didn't last. And I remember, It didn't last.
00:43:11:10 - 00:43:22:02
Filly
It didn't last in that your vestibular stuff came back. There was this deep, stiff stuff that had been shifted from the past. Yes, but there was still some work to do.
00:43:22:04 - 00:43:49:05
Grace
Yes. Yeah. And I think, in discussing it with you. Yeah. So I, you know, the nausea and, and, dizziness and back in bed, those things came back. And then I remember talking to you fully and, and realised that, you know, some of my old patterns had crept back. And because I was feeling so good and guess what I did, I let's do, oh, let's do more.
00:43:49:05 - 00:44:24:08
Grace
And I was back, you know, doing lots of stuff because I felt so good. And it was like, yeah. So once again, it was a bit of a. Yeah. And enforced time to review. And so once again, I, had to just surrender and go, okay, it's time to go back and rest and surrender and trust this process, trust my body and keep reprogramming and working on my, subconscious and my patterning and.
00:44:24:10 - 00:44:48:13
Grace
It was good to talk to you through that period because, you do need support. Like, you can't do this stuff on your own. I, I used to really, hang off, you know, I loved our chats every month, and I'd write it everything down and then revisit what you'd say, and I go, okay, healing isn't, the flick of a switch or a straight line in a trajectory.
00:44:48:13 - 00:45:07:16
Grace
It's a spiral. You go up, you come back, and then you have to embed those lessons and go forward again. And so, yeah, I did learn it. It wasn't easy, but I did learn to surrender. And my body kind through it was it was amazing. Yeah.
00:45:07:18 - 00:45:32:01
Filly
So cool. I just love that. I mean, I've experienced that for myself as well. If anyone listening has listened to a lot of our podcasts, I've there was one where I talked about the magic moment, my histamine and like, gut issues completely switched off. When I say that, it doesn't mean that it didn't come back as like a little signal, but it's like, oh, oh, okay.
00:45:32:01 - 00:45:46:00
Filly
So there's like some deep love and trust being built here, but it's kind of like the testing phase where the unconscious mind is like, okay, yeah, I'm wanting to trust you. I think I can. Yep. I'm like maybe 70% there, but.
00:45:46:02 - 00:45:48:13
Grace
If you just did that thing or you just.
00:45:48:13 - 00:46:08:07
Filly
Had that thought pattern or you or that behaviour that you said that you would never do again, it's popped up again. And so it's like you, your whole system is working for you to help you move into the next version of yourself that allows you to have more of what you want. And I just think it's so clever.
00:46:08:07 - 00:46:19:09
Filly
It's so clever, and it's good for people to hear that as well, because if someone has a bit of a flare up or they have gone like, wow, I've been symptom free and this is working and like, oh my.
00:46:19:09 - 00:46:21:13
Grace
Gosh, I'm healed.
00:46:21:13 - 00:46:43:04
Filly
And then all of a sudden it's like, bang, something flares up. That's not a sign that you haven't done the work. It's also not a sign of going backwards. It's just purely the testing phase. And or you've moved into a new level of growth where there's like who haven't been this type of person before. How am I going to live my life now?
00:46:43:05 - 00:46:50:19
Filly
And it's always like you, system's always helping you to move into alignment with self.
00:46:50:21 - 00:46:52:10
Grace
Yeah, yeah.
00:46:52:12 - 00:46:54:09
Filly
That's so cool. Thanks for sharing that.
00:46:54:10 - 00:47:32:15
Grace
So so I had that for five weeks and then, you know, took a while again. But then I had 71 days completely symptom free following that feeling. So five weeks ended right back then. But I've had longer now and had 71 days where I was completely, completely symptom free. Yeah. So yeah. Can I, just say that one thing that I think really, really helped was, once again, it was your good advice.
00:47:32:15 - 00:48:02:18
Grace
Really. And actually, you said many times, not to focus on what I didn't want, but to focus on what I did want and that, my body would follow my mind, and I, for the first 18 months of the vestibular stuff, I had been recording the symptoms. What I was doing, was I bending down? Was I in the garden or was I watching something on TV?
00:48:02:18 - 00:48:26:09
Grace
Wasn't my the computer scrolling, trying to figure out what was triggering it for the specialist? Like, I went to entities, I went to vestibular fitness, I did all sorts or all sorts of practitioners, but I thought if they didn't have a record, how on earth would they ever be able to figure out what was going on? Because people didn't really get my stuff.
00:48:26:09 - 00:48:57:06
Grace
That was so violent that it was so strong, and my GP would say, just look in the distance and tell yourself you're safe and it will go away. Load of rubbish. I couldn't even stand up, I could, I couldn't keep my eyes open. The only safe thing to do was shut my eyes and lie down. But it in trying to help people understand the severity and I was the researcher in me again, I was looking for the links.
00:48:57:07 - 00:49:20:05
Grace
I had 18 months worth of data and I would meticulously record it. I've got this document that's so long. And then you said and Chris, you kept saying it into call. Stop focusing on what you don't want. So then I went, okay, I have had 18 months of meticulously recording everything. I don't want, and none of the medical people or professionals I've seen.
00:49:20:07 - 00:49:30:13
Grace
I've even bothered. Most of them didn't even bother bother to read it again. One secret out I was so annoyed. Anyway, don't get me going.
00:49:30:15 - 00:49:33:05
Filly
We've played so many drama.
00:49:33:07 - 00:49:43:12
Grace
Exactly. That's what I'm like. You know, when people don't do the right thing. I am a chicken. So we do all these record keeping them that don't even read it. How dare they? All right.
00:49:43:14 - 00:49:44:22
Chris
Awesome.
00:49:45:00 - 00:49:51:02
Grace
So then I read the line in my diary. It's still in my diary. I drew the line across and went over the line.
00:49:51:02 - 00:49:52:22
Filly
Across the sand.
00:49:53:00 - 00:50:17:05
Grace
Yes, a line in the sand. Bullet. One of your good songs that you often get mixed up. But anyway. And I it in my diary. And you know what? From that day on, I do not record the negative symptoms. I recorded the good days, the days of to be grateful for. And so in that first, from that day on, there were 25 days in that month.
00:50:17:05 - 00:50:51:04
Grace
So that first month I had 12 good days out of 25. The next month I had 27 out of 30. The next month cycle 31 had a 31. It was like, wow, maybe my brain, my body is going to follow my right. And it was like, it was amazing. And it can continue. Yeah. Until I, had some really intense vestibular testing at the hospital.
00:50:51:05 - 00:51:12:14
Grace
But it was it was just just it was data. It was absolute data. I was stopped recording the symptoms, the negative symptoms and recorded the good days. And it it changed. Yeah. And the only other thing I did during that time was I was working with a good chiropractor, for my neck, but but yeah, the data spoke for itself.
00:51:12:16 - 00:51:54:08
Grace
It was unbelievable. So I knew so comp plus the changing of my mindset and focusing on what I wanted and I didn't want, absolute surrendering and the surrendering and telling my body that I am safe. And, you know, and it's safe for my body to heal. And it's safe for me to be balanced and calm and grounded and steady like, yeah, I kept doing all that work in the background and that, you know, I choose to know, that it's safe for me to be responsible for my own choices, you know, like, they only a little changes.
00:51:54:08 - 00:51:57:23
Grace
But, yeah, I kept working on those on the on the line.
00:51:58:01 - 00:52:00:02
Filly
Oh, yeah. I love that.
00:52:00:02 - 00:52:04:14
Grace
So cool. So cool. What do you.
00:52:04:14 - 00:52:10:23
Filly
Feel is different to our ending body burn out method?
00:52:11:01 - 00:52:30:20
Grace
Okay, well, the biggest difference is you look at the root. Root cause I'd, you know, I'd spent ten plus years pushing really hard trying to get that root cause. Right. But but I was doing the same thing. It was the same pushing, driving in the approach. And, and.
00:52:30:20 - 00:52:46:01
Filly
It was more like outside of you two, it's like, gotta get the environment right. Got to get rid of the toxins, got to take the right supplements, got to do X, Y and Z. Got to make sure my nutrition is right. So that's kind of like the root cause. But the root root causes inside of you.
00:52:46:02 - 00:53:14:19
Grace
Yes. And so so that's what made the difference. And those questions about why I did what I did, you know, what drove my behaviour, what beliefs were underneath there. So so that made all the difference because then that's what was driving the whole thing. Like driving the burnout in the first year. This is this machine underneath that I hadn't really realised was so powerful.
00:53:14:21 - 00:53:46:05
Grace
Yeah, it was driving everything. So the other thing that I, I would like to say about the ending body burnout method that is being different from that's obviously the main, main difference. And, it's what sent me what I needed. But the other thing, on a practical level, I have done many courses, I have spent money on lots of courses, and the thing that I really liked, I thought I had to fix it.
00:53:46:05 - 00:54:09:17
Grace
Chris. I had to fix it. What it depicts, you know, what's it like? The more I knew, the more knowledge I had, the more testing I did. You know, surely, I'd be able to fix it. Yeah. But the big the thing that I really, really liked was your little ten, 15 minute videos. They were short. They were into, you know, they were dying.
00:54:09:19 - 00:54:11:02
Grace
That was going to be no joke to you.
00:54:11:02 - 00:54:12:18
Filly
You're in there.
00:54:12:20 - 00:54:20:06
Grace
I find Chris, I find Chris entertaining. I find him annoying sometimes, but he's also very entertaining.
00:54:20:08 - 00:54:22:05
Chris
I think everybody.
00:54:22:07 - 00:54:22:12
Grace
Will.
00:54:22:12 - 00:54:23:08
Chris
Say he's.
00:54:23:09 - 00:54:25:19
Filly
An annoying.
00:54:25:21 - 00:54:38:06
Chris
But my my whole life, that's. He lies. Chris billet dead. And we gather at his funeral. The most annoying person that was entertaining.
00:54:38:07 - 00:55:08:19
Grace
Sorry. I need to laugh. I need to laugh. And. Yeah, you were great, Chris. But. So the two of you doing it together, I thought that was a lovely balance. But the fact that I would just short 10 to 15 minute little videos was great. It was an information overload. But the biggest thing was, was the outlet, because that made me apply what I'd heard to myself.
00:55:08:21 - 00:55:33:22
Grace
I had to. I had to, think about it. I had to look at myself and what I was doing. My patterns, my beliefs, my style, the courses I've done, they it's just information overload and like, it gets so much information downloaded and I assume that if you've got the information, then you're going to change and life will be fixed, but they don't.
00:55:34:00 - 00:55:53:20
Grace
That was the key for me, that having to apply and knowing that you would read it and you would comment and you would give me some input that that was a great learning process just to pay for an online course. And I've already got all the material up and you just have to read through, copy submit that that doesn't change anything.
00:55:53:20 - 00:56:13:21
Grace
And that's what's wrong a lot with the health model. We think that if people know how to eat healthy or if people know about toxic products, knowledge will then empower them. They'll make changes and they'll be okay. Yeah, but it's more than just knowledge, Dom. And that's what I really appreciated about, your method.
00:56:13:23 - 00:56:15:10
Filly
Thank you.
00:56:15:12 - 00:56:16:08
Grace
Can a little.
00:56:16:08 - 00:56:42:15
Filly
Bit of a segue but maybe not because I remember our loss console. You had some really cool insights around genetics which also came after listening to our podcast on genetics. Yes. Are you happy to share that because you'd been so fixated on past lab tests, especially like the polymorphisms and the genetic mutations and X, Y, and Z? And what was the light bulb moment for you?
00:56:42:16 - 00:56:45:17
Filly
Was it that you can switch them off?
00:56:45:19 - 00:57:23:07
Grace
Yeah. Like I, I heard about Bruce Lipton. I knew about his work and I knew about epigenetics and I knew environment and the way he thought all those things could change, your genes. But for some reason, I had thought that was like the big diseases, like coeliac or, you know, diseases like that. I didn't realise it was all the little genes that you get from your parents and I and, you know, I did all the gene testing and, Comt and C1, P1, which is a gene that helps metabolise oestrogen.
00:57:23:09 - 00:57:43:18
Grace
Both of those two genetic polymorphisms gave an explanation for my poor metabolism of oestrogen and setting me up for breast cancer. So I thought it's in the genes. That's what I've been dealt. So then I was type supplements to try and support and help that. And I don't know why. I didn't understand that they could be switched off.
00:57:43:18 - 00:58:10:00
Grace
Just like, you know, the pig disease genes. I, I just thought, well, they're the genes I've got. That's just what you've got to work with. But it wasn't until your podcast I went, oh, hang on a minute. Even those ones can get switched off, so I don't have to be on these supplements forever. I know broken, I just need to stay safe in my own body and not being in fight or flight and everything will calm down.
00:58:10:00 - 00:58:14:14
Grace
And then my body can go into rest, digest and heal. Yeah.
00:58:14:16 - 00:58:15:08
Filly
I love it.
00:58:15:08 - 00:58:16:08
Grace
So what?
00:58:16:10 - 00:58:20:02
Filly
What does life look like now?
00:58:20:04 - 00:58:46:00
Grace
What does life look like now? I am I am much calmer and I'm much more aware of my state before. If anything, you know, just have another cup of tea and push through it. Whereas now I find that I'm checking in and going do I feel safe? Do I feel calm and confident? You know, what stories am I telling myself?
00:58:46:00 - 00:59:09:07
Grace
Why am I getting triggered? Because, you know, the guy left my mate in the sun. What's going on? And I didn't need that. Why didn't you do that properly? Because these things pop up for me all the time. When people don't do the right thing, you know, thing. But now I've got strategies and, things in my toolkit that I can help regulate myself.
00:59:09:09 - 00:59:33:02
Grace
And so I'm much kinder to myself. Instead of beating myself up when if something goes wrong going, oh, this you could. Other people have choices and decisions that wasn't really on you. And then, as Chris kept reminding me about the guy that left my mate in the sun, you know, man, don't assume everything is about malice. You know, maybe.
00:59:33:04 - 00:59:35:16
Grace
What's to say, Chris?
00:59:35:18 - 00:59:51:16
Chris
Hanlon's razor. So don't attribute to malice what could be adequately attributed to either, incompetence or, What's that? What's that word where they're not thinking about you?
00:59:51:18 - 00:59:52:05
Grace
Oh, yeah.
00:59:52:05 - 01:00:01:05
Chris
It's. I think it's stupidity, but, Yeah, when someone's not thinking about you, what are they doing?
01:00:01:07 - 01:00:03:15
Filly
And thoughtful. Insensitive.
01:00:03:15 - 01:00:09:18
Chris
Okay. Yeah. Obliviousness. I forget the word crikey or whatever, but.
01:00:09:18 - 01:00:31:14
Grace
Even that really helped me. Like, I have many of your things going round around in my head first, and that was one of them. So when things go wrong now using the a process that you also taught, taught us, you know, being away, understanding and then re reframing and then, you know, accepting what you can't change and, and doing and being responsible for what it can.
01:00:31:14 - 01:00:49:20
Grace
That has helped me so much because I go, okay, normally I just get angry and upset at the guy out there for leaving the meeting. What an idiot. Why the heck didn't he? And I know he just probably is incompetent and wasn't thinking. But don't get angry and upset and let him rob you of your peace that you're safe.
01:00:49:20 - 01:01:11:11
Grace
Everything's okay, you know. Don't don't I? That's another thing. I'm. No, don't give away you, pal. I gave my pal away so often, getting angry and irritated and upset at other people. They were oblivious. They didn't even know. But that pulls me out of being safe and calm and in that healing state. And that's something else I've learnt.
01:01:11:11 - 01:01:40:05
Grace
I didn't realise that being annoyed or frustrated at my husband or, you know, the meat delivery guy or whatever, that that's actually a form of just feeling unsafe. And when this is brain was growing, unsafe, unsafe, unsafe, whereas I just felt I was frustrated and annoyed a lot. Do you know what I mean? I didn't realise that that was damaging my health because I was in that fight flight state and I spent my life not so much running away, but fighting.
01:01:40:07 - 01:02:03:19
Grace
Yeah, you know, fighting. Everybody fighting everything. This is one, right? How did I, you know, but that's exhausting to, Yeah. So I don't know if I answered your question, but I have even been able to relax. And and being it, I know, it's like I've seen. Well, Dave, how dare you? Relax. I'm doing nothing.
01:02:03:20 - 01:02:05:19
Chris
There's so much to do.
01:02:05:21 - 01:02:27:17
Grace
I don't think you want to. He's not being really crazy to show how how caught up in this I was. I remember my sister saying to me on New Year's Eve. She said, what are you New Year's resolutions going to be for the coming year? And I looked at my sister and I went, you know what? This year also want to do is catch up and feel like I'm on top of everything.
01:02:27:19 - 01:02:52:07
Grace
What was it? Oh, woman, that show me how my life felt like, you know, carrying this heavy backpack uphill forever. I just caught up with my to do list. I never I never caught up. And my husband would always say to me, we were made to be human beings, not human doings. When are you going to stop.
01:02:52:07 - 01:03:14:07
Grace
When are you going to sit down and rest? Whereas to me he just sat and rested and did nothing most of the time. So it was like this. Even now I've gone, it took him. Rest is okay. He's here. I mean, he rest way more than you know. Most people, but that's okay. So. And I can rest now too.
01:03:14:08 - 01:03:15:22
Grace
It's okay.
01:03:16:00 - 01:03:19:13
Filly
To rest. It's safe to be me.
01:03:19:15 - 01:03:21:06
Grace
Yeah.
01:03:21:08 - 01:03:45:08
Filly
You're amazing. Is there any any last words that you haven't shared already that you think would help listeners who might be really struggling in body burn out, getting stuck, maybe feeling like there's no hurt, that maybe broken or would this even work for me? What? What would you say?
01:03:45:10 - 01:04:21:06
Grace
I would say, listen to your body. Don't don't ignore it. Don't ignore either if they're physical symptoms or even if they're those frustrated, annoyed, not happy kind of stuck feelings I had. Just ignore them and get some support. Get some help. Like I look back at 40 year old and I. I knew I was tired and had a bit of PMS stuck and I tried to get support, but I didn't find it and I was too busy doing everything else so I didn't follow through.
01:04:21:08 - 01:04:52:16
Grace
So that would be my advice. My advice would be listen to your body and find good support. And for me, Chris and Filly have been great. I've. It just gave me a new dimension to the way I've been approaching my life and my healing. And the support was was wonderful. I, I really, Appreciated you fully because you will and you to Chris you both being so not just the.
01:04:52:16 - 01:04:58:13
Grace
I'm sorry Chris. Chris is just annoying. Maybe we spend a bit more.
01:04:58:13 - 01:05:00:23
Filly
One on one, one on one time together.
01:05:01:01 - 01:05:30:15
Grace
I know one on one is, but I think I identify more with Filly than with you. Chris. Filly is the younger version of me. When she was younger, the pushing that you know, the academics, the pushing, the overachieving, all of that. Whereas the the old Filly. Yeah okay I'll Filly and so but that really helped me Filly because I felt like you done the work yourself and you know the transformation was amazing.
01:05:30:15 - 01:06:01:22
Grace
And it gave me hope that if you could do it, I could do it. And so that's what I would say to other listeners, particularly other women out there. If you've got similar patterns, reach out and ask for help with Chris in Filly and you will be supported and you will be understood. And, I just felt always really validated and that my struggles weren't silly, that, you know, that you understood and and that helped when, you know, when symptoms would flare again, I think here we go again.
01:06:02:00 - 01:06:11:17
Grace
You'd be my no trust. Stick with the process. Rest surrender. And and that was invaluable. That support to be held through that that growing time.
01:06:11:22 - 01:06:14:02
Filly
Yeah. So beautiful.
01:06:14:07 - 01:06:33:08
Chris
It's awesome. It makes me excited that you resonate with Filly and less with me. It means I'm doing a good job of like covering up my doing like my doing doing doing go go go push push push ness of the past is like it's not even a thing anymore. That's that's exciting. I got a little kick out of that.
01:06:33:08 - 01:06:33:13
Chris
That was.
01:06:33:13 - 01:06:49:02
Filly
Cool. Also to Chris, was a lot. Oh, he's a lot like your husband. Then we'll kind of laid back and like, it's okay. And which I think was helpful for you too, because then it kind of like opened up a little mirror.
01:06:49:04 - 01:07:11:07
Grace
Yeah. Absolutely. It did. Yeah. So and and that's another thing you talk about. So real and authentic. And I just really, really, really appreciate it that yeah, you weren't just pushing a program or trying to make money out of something. You believed in it and you lived it or are living it. And that's just what refresh. Yeah. So thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:07:11:09 - 01:07:17:02
Filly
Thank you, thank you so much for sharing everything that you have shared.
01:07:17:04 - 01:07:18:11
Grace
And like like.
01:07:18:11 - 01:07:36:13
Filly
Really showing up for yourself. Because there could have been times that a lesser woman might have run away. It's like, oh, this isn't working. I quit too hard. It's not working anyway. But it's like, no, just like continually trusting and leaning into the process. And you got there in the end.
01:07:36:15 - 01:08:03:17
Grace
I did. And and just one little last, thing to leave with visitors and that I often say to myself is I get to choose. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I repeat that over and over to myself, grace. You get to choose. Yeah. And I choose to be safe. And I choose to be calm. And I choose to be confident.
01:08:03:20 - 01:08:06:10
Grace
I get to choose.
01:08:06:12 - 01:08:18:15
Filly
Yeah, I love that. I actually did a little inner session yesterday, combination of breathwork and Inner Child. And at the end of the day on like, yeah, I'm the boss. I get to choose.
01:08:18:17 - 01:08:19:15
Grace
I get to choose.
01:08:19:20 - 01:08:23:11
Filly
I get to choose if I'm likeable or not, how I live my life.
01:08:23:14 - 01:08:26:02
Grace
I'm the boss and the queen.
01:08:26:04 - 01:08:29:13
Filly
It was really fun. Like, yeah, I came up pretty pumped, didn't I?
01:08:29:15 - 01:08:50:16
Chris
Yeah, I know us. Me and the girls were just sitting on the cash. We just like, just chillin. Oh, cuddling at a kid in air. Just sitting the legs up on the beanbag. And Filly comes out on the bus right. Hold on. You are. You are the boss. Come sit down with us.
01:08:50:18 - 01:08:52:01
Grace
Awesome.
01:08:52:01 - 01:09:09:04
Filly
All right. Cool. Well, we will wrap it up today. Thank you so much again for coming on to share your story and also for our listeners. I know that I'm sure there's something in here, if not everything, that you will resonate with. Yeah, or get some really cool insights around healing.
01:09:09:09 - 01:09:13:17
Chris
This will be our most replayed episode is so good.
01:09:13:18 - 01:09:16:01
Grace
Lots of gold nuggets.
01:09:16:03 - 01:09:17:21
Chris
Thank you.
01:09:17:23 - 01:09:23:07
Grace
Thank you, bye bye.
01:09:23:09 - 01:09:33:11
Filly
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
01:09:33:13 - 01:09:59:12
Chris
You can also write your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking our Ending Buddy Burnout assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about that group one on one ending buddy burnout programs, shoot us a DM via Instagram or Facebook. Have the best day ever.
01:09:59:14 - 01:10:00:02
Chris
For.
