00:00:03:07 - 00:00:16:23
Chris
Hello and welcome to the ending Body Burnout show. We are your host, Chris and Filly, co-founders of a multi winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood and gut issues.
00:00:17:00 - 00:00:24:21
Filly
Well, business, addictive doing, people pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm. It's not normal and it's a major contributor to health issues.
00:00:25:00 - 00:00:38:04
Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplements hoping something might stick.
00:00:38:05 - 00:00:46:07
Filly
So get ready to heal your body. Get your spark back deeply, connect with yourself, and step into the life of your dreams.
00:00:46:10 - 00:00:58:13
Chris
Let's dive in.
00:00:58:15 - 00:01:10:05
Chris
All right, guys, welcome to this episode of The Body Burnout Show. This is a really interesting topic. We've got some tips coming your way. Do you want to go ahead and introduce the topic for us today?
00:01:10:10 - 00:01:43:07
Filly
Yeah. So we're going to be talking about our coaching rules. So our rules as coaches what we abide by to help our clients get the best results possible. And and really why why are we doing this topic today. Well the doors are now open to our ending body burnout method, which is super exciting. We only open doors three times a year and we love to work with people that vibe with us and that deeply feel that we can help them get the results that they want.
00:01:43:08 - 00:02:02:07
Filly
So this is a great podcast to be listening to right now, with doors being open for you to decide if we're the right coaches for you, if we're going to help you get to the deepest root cause of your body burnout and end it for good. Now we're okay to not be for everyone.
00:02:02:09 - 00:02:03:19
Chris
Very.
00:02:03:21 - 00:02:28:18
Filly
There will actually be a lot of people that won't vibe with how we practice cause functional medicine, and that's okay. In fact, there's only about 5% of the population that actually do the DPR in our root cause work that we do inside out ending body burnout method. So highly likely 95% of people, we actually probably wouldn't even be listening to our podcast.
00:02:28:18 - 00:02:51:05
Filly
So maybe if you're the rare 5%, you're listening, and if you're outside of that today, you know whether we're the right coaches for you or not. Also, if you are a client, this episode will be really great for you as well. We do have lots of clients and past clients listening to our podcast. Hello Beautiful people. So this will be a really nice episode for you.
00:02:51:05 - 00:03:15:21
Filly
Essentially, it's our agreements to you as well. It's how we show up to serve you and how you can expect us to show up, to serve you. So I'm excited to to dig into this topic. Also, before we do, just a reminder that our three day live event unravel perfectionism, Embody Burnout is kicking off today, and it's running over the course of the week.
00:03:15:21 - 00:03:39:00
Filly
So if you haven't registered yet, just go down to the show notes and click the link to register. If you're listening to this, podcast and the event has already happened, that's okay. It will be accessible for the full week so you can jump down and register and access the the coaching experience that we are putting on this week, which I'm really excited about.
00:03:39:06 - 00:03:57:16
Chris
The beauty of a podcast is you might be listening to this well after our doors are closed as well. So I think this podcast and what we're going to talk about today is very relevant for you. If you've been following along for a while and you're not sure whether or not, we are a good fit. Yeah.
00:03:57:18 - 00:04:00:13
Chris
Lots of good information for you. Yeah.
00:04:00:15 - 00:04:24:03
Filly
Okay. So let's talk about gains gamification. So this is a concept that I was introduced to by one of my coaches and mentors, Jamie and Fraser. And he's like, yeah, your life is a game. Let's play it like it's a game. And initially I wasn't keen on the concept. My brain connected negative connotations to people using the word game.
00:04:24:03 - 00:04:55:00
Filly
Like you're playing a game with me. And also I wasn't very playful back then either. I'd stopped playing any sports and games irritated me. I wasn't very gamey person or playful person, so I didn't didn't love it initially. And also all games have rules. And so gamification to gamify an area of your life, whether there's there's rules that you live by that you abide by in order to win the game.
00:04:55:02 - 00:05:22:04
Filly
And I was at that point in time unravelling my own perfectionism patterns and my own kind of like good girl syndrome and like, everything's got to be right. There's right and wrong. And so the idea of setting rules for myself felt almost counterproductive to what I was trying to unravel. But the more I learned about gamification, I realised it's actually a really fun and playful way of living life on purpose.
00:05:22:04 - 00:05:50:23
Filly
And it creates so much certainty within the self. So your conscious mind and unconscious mind can be on the same board, knowing that this is the game that you're playing. There's so much certainty and certainty then creates safety. So it's actually safe to to succeed in this game and win the game. Do you want to give some examples of games or like what a game actually is and how we're using the word game?
00:05:51:01 - 00:06:19:16
Chris
Yeah, okay. So, our marriage, we, we look at our marriage is as, as a game, we look at our business as a game, we look at how. And then there's in into is it's not interpersonal is between you and I intra personal. So my own personal games that the way I play my games, I might have the personal health, the personal way I, I approach health game.
00:06:19:18 - 00:06:39:18
Chris
We, we have a game. How we approach our marriage. We have a game. How we approach parenting. We have a game inside that game of how we parent a specific child, and we have a totally different way we play the game of parenting for the other specific child. We have a way we want to play the game of our dog.
00:06:39:19 - 00:07:07:03
Chris
You know, some, some sometimes people might have the dogs sleep in their bedroom. We play the game of our dog sleeps in her laundry in the in. And she loves it. She she thrives and she's healthier for it. And so just like that dog, we thrive in our marriage. When we play. And, according to the rules that we, we set, our children, gee whiz, they really thrive when we get really clear on the game.
00:07:07:08 - 00:07:21:19
Chris
We want to play as parents and, and and they can have a little bit of back and forth as well, how they want to play. They're starting to make their rules for how they want to play the game of being a kid in our family. Yeah. So that's that's a few examples.
00:07:21:21 - 00:07:52:12
Filly
We, we use with our clients. We actually ran a workshop recently on Gamifying healing. So even like, how can you bring the concept of a game into healing as well? So what's your game with healing different to a game plan? It's actually like you're in the game. You're playing the game. So this is also, a lesson, a model that we use in our program ending body burnout method.
00:07:52:12 - 00:08:10:00
Filly
So in the metaphysical side of healing, which is called spark, we there is like a really specific lesson around what's the game that you're playing with your health and with other important, important areas of your life. If you are a client and you're like, where is that? I'll put it in the show notes. So you can, go directly to that.
00:08:10:02 - 00:08:28:15
Chris
Can I, can I just talk really quickly about, people who have an aversion to the word game? You kind of touched on it, but but I think there are some real aversions. And this might be you, when you hear us talk about, oh, what game do you want to play? No, I don't want to play the game.
00:08:28:17 - 00:08:47:20
Chris
And I from from my heart. I think you're you might be thinking of this from a victim point of view. I've had people play me. This might be something that you're thinking. If you've got an aversion to the word to the term game, maybe that might be you. And so there's some work there for you to get to get some.
00:08:47:20 - 00:09:02:19
Filly
Other aversions might be, oh, but I like I don't play games. I'm not a competitive person. Yeah. Now the thing is, you're playing a game. You're playing many games in your life right now. It's just that often they're happening unconsciously. Unintentionally.
00:09:02:21 - 00:09:20:14
Chris
Yeah, that's that's a good word. Intentionally. Like really what we're saying is make life intentional. So so be intentional with it. And whatever that looks like to you, we are going to call that gamification.
00:09:20:17 - 00:09:46:02
Filly
Yeah. So the set up of a game like some just some questions that when we're creating a game, whether it's personally for ourselves helping with a client or doing it together as a couple or in our business, the set up always is what's what's the game that you're playing? What does the game look like to win? Because you need to know what it looks like to win the game and what the game even is.
00:09:46:02 - 00:10:08:13
Filly
Before you can set some rules or agreements to live by to win the game. Otherwise, it's like you don't even know what the rules are for. And also, this is a fun one. What are the consequences of breaking the rules? It's like, you know, if you're playing a basketball game and you get fouled out, will the consequences you get to go sit on the bench and that's like not fun.
00:10:08:15 - 00:10:23:16
Filly
It causes pain, which then helps you to want to play by the rules so that you're a good sport. And also the rules help you to win the game. If you're constantly getting fouled out, you're not going to win anything. Okay, so that's the setup now.
00:10:23:16 - 00:10:29:00
Chris
Well, yeah, I'm technically speaking. My team did really well and I failed at every game.
00:10:29:02 - 00:10:30:13
Filly
But because you went on the court.
00:10:30:15 - 00:10:31:07
Chris
Yeah.
00:10:31:09 - 00:10:55:15
Filly
Yeah okay. So the set up of the game sorry. We have a coaching game. So Chris mentioned lots of games that, you know, we play we help clients play. There might be other games that you're playing as well. One of our games is the coaching game. So the game that we're playing is the embodied coach. Now to win win the game.
00:10:55:19 - 00:11:18:14
Filly
Winning the game actually looks like our clients get fantastic results. And our business is thriving because of it. So that's what winning the game looks like. The game that we're playing like ultimately. And this is really like the first, the first rule or the agreement is the embodied coach. And so what does this mean. Well actually means that we we live what we coach.
00:11:18:14 - 00:11:48:14
Filly
There's nothing that we ask of or teach of clients that I haven't done myself, both in the physical realm. I'm talking about me personally, by the way, with the physical realm, live testing, supplements, lifestyle and in the metaphysical realm. So beliefs, trauma, work, reprogramming, regulating anything that like. And Chris and I both have our own strengths or aspects of how we work with clients in this scope of ending body burnout.
00:11:48:16 - 00:12:15:02
Filly
But there's nothing that we that we coach by that we haven't already done ourselves. So that's the embodied coach. When when I am nailing this game, it looks like and I'm going to talk about this specifically to me because I actually created this, or upgraded this quite recently as well. So winning the game, the embodied coach game looks like I listen to my body and my unconscious mind.
00:12:15:03 - 00:12:39:09
Filly
I trust and deeply love myself. I backed myself, I'm the boss. I'm the queen. I follow through with what I need in order to thrive and in what feels aligned. I daily spend time filling my cup up work and to do happen around these in a flow full way. I love and connect with my family now. By the way, winning the game doesn't mean like this happens all the time.
00:12:39:09 - 00:13:03:21
Filly
Perfectly fit, far out. I know I'm nailing the game when this is my reality most of the time. I teach my children to be resourceful and to look after their body and mine and soft and playful and loving with Chris. And, you know, I'm playing the marriage game. I lean into personal growth and expansion, understanding that new levels of growth will bring up uncertainty.
00:13:03:21 - 00:13:31:17
Filly
And I will work to create safety as I uplevel. Another another way that I'm winning the game and playing the embodied coach game is my body and mind. A healthy. It's the natural consequence of just trusting and loving myself. I'm adventurous, spontaneous. I am defined by what I do. I'm not sorry. I'm not defined by what I do or achieve, especially when it comes to work.
00:13:31:19 - 00:13:59:14
Filly
And at the same time, I know that I am a magnet for success. It's just the natural consequence of backing myself. And I nourish my spiritual being. So there. That's what it looks like for me personally to leave as an embodied coach, which is essentially agreement number one, that to win the coaching game, I must be the embodied coach.
00:13:59:16 - 00:14:20:20
Filly
And I know that when I'm living as an embodied coach, I get access to be a phenomenal coach. So not only does it feel awesome for myself and I get to step into my Queen leadership energy coaching power, but it also opens the door to serving our clients in the best way possible. So it creates certainty and safety for clients.
00:14:20:23 - 00:14:36:13
Filly
There's like evidence that it's possible there are clear, repeatable steps to get there. I'm not just winging it, I'm not just winging results. I know exactly what I've done in order to create the results that I have and that I leave.
00:14:36:14 - 00:15:06:00
Chris
I can I just say something? Yeah. Two things. One, when you're an embodied coach, you get access to a to to being a phenomenal coach. So that's the key literally in body coach key to access being a phenomenal coach. So so I think that's really important. In all the games that that we play in that you play that gives you access to the, to the outcome that you want.
00:15:06:02 - 00:15:38:01
Chris
But some, some way shape or form the, the other thing, you just said it it it's just its intention. This is you're not winging it. You're not flicking it. Sure, you might get what you want by flicking it unintentionally, but that's just haphazard. It's rare. It might come along. It might not just put. There's certain things that you can, you can control in regards to an outcome.
00:15:38:02 - 00:15:57:20
Chris
Thoughts, feelings, words and actions. So stop stop winging it, guys. Make make some rules. Find the game that you want to play. Stop winging it. Be intentional. It's just it's it really is the the show. It's the shot. If you want to call a shortcut, it is the shortcut. Just get really clear on what you want.
00:15:58:02 - 00:15:58:14
Chris
00:15:58:16 - 00:16:18:17
Filly
Yeah. Around the access. Access to a phenomenal coach. I was actually just thinking about a conversation I had recently with a lady who's like oh she's like oh like yeah it sounds good. Your ending body burn out method. But I don't know I'm a bit bit suss. And I'm like, oh okay cool. Why let's let's dig into that.
00:16:18:17 - 00:16:39:14
Filly
She's like, well like I mean, you, you doing like things over here. And she did this with this with this thing with her hands, this fluffy thing with the hands and like, oh, what do you mean by that? She's like, oh, like, you know, you're not a GP, you know, to a registered psychologist. Kind of like overhearing like the, the holistic field.
00:16:39:16 - 00:17:05:01
Filly
And I'm like, oh, okay. Interesting. And by the way, when I'm an embodied coach, I don't get I'm not I don't care when someone says that because I know that I can get great results for me. And so therefore I can get great results for clients regardless of what certificates I have on the wall. Which, by the way, I have a PhD certificate.
00:17:05:01 - 00:17:35:01
Filly
So, you know, that's pretty good. But but it's but it's more that there are very little coaches, therapists, psychologists, practitioners, doctors that are fully living as the embodiment of what they preach. And that's the difference between being able to hold someone's hand and navigating them through the challenges. Like if you have an experience that yourself and you don't know how to troubleshoot yourself for yourself, how the heck can you do it for a client?
00:17:35:02 - 00:18:07:13
Filly
You might have read some things in a textbook or, you know, done an exam around it, but if you haven't embodied it, then it's very hard to lead a client to the results that you've created for yourself. And by the way, a lot of practitioners, coaches, doctors, it sick and burnt out. Okay. Sorry. Rules. So these the other rules and agreements that follow are really, holding up rule number one around being an embodied coach.
00:18:07:15 - 00:18:29:19
Filly
So their second rule is we do not band aid or manage. Now, what I've, what I've experienced is that a lot of people gravitate to functional medicine and natural therapies because they're done with the medical system. And they use the language to it's like, oh, the doctors are just giving me a band aid approach. They're just trying to manage my symptoms.
00:18:29:21 - 00:18:55:13
Filly
And so people gravitate to functional medicine or different natural therapies. However, the sad truth is there are many practitioners and coaches in the natural, holistic world that is still giving band aid approaches wrapped up as a natural approach and therefore, like the brain goes natural, it must be root cause, but it's actually not. There are so many natural bandaids like, oh, I've done a lab test, you've got leaky gut.
00:18:55:13 - 00:19:13:13
Filly
He take glutamine, eat some fermented foods. It's like, hang on. Like, yeah, cool. That might actually heal the gut lining, but it's going to just, like, totally become, like, leaky again. If you're not addressing the deeper root cause around your own tiger chasing inside of you, that's causing dysregulation and breaking down your gut lining.
00:19:13:18 - 00:19:30:10
Chris
Even symptom work like body systems and symptoms like, you know, like treating of the with the protocols, doing the functional medicine, the natural approach. Yeah. That's it's just so prevalent. It's it doesn't address the root root cause like how you even got there in the first place. Yeah. That tiger.
00:19:30:12 - 00:19:55:05
Filly
Yeah. And even things like I don't know. Again, this isn't a dig in any type of modality because we, we, we use a lot of different types of modalities. But if one modality is done on its own, it often ends up just being a management tool. So even something like say, yoga or meditation or hypnotherapy, it's like, yeah, but are you actually getting to the root of who you are?
00:19:55:07 - 00:20:16:10
Filly
Energy healing is a good one as well, I love it. It's great seeing some pretty phenomenal things come from it, but it can end up being a rescuer type dichotomy where you have to continue going to this practitioner to heal you, and you don't even know who you are and why you're burnt out in the first place.
00:20:16:12 - 00:20:42:18
Filly
So we're we're done practising band aid management approaches. When you enter into our our ending body burn out method, expect a root. Root cause approach. That is what you receive. And the result and prize of that is that you and your body burn out for good. And this is also a reason why I personally don't work on going with a client who only wants to do surface level treatment like supplements, diet, lifestyle protocols.
00:20:42:18 - 00:21:11:05
Filly
It's a hard no. Now, there was a period of time where I was sitting in consults like this, and every time I had a consult like this, I was physically feeling ill, like I wanted to vomit. And it was a clear sign from my the deepest part of me that wants the best for me, that doing this is a Band-Aid approach was a clear signal that it was out of alignment with my mission to end body burnout.
00:21:11:07 - 00:21:39:09
Filly
Number two. Three. Number three. Mind or body, they both belong. So this is another agreement. We practice from the from the presupposition that the body and mind is connected. So do. And so therefore you don't treat the mind and the body as separate things, or we don't treat as the mind and body as separate entities.
00:21:39:11 - 00:21:59:21
Filly
That's where the medical system is stuck. Because they're treating different body systems as separate and then come to functional medicine and it's like, oh, all these body systems fit together. But what about all the other parts of you that you can't see, that you can't run, run a lab on? So body burnout always has a physical and a metaphysical component.
00:21:59:23 - 00:22:08:20
Filly
And to reach resolution you cannot separate the two. So if you just want sit ups and labs and some lifestyle tips, we're not the coaches for.
00:22:08:20 - 00:22:21:01
Chris
You or surgery or drug cut it out or artificially enhance it. There's there's a place for all of that. Just not our place.
00:22:21:07 - 00:22:55:23
Filly
Yeah. Rule or agreement? I'm using rule agreement interchangeably because sometimes people have a negative aversion to rule as well. It's just like you rule agreement is softer, gentler. Number four is and this is more specifically for me, because I am I straddle both the physical and the metaphysical when I'm working with the client. So I say, you know, the practitioner versus the coach that, this I got into trouble when I wasn't doing this.
00:22:56:01 - 00:23:25:20
Filly
Where. So when I'm wearing the practitioner hat, that's like the functional medicine advice giver hat. That's where I'm like, these are your labs. This is what is showing up. This is this is what you need in order to be able to heal that body system. Now, the coach hat is very different. The coach hat is essentially I am not the expert here I am, I am purely the mirror and the guide helping you to return back to you.
00:23:25:22 - 00:23:48:14
Filly
And there was a time in the past where those were getting mixed up, and then I was confusing the client to they like, oh, hang on. Not that they would say this, that I could just see it happening in their mind, that they're like, we advise giving here or are you coaching me? I'm confused. When when we step into the coaching role, that permission must be given.
00:23:48:16 - 00:24:12:05
Filly
And generally when someone joins our ending body burn out method, that is a sign that permission is given. But sometimes that permission or the request or ask of that needs to happen in a coaching session as well. And so when I'm transitioning from the practitioner hat to the coach hat, I'll generally signal that. And if I'm feeling resistance, I will ask permission.
00:24:12:07 - 00:24:38:06
Filly
Because if the client is confused then and they're feeling like this judgement now. So judgement can come when advice giving these coming in the wrong space then. Then there's basically like a shut down and a lack of rapport. So that is a a rule for me. Number five you say this one because you like this one.
00:24:38:08 - 00:24:39:21
Chris
Yeah. It means a lot to me.
00:24:39:21 - 00:24:42:16
Filly
Read out. Write out the title first.
00:24:42:18 - 00:25:14:08
Chris
The rule is we don't care. And, I'm a coach that doesn't care. And it sounds blunt, but that's. There's so much truth and there's love underneath. I'm just going to go off script. Guys say, like, it's, that is an attention grabber for sure. Sometimes, in contrast, when when I'll say that or a first conversation and I've had many people say, oh well, well, you're a bit rude then.
00:25:14:09 - 00:25:38:04
Chris
And it's the most loving and kind of thing that I can do because I'm not bringing my way of living and my rules and my map of of the world, to you and and I'm not attached to to anything that that you have going on in your life. And that's, that's really a caring, caring thing.
00:25:38:06 - 00:26:05:19
Filly
Yeah. And so I'm a coach that doesn't care. Now, I had to sit with that agreement as well for a long time, because initially it didn't feel good. It's like, but I do care like I care deeply, otherwise I wouldn't be doing the thing. Like my purpose is to help people in body out. But when I really deeply understood what it actually meant and, and essentially, if I'm a coach that doesn't care, I can step out of the way.
00:26:05:21 - 00:26:34:21
Filly
Yeah. So there's no neediness. So if I'm a coach that doesn't care, then I'm unattached to your outcome. I'm unattached to whether you say you're going to do the thing that you say you're going to do or not. I'm unattached to whether a client agrees or not with me. I'm attached to whether a client quits or not. So that helps me personally to show up without an agenda like my own personal agenda and without judgement.
00:26:34:21 - 00:26:54:14
Filly
I'm purely there. Like there's a clean slate to be able to serve the client. It sometimes in my language with the client, it might be I don't, I don't care. Okay. So if a client's leaning out and they're like, oh, this is too hard. Now this is like, this isn't going to work anymore for me. And they're leaning out.
00:26:54:15 - 00:27:15:03
Filly
Usually I will say, I don't care what you do, I don't I don't care whether you and your body burn out or not, because I don't need you to get results for me to feel good about myself. I already feel good about myself because I've done the work like I have ended my body better now, and I know how to get you there.
00:27:15:05 - 00:27:37:00
Filly
So if you're leaning out, if you're running away, I don't care. And it's the most loving thing I can say to you right now, because no one else in your world can say the truth like this in such a blunt way. And the truth is, what is going to set you free. So I love this rule. Now I love it.
00:27:37:02 - 00:27:38:12
Chris
It's so good.
00:27:38:14 - 00:28:10:00
Filly
Rule number six guides, not rescuers. So we are the guides, not the rescuer. The cool thing around this one is that it places you as the hero, not us. So it's sort of like, a follow on from We Don't care. We don't show up needy for you to get results so that we can feel good about ourselves and in a similar vein, where the god, not the rescuer, yield a hero, it's kind of like you.
00:28:10:00 - 00:28:16:09
Filly
Like you like this. The movies give, give a few movie examples.
00:28:16:11 - 00:28:36:12
Chris
So Gandalf, or Dumbledore, not Harry Potter. We're not we're not Frodo. You're Frodo. We, Obi-Wan and your Luke, are they good?
00:28:36:14 - 00:28:46:10
Filly
Yeah. They're good. Sorry. As as the metaphor. If you think about Harry Potter, I was thinking Gandalf was his guy, but that's not right.
00:28:46:10 - 00:28:49:05
Chris
Dumbledore, you're so cute.
00:28:49:07 - 00:29:26:12
Filly
Don't. Harry's the one that gets the transformation Dumbledore has already got. He's. He's the. He's the god, not the hero. And the thing around the guide is the guide at some point gets out of the way. You don't need to be dependent on the guide for the rest of your life. And so if we came into our service to you, as with rescue it energy, that means that we're needy and we need someone to help, which then kind of like keeps you in this weird, co-dependent relationship with a coach or practitioner who is a rescuer.
00:29:26:14 - 00:29:47:01
Filly
They actually, one don't know how to get themselves out of a rescue, a patent, so therefore they haven't fully healed, but also two, they need a victim. They need someone to to remain sick or not fully well. So that you can continue being in their space and they can continue being there. Rescue all that can also come back to a financial thing as well.
00:29:47:01 - 00:30:09:07
Filly
Like it's like I won't give you the full resolution so you can stay in my membership until the day that you die. So it gets weird, it gets murky, it gets messy. It definitely doesn't serve the client. It's all about the coach or the practitioner. The other thing around guide, not rescue, is that when not your accountability buddy.
00:30:09:09 - 00:30:33:19
Filly
So sometimes you and you might have experienced this, you might have hired someone to help you, and they have been your cheerleader. Your accountability buddy. They make sure you get the results by sending you texts every day. Have you done the thing that's a very rescue it energy and it'll and might help you get the result because you feel accountable to them.
00:30:33:21 - 00:30:51:22
Filly
But it definitely doesn't teach you to step into your own leadership and your own trust with self. And it only will ever lead to short term results or rebellion. At some point you get to the point. It's like, oh my gosh, I haven't done the thing and now I feel so bad and they're going to think I'm a bad person and I've let them down.
00:30:52:02 - 00:31:01:22
Filly
It's like, no, if if a coach is a guide, no to rescue you, you can actually never let them down.
00:31:02:00 - 00:31:09:23
Filly
Number seven, we don't work harder than the client who's.
00:31:10:00 - 00:31:16:21
Filly
So if I, if I or Chris, if we want to more than the client, things get weird again.
00:31:16:23 - 00:31:19:05
Chris
Speak to me again. It's like, yeah, it.
00:31:19:05 - 00:31:28:21
Filly
Gets needy again. It's like, come on, you have to do the thing. Well, you have to. You have to see this exactly the way that I see it to do in your body. Burn out.
00:31:28:23 - 00:31:30:01
Chris
So temporary.
00:31:30:06 - 00:31:40:08
Filly
Yeah. It's temporary. So again, it's a little bit like accountability the accountability buddy. It's like come on I'm going to like, work so hard to keep you accountable. Say you do the thing.
00:31:40:11 - 00:32:04:02
Chris
Because that's me caring. If I was to be that that kind of person which in the in the past definitely was and that's me caring more than you. I care more than you about the thing that you say that you want like that. That's not going to work. And and now you might be able to see how these rules interlock and how they, they fit together.
00:32:04:02 - 00:32:04:15
Chris
Hey.
00:32:04:17 - 00:32:12:17
Filly
So it's not like it won't lead to healing if you don't. If you don't want it, if I want it more than you, then you can't heal.
00:32:12:19 - 00:32:31:01
Chris
That's boring to worry. I we both get very bored by that. Honestly, if you if you don't really want it, you haven't gotten clear on on what you do really want. And, you might find that this whole healing journey, you just not you don't want it enough.
00:32:31:01 - 00:32:53:23
Filly
And and and or there's some pretty big secondary gains and benefits of being where you are. Yeah. So it's kind of like, yeah, like you fix me, I have pain, you fix me or you work harder than me. You make sure I get the results. But but actually unconsciously, there's often some deep seated secondary gains around staying on.
00:32:53:23 - 00:33:09:13
Filly
Well, it's actually unsafe to be well. And so therefore if we try and work harder than you to make sure you get the results, it doesn't work. I mean, there's there's a way that will break through and can help break through the resistance around that, but that energy never works.
00:33:09:15 - 00:33:14:05
Chris
I got I got a real life example about this. Can I share?
00:33:14:07 - 00:33:14:19
Filly
Sure.
00:33:14:22 - 00:33:35:06
Chris
Okay, so I've had a conversation with a client, recently at the time of this recording, I won't mention names. But they said, I thought if I did the private one on one with you, that's all I would have to do. I'd just rock up for a phone call here and there and everything. She'll be right, mate.
00:33:35:08 - 00:33:59:13
Chris
And. And then I learned very quickly that. No, that's plugged their thoughts in the outlet that had to do the work in between how coaching calls that had to want it. And and so it was it was a real it was a beautiful moment for this, this client to realise that, is actually a little bit more than having a chat every, every week.
00:33:59:13 - 00:34:22:14
Chris
There was some work that roll this sleeves up and get to work on themselves. Really dig deep. There were some actual literal tears. There was some, points of frustration for them, and it was a beautiful, beautiful moment where they realised they aren't going to be rescued fully. And I aren't here to rescue them. They had to want this.
00:34:22:14 - 00:34:43:14
Chris
And and they did. They did. And to their credit, they showed up. They did roll their sleeves up. They did do the work. And, just it's been a it the work is still going, but it's been a privilege and honour and it's been fun to, to watch them on their journey as they, they work.
00:34:43:15 - 00:35:09:01
Filly
Another way that this can show up subtly. So if we're, if a coach or practitioner is like, oh, I have to work harder than the client, from the client perspective, the client can be quite, challenging in terms of like, you have to prove to, to me that every single little thing that you talk about, that you recommend that you advise is going to work exhausting.
00:35:09:01 - 00:35:32:23
Filly
It's like it's like, oh my gosh, it's like, this is why we have a podcast and a book. And like so much free content that if you join, if you join our ending body burnout method and you still need to prove to me that this will work before I do the thing, then it's like, maybe you haven't listened or read or consumed enough content yet.
00:35:33:01 - 00:35:52:03
Filly
Again, it's coming from a very victim energy of like, you prove to me and sorry, I just that increase. You prove to me that this is going to work, and if it doesn't, then it's your fault, not mine. And so. So that's where some practitioners, coaches will end up working harder than the client. And we don't agree to that.
00:35:52:04 - 00:35:54:08
Filly
That is not one of our rules that we live by.
00:35:54:10 - 00:35:57:13
Chris
No rep.
00:35:57:15 - 00:36:08:03
Filly
Okay. So number eight, shine a light on the blind spots boldly. Why are you laughing?
00:36:08:05 - 00:36:10:09
Chris
I just read the script.
00:36:10:11 - 00:36:12:00
Filly
00:36:12:19 - 00:36:15:19
Chris
Keegan.
00:36:15:21 - 00:36:17:01
Filly
The points. Yeah.
00:36:17:01 - 00:36:17:13
Chris
Read the doc.
00:36:17:14 - 00:36:25:15
Filly
Points don't flames. Well, my one to under this was Chris's. Always been quite good at this in fact, maybe he was a bit too hot. Cool.
00:36:25:17 - 00:36:27:06
Chris
Initially, that's what I was laughing.
00:36:27:08 - 00:36:49:15
Filly
I remember when he joined. So these probably would have been like old Kreese, kind of like Army days and then kind of like more, grunge gym, CrossFit, strength training. It's like, I'll tell you, when you're weak, I'll show you a weakness is blind spot, blind spots my sight. And I remember when you joined at my practice.
00:36:49:15 - 00:36:57:18
Chris
Like I would, I would show you a blind spot by pointing a big beam in your eyeballs.
00:36:57:20 - 00:37:09:02
Filly
And I remember when you joined my functional medicine practice. Then we. And we evolved it into Chris. And fully functional medicine. That was so for rediscovery.
00:37:09:04 - 00:37:10:04
Chris
Oh, great.
00:37:10:05 - 00:37:36:02
Filly
Where you at? Well, you're just too intense. It'd be too like, hammer and tongs and it's like, hang on. The people that are coming to this practice, their capacity is low and the nervous system is fragile. As a starting point. So let's shine the blind spots. That would do it in a loving, gentle way. And sometimes, sometimes it needs to be fire and brimstone.
00:37:36:04 - 00:37:52:16
Filly
But personally, for me, this was definitely an agreement, a rule that I had to do a lot of work on. So I had to be the embodiment of this is that at first I had to do my own, you know, work and shine a light on my own blind spots and be very honest and vulnerable with them.
00:37:52:17 - 00:38:16:04
Filly
And that was all. So for me, I had to unravel reprogramme people pleasing good girl type tendencies of like, oh no, I don't want to ruffle feathers. Or if I say something that you know, and I shine a blind spot and on on something that the person is trying to hide, either from themselves or from me, I might offend them.
00:38:16:04 - 00:38:33:10
Filly
So I had to do a lot of work around that, and it feels so good to now have the agreement as a coach that I'm able to shine a light on your blind spots, call out your bullcrap boldly from a place of compassion.
00:38:33:12 - 00:39:09:23
Chris
It's been nice to have a integration of our two parts myself becoming more feminine and softer and receiving. And that's been that's been enjoyable. It's it makes life a lot easier when I can still be masculine and and blokey, but have a softer side that's more receiving. But then also I've, I've seen in you I'll probably both like your masculine sides goes from masculine, resourceful to more of a resourceful masculine and, and a feminine softness.
00:39:09:23 - 00:39:22:01
Chris
But you can like really, as you put it, like, boldly point out blind spots without taking in an resourcefully feminine lee, you know, energy.
00:39:22:06 - 00:39:40:00
Filly
I think the big thing for me too, that clicked in my head where it's like, oh, oh, this is why it's important to shine a blind spot. Boldly was when I realised that old me, being soft and cautious and like, don't ruffle feathers was actually more dangerous.
00:39:40:00 - 00:39:40:19
Chris
Yeah.
00:39:40:21 - 00:40:01:14
Filly
It was more dangerous because I was keeping the client stuck in this cycle of stuckness. And so then when I had that like light bulb moment and realised the most loving and safest thing I could do for this client in front of me right now is to shine a light on their blind spots boldly. It was like that was kind of like the integration of the feminine.
00:40:01:14 - 00:40:14:03
Filly
Resourceful to as well as the masculine of, of doing, inserting, shining the light, but also from that place of love and safety. Love it.
00:40:14:04 - 00:40:38:05
Chris
One of the best questions that I, I find myself asking time and time again as a coach is, are you okay if I tell you something that I've noticed or, you know, change the words a little bit, essentially just pointing out a blind spot, but boldly. Sometimes the answer is no. But and that's interesting because then they just don't care.
00:40:38:05 - 00:40:48:07
Chris
So like, why do I even care anyway? But if they say, yeah, please, I'll be like, excellent. This is what I've noticed.
00:40:48:08 - 00:41:11:22
Filly
And I don't think I've ever had someone say no recently. Who's inside out, ending body burn out method program, who has agreed to the rules of the game as well because it is like it's like, you know, it's not sometimes it's there. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Sometimes it's an excited and like a very profound like, yes, please do.
00:41:12:00 - 00:41:15:20
Filly
But it's it's always a yes. Even though it might come with discomfort.
00:41:15:22 - 00:41:26:08
Chris
Permission. Permission is so powerful. Once once we ask that question, you might find you can ask that question to somebody else as well. Yeah. It's real powerful.
00:41:26:08 - 00:42:02:04
Filly
Yeah. Rule number nine agreement is intuitive and perceptive. So I believe that an embodied coach, an exceptional coach is someone who is intuitive and perceptive. First and foremost inside of their own signals, in their own body, but also being able to be intuitive and perceptive to the client as well. Like the shifts in, like the their muscles in their face, in their tone, in the pauses, in the breath, in the those tiny moments that stop bubbling to the surface.
00:42:02:04 - 00:42:20:05
Filly
But then they disappear because the person has started, like putting the mask back on, being able to pull that out for me. And I believe also for you, Chris, is a really important agreement that that I coach by.
00:42:20:07 - 00:42:50:22
Filly
Number ten, co-creation and higher purpose. So what we've created inside the ending body burnout method and how we serve our people is so much bigger than us, and also even bigger than the clients that we serve. So the higher purpose of ending body burnout, I really feel that that I'm living on this planet in this season of my life.
00:42:50:22 - 00:43:20:21
Filly
And I went through a decade of suffering and wholeheartedly trying to get to the root of my own body, burn out. And all of that was for the greater good of now being able to share a really clear, repeatable method for others to be able to do the same. And oh my gosh, when our clients show up and wholeheartedly follow the steps, they get great results every time.
00:43:20:23 - 00:43:42:15
Filly
And so yeah, I, I really believe, like from a spiritual point of view, that this is why I'm here on this planet at this time. And so I, I'm receptive and I'm open to channelling in whatever we need to do in order to help heal the planet.
00:43:42:17 - 00:43:45:05
Chris
Yeah. Full stop.
00:43:45:11 - 00:43:47:21
Filly
Yep. Full stop. No more needed to be said.
00:43:47:22 - 00:44:15:01
Chris
Well, okay. One little thing. Okay. So if you notice and you go back and listen to this again, and you write these rules down, some of them seem to, to be oil and water. They seem to be this or that. But that, that last rule that we talked about. So co-creation. But we're not your rescuer. We're we're going to you're the hero.
00:44:15:01 - 00:44:39:23
Chris
We don't work harder than you. We don't care or disconnected from outcome, but we're co-creating with you, and it's not, one or the other. It's one and the other, it's the this it's not a dichotomy. It's, integration. It's bringing that all together. And you might be able to do that for yourself as well, with certain rules in your life.
00:44:40:01 - 00:44:50:18
Chris
And that's when we can bring all these things together. It creates something really beautiful and and profound.
00:44:50:20 - 00:45:36:10
Filly
Beautiful. And last rule number 11, we create certainty. I think certainty is so important. You can't you can't heal when when your body's in danger. Danger occurs when there's uncertainty. Confusion occurs when there's uncertainty. Getting stuck in the in a cycle of practitioner, diet supplement course hopping occurs when there's uncertainty. So we, we work to create certainty that it not only is possible to end body burnout and not just band out and manage symptoms and patterns by like it is possible because we embody it.
00:45:36:10 - 00:46:01:20
Filly
And then with that, co-creation, like other clients are embodying it, and then they're passing it down to their children and to their community. And that's what I mean by the whole planet can get healed. So there's certainty that it is possible, this certainty that there are repeatable, intelligent, effective steps to heal both physically and metaphysically, which is really important.
00:46:01:22 - 00:46:28:15
Filly
The clients, our clients that follow the steps wholeheartedly and get results. They haven't they haven't winged it. They're not special that they are special, but they're not like special that they got the results and someone else doesn't get the results. It's it's a testament that there's certainty that you can solve this when you follow the steps. And safety.
00:46:28:15 - 00:46:34:14
Filly
So when there's certainty this creates safety. And then safety creates healing.
00:46:34:16 - 00:47:06:09
Chris
And then one, one more layer on that as well is stories like meanings that you can make about yourself. So when you when you're certain in and of yourself and you feel safe in and of yourself, you can tell yourself more empowering stories. Stories that, that are resourceful and that that allow this whole process just to keep going around and around and in a spiral upwards, a virtuous cycle and a virtuous spiral.
00:47:06:11 - 00:47:15:22
Chris
Onwards and upwards. It's pure. It's beautiful. Safe. Certainty stories, nervous system regulation, wonderful.
00:47:16:00 - 00:47:21:17
Filly
Okay. So there that's what you can expect as coaches.
00:47:21:19 - 00:47:22:19
Chris
And you might not like that.
00:47:22:19 - 00:47:25:15
Filly
And you might not like that. And that's okay.
00:47:25:17 - 00:47:26:12
Chris
Now, you know.
00:47:26:14 - 00:47:52:11
Filly
I now you know, that's probably you before you like stepped into the method and then you're like, oh crap, what is this? This is challenging and scary. Yeah. All right guys, so as we mentioned before, doors are open to ending body burn out method. They do close on Tuesday the 28th, 9 p.m. Sydney, Australia time. We only open doors a few times a year and next time won't be until end of May.
00:47:52:13 - 00:48:37:16
Filly
And it's the start of the year. I'm sure you've probably created some, goals around health and healing and what you want to get out of life. So jump in. Like actually make these goals a reality rather than another year that's gone by where you had your goal list and nothing's happened. And if you, want to experience our style of coaching in action in real time, then jump down to the Shownotes, join our three day live coaching week and three day Life Coaching week kind of does span over the course of a week, and we're going to be digging into unravels perfectionism patterns and other busy type burnout patterns and how to heal your
00:48:37:16 - 00:49:00:03
Filly
body. Burnout for good. It's going to be awesome. Day one last, which is today, we're going to be looking at the body systems and body systems that burn out when you're running perfectionism. But, busy burnout patterns, day two. We'll look at the root cause or the root root cause. What actually caused your body systems to burn out, and what's the deep root cause of these patterns that you're playing?
00:49:00:05 - 00:49:26:10
Filly
And day three will move into food and move. So we'll be moving into lifestyle a bit from the place of changing the way that you are being and living from a place of flow, not force. So it's going to be really wonderful. We'd love to have you along. And you can register at the link below. Or if you have missed the live, you can watch back the recording.
00:49:26:12 - 00:49:30:01
Chris
Love it. Thank you so much for joining us. Guys, guys and guys.
00:49:30:01 - 00:49:30:10
Filly
If you guys.
00:49:30:10 - 00:49:34:01
Chris
Enjoy. Thanks for coming on. All right.
00:49:34:01 - 00:49:34:16
Filly
We'll see you.
00:49:34:19 - 00:49:44:03
Chris
I see you John. Goodness me. And Dan. So yeah.
00:49:44:05 - 00:49:54:07
Filly
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
00:49:54:09 - 00:50:18:14
Chris
You can also write your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking our Ending Body Burnout assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about that group one on one ending body burnout programs, shoot us a DM via Instagram or Facebook. Have the best day ever.
00:50:18:16 - 00:50:19:01
Chris
For.
