00:00:03:07 - 00:00:16:23
Chris
Hello and welcome to the ending Buddy Burnout show. We are your host, Chris and Filly, co-founders of a multi-award winning functional medicine practice serving busy people with energy, mood and gut issues.
00:00:17:00 - 00:00:24:21
Filly
Well, business, addictive doing, people pleasing and perfectionism might be the norm. It's not normal and it's a major contributor to health issues.
00:00:25:00 - 00:00:38:04
Chris
Our goal with this show is to give you a holistic, root root cause approach to healing your body so that you don't have to continue doctor or diet hopping or popping a gazillion supplements hoping something might stick.
00:00:38:05 - 00:00:40:17
Filly
So get ready to heal your body.
00:00:40:17 - 00:00:41:18
Kimberley
Get your spark.
00:00:41:18 - 00:00:46:07
Filly
Back deeply, connect with yourself, and step into the life of your dreams.
00:00:46:10 - 00:00:55:18
Chris
Let's dive in.
00:00:55:20 - 00:01:27:13
Filly
Hello everybody! Welcome to the party! I am super excited about this episode that is about to be shared into your ears. And our wonderful client, Kimberley has come on to the podcast today to very bravely, honestly and in great detail. She is sharing her healing story with us today. Her her journey throughout the ending body burn out method which has been a journey.
00:01:27:13 - 00:01:59:20
Filly
So when you listen to Kimberley story, you'll soon find out that she had a whole host of weird health issues, early on in life. So the moment that she hit 18 and her adult life, she had debilitating migraines, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, as well as, a lifetime of trauma and her system really being stuck in fight flight.
00:01:59:22 - 00:02:38:07
Filly
And and today we we dig into her journey, what that looks like for her, doing the lab testing physical side of things and how that validated some of these symptoms that she was getting. And then the real healing is a deep healing that happened as she worked through the metaphysical with deeper root causes, identified unconscious core beliefs that was that were perpetuating her old patterns of people pleasing, rescuing over responsibility, perfectionism, type patterns, and and really preventing her body from healing.
00:02:38:07 - 00:03:10:04
Filly
We also dig into what she did to be able to rewire and reprogramme and also clear past traumas, and I just want to say, I mean, I've said it to Kimberley, during the recording, but also just again, how grateful we, that, she was so happy and so open and honest with sharing her story. I know it's going to resonate with a lot of people.
00:03:10:06 - 00:03:32:03
Filly
You'll also hear that that this was a spiritual journey for her as well. So she was really felt like she was led to discovering us. And it's a funny story how she did discover us. It was the very first podcast she'd ever listened to, and it just happened to on her Facebook feed. And she's like, I might listen to that randomly.
00:03:32:03 - 00:04:01:04
Filly
And life has been different ever since. So, as you listen to this, give Kimberley, some virtual energetic love and gratitude and also just a reminder that our doors to our ending buddy burnout method do progress up to the ending buddy Burnout method program. Our six month healing accelerator program. The doors do open next week, which is super exciting.
00:04:01:04 - 00:04:24:06
Filly
We are only open doors three times a year and this is the first time this year doors are only open for seven days. So if you're interested in working with us and you really resonate with, the way that Kimberley has worked through her own healing, of both the physical and the metaphysical and really working on herself in a holistic way.
00:04:24:06 - 00:04:55:04
Filly
If this really resonates with you, I definitely recommend to drop down to the show notes and to pop your name on the white list for the program. If the doors are haven't opened yet, we do have $500 worth of early bird bonuses for that exclusive for those on the waitlist. And also if you're curious to to learn more, to be in our space to get some live, experience of what it is like to work with us.
00:04:55:04 - 00:05:29:04
Filly
And inside our method, we're also hosting a free coaching week next week called Unravel what perfectionism and Body burnout. So this is where we're going to dig in on day one, to the different body systems and the physical imbalances that occur when you're running perfectionism over doing people pleasing type patterns. On day two, we're going to go into identifying the deepest root cause of why you're in a state of body burnout and running these patterns in the first place.
00:05:29:06 - 00:06:05:02
Filly
And on day three, we're going to focus a bit more on lifestyle. So looking at food and move. But in a way that, is it going to be like, do these do that? Although there will be recommendations of how to heal yourself, using food and move if you are in a state of body burnout, but really in a way that's going to help unravel perfectionism, overdoing all or nothing type patterns that can prevent you from healing, cause more burnout, or caused you to go into analysis paralysis or procrastination and not do anything about your health.
00:06:05:04 - 00:06:28:17
Filly
So that'll be fun. And or all these things that we are going to cover in the coaching week is threaded throughout this conversation with Kimberley as well. And then we do have one free webinar as well on Monday the 27th, which is helping you to break through the five most common blocks that people have when it comes to healing.
00:06:28:17 - 00:06:56:14
Filly
So if you'd like to come along to our free coaching experience, we have had people come along to these and actually get so much out of it. Even some transformations, the emails, the comments that we get live on the call and the emails messages afterwards. There are people that are actually having pretty phenomenal shifts with our free live coaching week.
00:06:56:16 - 00:07:22:08
Filly
And, you know, so if you're not even interested in joining the program, I've still come along. And if you are interested, it's a really nice way of just saying if you vibe with the way that we approach healing and and the healing journey. So anyway, let's dive into today's episode with Kimberley.
00:07:22:10 - 00:07:47:02
Chris
Grey guys, and welcome to this episode of The Body Burnout Show. We have a really exciting episode for you today. One of our clients who has worked with us, Kimberley, is joining us today for a little bit of a chat and a and a conversation around her experiences. Thanks so much, everybody, for joining us. And thanks, Kim, for coming on.
00:07:47:04 - 00:07:48:08
Kimberley
Thanks for having me.
00:07:48:10 - 00:08:12:12
Filly
Yay! We are so excited. I've been excited for so long. In fact, I think I asked you ages ago and you're like, not ready yet. And now the time, the time is right. So with most most of our clients who start working with this, there's usually like a backstory. It's pretty rare that someone gets an acute symptom and then they reach out to us.
00:08:12:12 - 00:08:33:11
Filly
A lot of the times there is a bit of a journey leading up to even starting the ending, but even our method program. So you are you happy for some context to share? Like when this all started. Really? Like when your body started showing signs of symptoms and your mental health as well.
00:08:33:13 - 00:09:02:17
Kimberley
Yeah. So I've been putting a lot of thought into, speaking with you and, I knew there was a lot, but it was interesting to actually write it down and try and try and remember and in order of sort of what happened and when and, it's no surprise, really, that I ended up with you. So basically my whole adult life, I've had, health issues.
00:09:02:19 - 00:09:22:23
Kimberley
I moved out of home when I was 18, and I soon realised I couldn't get out of bed. I was feeling like I couldn't get out of bed in the morning and, interestingly, when I think about that time, there was a lot that had gone on. My brother had almost died and had been on life support and in hospital for a number of months.
00:09:22:23 - 00:09:44:03
Kimberley
And, I've had a number of deaths in a short space of time. Even moving out of home was a big deal in itself. So I it to the doctor, and I was quite convinced that he would tell me that I was depressed, and that's why I couldn't get myself out of it. I was certain that that's what he would say, because I certainly like life.
00:09:44:07 - 00:10:24:22
Kimberley
Painted that picture. So he ran some blood tests, and, he discovered that I had low levels of iron. So that was the first I found out that I had glow iron, which has been something I have actually, had issues with sort of on and off over the years. Interestingly too, though, that was probably the first time in my life I realised that he could feel a certain way and have a physical reason for it, which was probably a good thing for me, considering where my life went after that, you know, to actually look for assets rather than just accept, I'm feeling this way because of circumstances or, you know, whatever.
00:10:25:00 - 00:10:46:10
Kimberley
Okay. So anyway, moving on from then, I had bad headaches on and off for a while, which we thought might be caused by wisdom teeth, which were impacted. I had them removed, but the headaches didn't go away. When I was 19, I threw a surprise party for my boyfriend, which was a pretty big deal for 19 year old, and I ended up with the worst migraine I've ever had.
00:10:46:10 - 00:11:13:10
Kimberley
After the party. It was horrendous. The following year I had a few more migraines, but they weren't, consistent and they were very random. I wouldn't have, I wasn't overly concerned. I mean, it was interesting that I was having these migraines, but it wasn't a big worry. A year later, I married my boyfriend, and the first year we were married, my migraine to out of control and we hardly went out.
00:11:13:12 - 00:11:39:22
Kimberley
It was an awful start to being married. It got to the point where people stopped inviting us out and, you know, which was hard as well, because we were only young. And, a family member later told me that, until they had their first experience with migraine, they thought I'd been using it as an excuse to get out of things because, you know, if someone has a bad headache and you know what we need to say thank you.
00:11:40:00 - 00:12:07:06
Kimberley
Yeah, but, these migraines were debilitating. So, at one point, I took leave without pay from work to see specialists and have counselling to see if something would help. Specialists put me on various medications, which really didn't do much. I they only co-signed checks. One medication caused significant weight gain, put on eight kilos in six weeks, but I was hardly eating crazy.
00:12:07:11 - 00:12:23:16
Kimberley
That was also really tough mentally. You know, I was a young woman who'd always been really seemed to all of a sudden jump to dress sizes. I was actually a maid of honour for a good friend, and the dress maker had to come out on the wedding day to adjust my dress.
00:12:23:19 - 00:12:24:10
Filly
Wow.
00:12:24:11 - 00:12:40:04
Kimberley
Because I just kept going on like, wow, which is awful. It was really embarrassing and you know, there was no reason for it. Other than this medication, which actually did nothing for my headaches for my moderate, maybe making was a little married. Yeah, yeah.
00:12:40:08 - 00:12:42:02
Filly
With the stress.
00:12:42:04 - 00:13:02:15
Kimberley
Yeah. So, yeah. And it was, it was really stressful. And the thing that was stressful too, was when I would talk to the specialist and tell her, you know, this isn't working for me. And the response was, oh, well, we'll just try the next medication on the list. You know, there was no real listening to to where I was coming from.
00:13:02:15 - 00:13:25:11
Kimberley
What I was saying was just, okay, next pill. Let's try this. Yeah. And one pill I was put on, was for epileptics and the, the pharmacist actually asked me when I failed the script for the first time why I was feeling it. And I told her it was for migraines, and she was just like, this is the last thing I would try.
00:13:25:14 - 00:13:45:08
Kimberley
Well, And I'd been getting really bad chest pains from it. So after that, I decided to give up that specialist and stop those pills. A year after we were married, my husband was made redundant. And we decided the best option for him was to go back to uni full time. There was no pay out with that redundancy.
00:13:45:09 - 00:14:14:09
Kimberley
So it was it was an interesting time. After unsuccessful, you know, experiences with regular specialist, we found a doctor of environmental science and he started to give me some hope. What he said and the way he approached trading, my health, issues resonated. Interestingly, at my first consult with him, he asked if I was a conscientious person.
00:14:14:11 - 00:14:44:19
Kimberley
He said he often saw that conscientious people ended up with migraines. So I thought, would you be interested in coming? Yeah. So there's something to do, you know, my personality and my patterns. Yes. That's, that connected there with that. I did everything that he said. I took everything he prescribed. I needed him, and I was seeing that I was getting some results.
00:14:44:19 - 00:15:03:23
Kimberley
He really did give me hope. I did elimination diets. I went through desensitisation to certain allergens. A sound of sweets recently, and back in 2003, when our take home pay. But my take home pay was $405 a week. Rob was getting $10 a week. Centrelink rent assistance.
00:15:04:04 - 00:15:06:02
Filly
Wow, is that all I'm asking?
00:15:06:04 - 00:15:06:17
Kimberley
Yeah.
00:15:06:19 - 00:15:08:22
Filly
Thanks, Larry.
00:15:09:00 - 00:15:16:09
Kimberley
Yeah, well, he was my dependent because we were married. Yeah, I'd been living together. He would have gone for the full.
00:15:16:09 - 00:15:18:17
Filly
But anyway.
00:15:18:18 - 00:15:41:02
Kimberley
I say under six. Yeah. Back then and I was spending around $50 a pop on supplements. So the price of supplements hasn't really changed interestingly, since back then, although, you know, compared to our income has at one point I was taking 11 supplements day. I don't know how we managed financially. So did you. We did it. Really?
00:15:41:03 - 00:15:45:17
Filly
Yeah. Like, did you just get credit card. So yeah. Yeah. Just wanting to.
00:15:45:17 - 00:16:05:07
Kimberley
Do you got credit card. Yeah. I just went into debt. Yeah. We sold everything we had. That was worth anything. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. My husband, partly because, you know, he was going to uni, and we needed, he needed a computer as well, but he sold a car that he had. We sold everything we could to get through that year.
00:16:05:09 - 00:16:28:00
Filly
Can I, can I ask a couple of questions? Because I know that there will definitely be people who are like, oh, I really I really need to do something, but I just can't afford it. And whether that's a story or it's actually reality is, yeah. How did like what was your reasoning or logic being around? I can do this.
00:16:28:00 - 00:16:36:01
Filly
I'm going to find the money even if I go into debt. Like I'm just curious what was happening in your psyche.
00:16:36:02 - 00:16:51:07
Kimberley
I had to do something. Yeah, I had I, I'm not I actually am a very conservative person when it comes to money. My husband and I are, so it's not, we've.
00:16:51:07 - 00:16:51:17
Filly
Had many.
00:16:51:17 - 00:17:15:01
Kimberley
Money. I wasn't. Yeah. And it wasn't an easy like, on the one hand, it wasn't an easy decision. And yet on the other hand, it was just something I had to do. Like, my migraines were so bad that I could understand I wasn't suicidal, but I could understand how people would get to the point in life for different reasons of choosing to in this world.
00:17:15:02 - 00:17:40:14
Kimberley
Like, I was really good and this doctor was. He gave me hope. I was seeing some results. I, I felt I had no other option but to pursue that. I guess it was part of me that, you know, Rob was at uni, but at the same time, we knew one day he'd have an income again and we could deal with it later.
00:17:40:16 - 00:18:00:08
Kimberley
I never thought of bankruptcy, but we had nothing else, so I suppose I could have claimed it. I don't know, I just think it was just a matter of. But we just had to. You just had to do it. It was like it was a matter of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just. Yeah, it just was, so.
00:18:00:10 - 00:18:21:12
Kimberley
We would joke that our dates were at the local hospital emergency, where he'd take insulin injections to stop me vomiting when the pain was too bad. Which for too often I had chronic fatigue, which continued on and off over the years. And then when I was around 23, the migraines stopped. They just stopped one day.
00:18:21:14 - 00:18:36:02
Filly
Do you now, knowing everything that you know about yourself and the deeper root causes which you'll get into later? Have you ever, like, thought back in hindsight? It's like, oh, that's why they stopped.
00:18:36:04 - 00:19:05:20
Kimberley
So dinner. I went to the lady. I was actually her assistant. And, I was having days off with my migraines, and she came to me one day and said, come face to face with me and said, you have got to stop having migraines. Oh, you cannot be having days off. And I remember thinking she was saying it from a place of, mean anxiety because she needed me.
00:19:05:22 - 00:19:33:22
Kimberley
She needed me to help her. And I could see that's where it was coming from. But in, I actually kind of spoke to me somehow it really shaped me like that part of me thought if only, if only I could just start and stop having days off, you know, like and maybe she didn't even fully accept the truth behind the reality of what my days at home with a migraine actually look like.
00:19:34:00 - 00:20:03:15
Kimberley
You know, this is just having a sticky, I don't know, but, but those words, they did strike a chord. And I do wonder, I can't pinpoint a conscious change in thinking or behaviour or anything, but I do wonder what happened at that point that they did stop. Yeah. I don't know.
00:20:03:17 - 00:20:21:04
Filly
I mean, I'm like, you know, I wasn't back there in 23 years old to have a conversation with 23 year old Kimberley. But yes, I wonder if it was something to do with, maybe people pleasing, rescuing over responsibility patterns that I'm sure we'll talk about a little bit later.
00:20:21:09 - 00:20:22:07
Kimberley
Yeah, yeah.
00:20:22:12 - 00:20:44:02
Filly
That was almost like the unconscious mind was like, oh, it's been like, I've been protecting Kimberley by keeping her at home. But actually now there's a real need to get her to step up and to help this person. I don't know, I'm just like, oh, that's interesting. So it's like, oh, okay. Well it's safe. Like it's it's it's almost like, yeah, putting the energy in.
00:20:44:02 - 00:21:17:21
Kimberley
Like we were more established in our marriage by then and my husband was working then you know. Yeah, possibly. I don't know anyway. But I do think. Yeah, I don't have the answer, but I do think there must have been a shift with. Yes, what I know now. And and like I said, even that comment, there's something about that comment that always stuck with me and and, you know, it spoke to me so I didn't get my driver's license to I was 24, which was interesting.
00:21:17:23 - 00:21:35:19
Kimberley
I was on painkillers so often that I didn't feel confident to drive. We'd been told to hold off having children because my body was in such a mess. My liver wasn't working well. And then, of course, on top of the pain, which meant I could hardly look after myself. Sometimes, And all I ever wanted to do was to be a mom.
00:21:35:20 - 00:21:57:01
Kimberley
So to say I was okay with putting it off, I suppose, because I wasn't old, you know, I had plenty of time ahead of me, but but that was a thing in itself. We had our first baby just before I turned 26, and she had health issues of her own and didn't sleep. When she was two, she was diagnosed with sleep apnoea.
00:21:57:03 - 00:22:15:15
Kimberley
She had a tonsils and adenoids removed just before our second child was born. And in the first five years of being parents, my husband and I literally had it in the house all night. It's like I would say we could have counted on two hands. The number of full nights of sleep we had in the first five years.
00:22:15:15 - 00:22:43:20
Kimberley
No exaggeration. And that caused problems too, for our health and for my husband's health. I mean you need like, I wasn't very well when I was pregnant with our first child. I vomited pretty regularly and was very tired. But my second pregnancy was awful. I vomited all the time right up until the end. I remember being with husband one day and saying, do you ask about my vomit of the morning?
00:22:43:20 - 00:22:51:08
Kimberley
You know, if you want to study, you better pray this is a boy because I'm not doing it again. It's shocking.
00:22:51:10 - 00:22:53:04
Filly
I don't think you ended up having any boys.
00:22:53:04 - 00:22:54:08
Kimberley
Did you?
00:22:54:10 - 00:22:55:13
Filly
You just got girls.
00:22:55:15 - 00:23:29:06
Kimberley
And the girls. So, Yeah. So I would lie around as much as I could. And I had a very energetic cuddle, so that wasn't often, my second child, moved into the wrong position, at around 36 weeks gestation. So we ended up having a C-section because I've had an emergency first time around. After the caesarean, my uterus wouldn't contract and I had multiple, blood transfusions.
00:23:29:08 - 00:23:56:01
Kimberley
After three bags, my veins of blood in my veins collapsed, and I wasn't able to have any more. The doctor wanted me to have more because my count hadn't come up as much as he would have liked. But, it wasn't an option. And then I checked, bleeding excessively for about 12 months after their birth. Well, so I had a procedure which, which stopped the bleeding.
00:23:56:03 - 00:24:16:16
Kimberley
That was all an interesting time to. Because I was told I couldn't have more children, and, I was like, can't you just go? I'm going and plan a hysterectomy. If I haven't said, like, can't you just go in and just do it all at once? And they're like, no, well, you need to be stable enough for us to do that, and we don't think you will be.
00:24:16:18 - 00:24:46:20
Kimberley
And, we were by then, we weren't in a great place in our marriage either. You know, all of this had taken its toll, the financial pressures and the sleepless nights and and, the health issues impacting life and the people pleasing performance, that, you know, presenting with not wanting to let family down and saying yes to everything we could and doing too much and, so I went through a stage.
00:24:46:20 - 00:25:10:23
Kimberley
Then when I really felt like I was used goods, I couldn't have children anymore, which was all I had wanted in my life ever to do, was to have babies. And, I had a husband, too. I didn't know if he loved me anymore. And, you know, health was not great. And it was it was a pretty low time.
00:25:11:01 - 00:25:32:01
Kimberley
So a little while after, she was born, my second, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. And the worst of the pain that I would have would be in my arms if I had to lift my arms to hang washing on the floor line. It was almost unbearable. Sometimes the pain was just unreal, like through my whole body and the fatigue.
00:25:32:03 - 00:25:59:10
Kimberley
I mean, I'd had chronic fatigue on and off, but this was intense. If I tried to push myself too hard, I could end up in bed for days absolutely wiped out, which wasn't helpful with two small children. It hurt just to be touched. I remember one mum commenting once that when she went to hug me that I'd pull away, and I think she was feeling like I didn't want to hug her and was wondering why, you know, I was behaving that way because I was usually a touchy feely person.
00:25:59:13 - 00:26:21:17
Kimberley
I was I'm a hugger. And, and I explained to her that just to touch my skin would hurt, like everything hurt. I didn't realise I was pulling away from being hugged, but you know, everything hurts somewhere along the way. I had a bleed from the bath. I had had a tummy, touchy tummy on and off over the years.
00:26:21:17 - 00:26:47:15
Kimberley
But this particular occasion had a big problem and I ended up having a colonoscopy, an endoscopy. I was diagnosed with irritable bowel and medicated, as I was on the verge of stomach ulcers. So they gave me something to take for that. Further down the track, I started having anaphylactic reactions. We don't know what. We don't know what the immunologist came up with.
00:26:47:15 - 00:27:19:02
Kimberley
The reason he felt could be a cause, which I'll get to in a minute. But I had had some higher stress moments around that time, and I could see connection to the high stress points and these anaphylactic reactions. Yeah. So the immunologist thought I might have Helicobacter pylori. A bug in my gut. As in his experience, he he had seen, people have anaphylaxis, with this H.
00:27:19:02 - 00:27:45:12
Kimberley
Pylori. So, he treated me with antibiotics, we ran bloods. We found that, yes, the cat was high. So he decided to treat me with antibiotics for the H. Pylori. I was allergic to a lot of antibiotics. And the second, type they tried, didn't kill the bug. I had an endoscopy some time later, and the gastroenterologist took a sample and grew a culture.
00:27:45:14 - 00:28:11:07
Kimberley
Apparently, sometimes I can't grow culture, but I managed to grow a culture to try and pinpoint the antibiotics to use. We tried the what was considered the best option? Best. But it didn't work. And the alternative options were really hardcore antibiotics. The gastroenterologist told me that they would wipe out my system if we used them, and he really wouldn't want to touch them.
00:28:11:07 - 00:28:33:11
Kimberley
I think once used for TB and one might be used for malaria. Wow. And by that point in time, I was so over us, over trying to take these antibiotics to treat it. And, you know, mostly I know it's not a good thing to have, but mostly it wasn't causing symptoms. And in the big scheme of everything that was going on, I just put that in the too hard basket.
00:28:33:12 - 00:28:59:23
Kimberley
Yeah. So my health continued to be complicated. I had various autoimmune disease symptoms, skin growths and other symptoms that were obvious. You know, that, I would go to the doctor and he could see what I was talking about. But whenever we would go to a specialist, they couldn't diagnose an umbrella condition. So. But today, it seems I've always had random symptoms, but rarely an explanation.
00:29:00:03 - 00:29:09:03
Kimberley
Yeah, yeah. Story of my life has been. I think I've had basically two until recently.
00:29:09:03 - 00:29:13:15
Filly
But until recently. Okay. So then at this point in like.
00:29:13:15 - 00:29:14:01
Chris
Can I just.
00:29:14:01 - 00:29:15:13
Filly
Jump in? Yeah. Go for it.
00:29:15:15 - 00:29:50:06
Chris
Thank you. That was. Yeah. And I know so some of our listeners are probably like whoa whoa whoa okay okay. And like the list. Yeah. Like really resonating with, what you've said, but, I, I think from, like a quantity perspective, we're not just talking about I had a thing happen, you know, like it was a it were there were I just wrote I've been writing notes.
00:29:50:08 - 00:29:54:21
Chris
I got, I got a full page of notes. Right.
00:29:54:23 - 00:30:01:11
Kimberley
And there's more I haven't included. This is just one. Right. This is just. Yeah.
00:30:01:16 - 00:30:02:07
Chris
And and.
00:30:02:10 - 00:30:03:05
Kimberley
I just.
00:30:03:07 - 00:30:24:20
Chris
I think, yeah, there's there was a lot going on and, and I think, some of our listeners, might be in two camps. It's like, I don't have that much stuff going on, or some might be like, wow, that's me. I, I feel like that's me. So, so I just wanted to say, just address that and just say thank.
00:30:24:21 - 00:30:35:00
Chris
Thank you so much for for sharing this. Sorry. That was my little, little, input there. Just thank you so much for sharing. Sharing that.
00:30:35:02 - 00:30:48:21
Filly
Yeah. Even though it might not be in its entirety, it's still in detail enough to say like, this wasn't this wasn't just A11 thing. It was an accumulation of stuff happening over time. Yeah, causing a lot of issues.
00:30:48:22 - 00:30:58:09
Kimberley
It was. And we at the same time, I can understand half any number of those one things for one person, you know, can still be huge too. Yeah.
00:30:58:09 - 00:31:13:22
Filly
That's so true. Yeah. Okay. So then 2023 came along and this is when when we met as well. Now you have a pretty incredible story in terms of how you came into our story. So you're happy to share it because I think it's just so yeah.
00:31:14:02 - 00:31:51:11
Kimberley
Oh yeah. So in so the start of 2023, I kept having this thought I need to deal with H. Pylori. It was more like you need to deal with H. Pylori and your past and they were together. You need to deal with your Helicobacter pylori and your past and, that's fun for me. I'm a Christian and I believe in God, and for me, this was 100% a God thing, but 100% him leading me with where to go next.
00:31:51:13 - 00:32:16:00
Kimberley
And the thought would come to me on repeat, but I kept thinking, that's a little bit how? How the heck? So one thing, my parts like trauma and stress. So stuff that needed to be dealt with was huge. And then that H. Pylori, you know, I've had I've grown a grown a culture from an endoscopy, you know, like we tried antibiotics.
00:32:16:00 - 00:32:27:09
Kimberley
I knew what the doctor had said were the next options for the antibiotic. So I was like, oh, this is a one and a half. I don't know where to start. But it kept coming at me. And then it did come to my mind. You know, I'd be washing the dishes going to because you need to deal with your H.
00:32:27:09 - 00:32:54:19
Kimberley
Pylori and your past. And then around June, July, August in 2023, I'd been feeling really flat, like, not at all myself. I thought perhaps it was the closest to feeling depressed that I had been. I felt just so damn. But I, I am not someone who suffers depression. And so I was like, this isn't me. This isn't who I am.
00:32:54:21 - 00:33:16:14
Kimberley
There's got to be a reason for this feeling. So, I thought something's changed in my body. So I went and saw the GP, and and I actually, I love and respect my GP, and I told him how I was feeling, and I asked if he could please run some blood tests. I'd also been experiencing nausea quite regularly, so I suspected.
00:33:16:15 - 00:33:38:09
Kimberley
I suspected the pylori obviously was still there because of this thought that kept coming to mind, and the fact that I knew I'd never really dealt with it. He ran blood tests and found there was no reason for me to be feeling fat in the blood. The Bloods didn't show that I still had the H. Pylori, which probably explained the nausea.
00:33:38:11 - 00:34:02:08
Kimberley
The blood sugar. The blood tests showed my blood sugar levels were high, and we discussed my weight, which had increased in the previous year. And I was, you know, a bit overweight at the time. So we discussed losing weight, which would also, potentially the change of diet would help with the dropping blood sugar levels. I had had bad signs regularly.
00:34:02:08 - 00:34:45:13
Kimberley
We didn't really discuss this at the time, but it was also going on. I'd had bad sinus, which, responded well to any histamine, so I felt it was some type of, you know, allergic. Something going on. To be honest, it was since having Covid in 2022 that I felt like I kept having terrible sinus. I'm now not sure how much of that was the physical change post Covid, and how much was a metaphysical response to having had Covid in the whole Covid life and existence and well, we were living in, so for a while I was taking any histamine almost every day for quite long periods, on and off.
00:34:45:15 - 00:35:25:16
Kimberley
And then came the day that I had, of course, in theory, I'd never really listen to podcasts before. I'm, I'm a visual person, so I'm not. I hadn't really sort of started the whole whole, audio book or podcast bandwagon. But I follow Joey Tin from Quirky Cooking on Facebook, and she advertised a podcast that she had between herself and Tilly, and it caught my attention and I decided to listen, and it honestly changed my life cycle.
00:35:25:18 - 00:35:50:11
Kimberley
It was it was the start of all of this big change. And the answer to my you need to deal with your Laurie and your past. So he was really telling Joe all about the ending body burn out programme method and, digging into, root causes for all kinds of health issues, which I had had all kinds of health issues and really mentioned that she herself had had H.
00:35:50:11 - 00:36:04:12
Kimberley
Pylori and had gotten rid of it naturally. So here I was. I felt like, here's someone who's talking about the two things, and I needed to do my past and I H pylori, you know, one podcast.
00:36:04:13 - 00:36:06:17
Filly
It's crazy.
00:36:06:19 - 00:36:09:20
Kimberley
Even now, I just, yeah.
00:36:09:23 - 00:36:10:15
Filly
I got it's.
00:36:10:16 - 00:36:37:23
Kimberley
Crazy. Yeah. So I signed up for the three day, session that you were running around the same time. And I think before the sessions even finished, I knew that I needed to sign up. It was funny, though, because because I, was well-practiced at putting everyone and everything before myself. I tried to stop my husband in Sonia and.
00:36:38:01 - 00:36:40:06
Filly
I remember that. Yes.
00:36:40:08 - 00:36:50:19
Kimberley
Yeah. And I knew we could only afford for one of us to do it at the time. And so I thought, oh, look, he really needs some help. He should go and do this. Even though even once I.
00:36:50:20 - 00:36:52:23
Filly
Had this, even though you got your spiritual.
00:36:52:23 - 00:37:15:19
Kimberley
And so I don't I know and I'm like, oh, you know, you should really do this. And he takes a very long time to make decisions. And the doors are getting close. Yeah. I'm not below this. I'm just going to sell myself out. And that that was part of this whole change for me. Even that even from then going, you know, what are these?
00:37:15:19 - 00:37:22:11
Kimberley
I'm just going to do this for me because I have like, those door closed, doors closed, and missed this chance to sign up.
00:37:22:12 - 00:37:45:08
Filly
Yeah, yeah. That is so cool. So cool. So the first the first step in our method is getting answers. And you already got a lot of answers. And there are a lot of things to that is just like we don't really know why you're feeling this way. Yeah. So yeah. So in the method we're working on the physical and also the data metaphysical.
00:37:45:12 - 00:38:08:21
Filly
And I always like it's a nice it's a nice way to start in terms of like let's run some labs. Let's see if there's anything that's missing that hasn't been addressed or looked at. It's a quick wean. You just have to give some body samples, fluids and then it's like ding, we have some answers that go beyond what GP's and medical specialists for.
00:38:08:23 - 00:38:20:23
Filly
So. So from a body system point of view, I happy to share what showed up on your lab tests, how you felt, how it might have validated how you're feeling.
00:38:21:00 - 00:38:27:11
Kimberley
Yeah. So my stress levels were so high that even doing the tests was really stressful.
00:38:27:11 - 00:38:29:14
Filly
Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah.
00:38:29:16 - 00:38:35:07
Kimberley
I was I was worried that I wouldn't put enough saliva. And seems I.
00:38:35:07 - 00:38:37:03
Filly
Wouldn't do it right. I.
00:38:37:05 - 00:39:06:10
Kimberley
I wouldn't do it right. Yeah. Somehow I could mess up a painting and and saliva test. Yeah. So I was a bit strung out about doing the tests, and then I thought, like, like this. I just have to eat anything but do it. Yeah. So, we did the test for, the adrenals. So I wasn't really surprised when we found that I had the adrenal fatigue.
00:39:06:12 - 00:39:12:07
Filly
Yeah. Like, stress hormones running on high. Probably from the day that you were born.
00:39:12:09 - 00:39:37:07
Kimberley
Yeah, pretty much like, definitely like, I was a highly strung kid, and, for lots of reasons, including trauma. I've probably been in fight or flight mode the majority of my life. Moving from one trauma to another. So. And I've always been an empathetic person as well. So there's the people pleasing perfectionist patterns that were there absolutely.
00:39:37:09 - 00:39:52:09
Kimberley
Putting everyone else first. Always. But also taking on other people's feelings and emotions. I really carry that, and then I'd feel responsible for those feelings somehow, which was causing a lot of stress.
00:39:52:11 - 00:40:08:19
Filly
Which is huge when you're carrying a lot of stuff for yourself, like everything that you just talked about with the health issues plus past traumas, like that's a lot of stuff to carry for one human being, let alone like the whole world's feelings and emotions.
00:40:08:21 - 00:40:36:00
Kimberley
Yeah. Like I, I was over the top. Like I could drive down the street and see someone walking along the road. And just like I don't, I just take on what was going on for them. Sounds crazy, I know, but yeah. So the most, probably the most validating thing for me was when we found that I had low don't mean low adrenaline and serotonin because that explain why I was feeling so low.
00:40:36:03 - 00:40:57:01
Kimberley
That's why I went to the doctor and asked for a blood test. It was that feeling of flat that I had. So that explained that that real physical change that I knew had happened in my body. And I've, I've always been quite sensitive to my physical changes, even though a lot going on, I can be quite intuitive to, to these things.
00:40:57:01 - 00:41:19:00
Kimberley
So when I went to the doctor and I asked him to, to do the test, you know, to see what was wrong, I was, when the Bloods didn't show anything. I'm. I knew there was something that changed. Yeah. So that was probably, the most validating and exciting to me was when he found that, my diet, meaning my adrenaline and my serotonin was low.
00:41:19:02 - 00:41:25:16
Kimberley
Yeah, that was a real answer. Yeah. Then I had something I could do something with. Yeah, yeah, that's how I feel.
00:41:25:18 - 00:42:03:17
Filly
And the neurotransmitters and also the adrenals. It's almost like this, this cross-breed with the physical and the metaphysical or the body and the mind, because it is a physical organ and it is producing hormones and chemicals, but then also it's so intricately connected with the deeper unconscious baggage, repressed emotions, processed trauma side of things as well, because, like, essentially it just gets you stuck in fight flight and then these, these parts of the body which support good mood and energy and motivation and, feel good feelings.
00:42:03:17 - 00:42:13:21
Filly
It's just kind of like, you know, you've got this physical stuckness, but also this metaphysical stuckness at the same time.
00:42:13:23 - 00:42:21:01
Kimberley
So, yeah. So I guess that was the main thing that came up for me with the tense. Yeah.
00:42:21:03 - 00:42:43:05
Filly
So when we get body system lab test back, our big question is always why, why, why did this happen in the first place? I mean, because you could stop. You could stop it. Just taking a bucketload of supplements again, which in the past you responded to, but it still wasn't addressing the deeper reason as to why the body systems were burning out in the first place.
00:42:43:07 - 00:43:11:21
Filly
So you can outsource the root cause. Sorry. Next step is, well, let's dig into the deeper root causes. And there's always like levels and layers of that as well. So there's more surface level ones, things that we can see how we're eating, moving sleeping toxins in our environment, which is all really important for pillars of health. But what a lot of people miss or aren't even aware of is what's happening at an unconscious point of view.
00:43:11:21 - 00:43:34:17
Filly
And the deeper beliefs that we have about ourselves and the internal tigers that are constantly chasing and running around our nervous system without us even realising what's happening. So are you happy to, to dig into the root cause? What was the root root cause for you, and how did you get there? How did it feel when you found it?
00:43:34:19 - 00:43:56:14
Kimberley
Yeah. So. So I've gone back. I have some notes, that you sent me. You know, after each, session we'd have together and, I guess, like, there's so many things when we decide to make a change of why is important. And in my notes, I had that my why was because I wanted to live, not just be alive.
00:43:56:16 - 00:44:16:02
Kimberley
I want to enjoy my children before they grow up. And I want to show my kids how to live. I really want to show my kids how to live. I want to show them there's more to life than just surviving and just, you know, getting up each day and running this bracelet. We so often get in the habit of causing calling life when there's nothing, you know?
00:44:16:07 - 00:44:25:18
Kimberley
Yeah, a lot like about it. So, so for me, I felt like to start it was pretty short and sweet, to be honest.
00:44:25:19 - 00:44:28:17
Filly
You got results really quickly.
00:44:28:19 - 00:44:36:15
Kimberley
I did well, I felt like I did was I was shocked, I, I said, oh, this would be, you know, be harmonised in no notes.
00:44:36:16 - 00:44:38:04
Filly
Like two months. I'm done.
00:44:38:06 - 00:45:07:03
Kimberley
Who are there? Yeah. So I had my initial consult with you fully in September, and I think the weekly workshop sessions with both affiliates started around the same time when we started going through the actual program is group, setting aside at the time, on Wednesday night's program in itself was part of the process for me. We made Wednesday night takeaway not I would get I would order tea so that everyone was fed and I didn't have to put the energy into it.
00:45:07:03 - 00:45:38:07
Kimberley
And then I would go in on shut myself in my office and I'd get on the grape course. Awesome. And putting that time side was a big part of the process for me, to be honest. So, and just recognising that I was important enough to take the time out, and put the attention on me, so I could tap into my thoughts and feelings and, and forget about, you know, every everybody else's problems that was often all consuming.
00:45:38:09 - 00:46:12:14
Kimberley
And then ultimately in my subconscious. And it was part of, teaching me to trust myself, that I was going to look after myself. I really needed to, to feel that in every cell of my body that I was making myself important. And I was looking after me. So I started in early September, and by the 26th of October, I had my I am statement and my deepest, very belief who got me to say faster was a quick I got it.
00:46:12:19 - 00:46:15:16
Kimberley
Yeah. I didn't really know, but.
00:46:15:18 - 00:46:29:00
Filly
It took a little while, though it took a while for you to be able to really land on it. You're like, I think it's that, but I don't really know. And then I remember there was, I don't know if it was in a group call or an email or something, but it's like, oh, this is it.
00:46:29:01 - 00:46:41:11
Chris
Also for our listeners. And I am statement is a is a statement of belief about yourself identity. And it really rules the roost. It controls the whole show doesn't it.
00:46:41:12 - 00:47:13:10
Kimberley
Yeah. Yeah. So so I mean I've been, I've been very open to be honest, I just, I, I spy goes in absolutely headfirst and is really paying attention to the thoughts that started to flow as soon as I started the program. If I had a thought, you know, and, and thought and really dig deeper into it and questioned why I was having that thought and where it was coming from, I wasn't discounting the things that were coming to mind, which I think was important.
00:47:13:12 - 00:47:22:05
Kimberley
I started doing the meditations using the app, that came as part of the program, which was something I'd never done before. I'd never meditated before.
00:47:22:05 - 00:47:29:19
Filly
I think that was one of your things, too. When you like, do I have to do that part before you joined up, I think, yeah. The question around that.
00:47:29:21 - 00:47:41:07
Kimberley
Yeah. And, and I found that it was actually really relaxing and thought provoking. It was really just this beautiful, guided.
00:47:41:09 - 00:48:03:23
Kimberley
Relaxing story, I guess. But I just thought narratives that would bring, you know, these thoughts to mind from the subconscious. And then and then I could ask questions and then I could really, you know, focus on and concentrate on the, sometimes I'd have a word or thought come up, that I just wouldn't be able to ignore.
00:48:04:01 - 00:48:28:08
Kimberley
And if it kept coming up, I knew I really couldn't ignore. So I gave it the time and space it needed. And, and I go deeper and discover why the thought was coming up one night during a Wednesday night. Great call when you feel you were reading through a list of possible cause beliefs a person might have about themselves.
00:48:28:10 - 00:48:50:12
Kimberley
And the list was also sort of put up on the screen to read. A number of ideas were listed, and then what am I found? I don't matter on page. And I immediately became emotional. And there was a knowing that this was my belief about myself, that I don't matter. And I felt really sad for little Kimberley.
00:48:50:12 - 00:49:16:20
Kimberley
I actually went just straight to my younger self. I just maybe, maybe being a mum helped with that, I don't know, but just for this child that was within who decided this about themselves that myself. When it was a straight up lie, I knew it was a lie. I knew consciously it was a lie. But. But I also knew that it was true to me.
00:49:16:22 - 00:49:38:13
Kimberley
I wanted to apologise to younger Kimberley and love her. I wanted to tell her that she didn't matter and that she didn't need to keep believing this lie about self. I mean, after the call, I went into my husband and my daughter after getting off the call and I told them I figured it out. I said, I feel like I don't matter and my husband was like, of course you matter.
00:49:38:15 - 00:49:53:17
Kimberley
You know, a good husband that is cool enough. And my daughter, he's she's 16 and she, we often call her the wise one. She said, an interesting child. She said, see that female?
00:49:53:19 - 00:49:54:01
Filly
Can see.
00:49:54:01 - 00:49:55:12
Kimberley
That for you. And I was.
00:49:55:12 - 00:50:00:03
Filly
Like, as in, she can see that. How that plays out for you.
00:50:00:05 - 00:50:06:02
Kimberley
Yes, yes, she could see that. She could see it the way I lived was as if I felt I didn't matter.
00:50:06:03 - 00:50:08:00
Filly
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.
00:50:08:05 - 00:50:29:19
Kimberley
And so. Yeah. And, and and if you think that this comes back to also my like showing them how like I want them to know how to leave. Like even just having this conversation, finding this about myself, having this conversation with her and, okay, so now I know this about myself, I'm going to do something about it, you know, because that's not okay.
00:50:29:21 - 00:50:42:08
Kimberley
And so we started we talked together, and I cried and cried and, we actually started as a family identifying core beliefs that we had better. So. So wow. That's awesome. That's so cool.
00:50:42:10 - 00:50:45:19
Filly
That's like ripples of healing.
00:50:45:21 - 00:51:19:03
Kimberley
Yeah. And and even now, sometimes, you know, the same daughter of mine, she can't go. Oh. So I've just recognised this about myself. And you know, what should I do? And we'll talk it through and, Yeah, it's really it's it's it's changed our family. It this, this, this idea of, going use the word control. I don't know if it's right, but, you know, being controlled by this, this internal belief, whatever it is.
00:51:19:05 - 00:51:39:10
Kimberley
And then the impact that that's having on us, like, I, I feel like I'm starting to this as a family, shake stuff off quicker than we would have in the past. Because we're, we're almost looking for it to. Yeah, we're looking where we are. We're looking for the we're questioning these things. If you had the thought of the feeling, it's like, well, where did that come from?
00:51:39:12 - 00:51:49:12
Kimberley
And, you know, what could this mean for me? And, and, and getting rid of it before it takes root so it doesn't become a root cause belief circle.
00:51:49:14 - 00:52:09:19
Filly
Can I, can I say something as well? It's just so interesting that that, that the deepest root belief was I don't matter. And then the thing that almost caused you not to join the program, yeah, was the very root of the belief. It's just like, oh, I don't matter enough that you do. Husband has been you do it.
00:52:09:19 - 00:52:12:09
Filly
You do it, you do it.
00:52:12:11 - 00:52:35:16
Kimberley
Absolutely. And I think that's why when I say like even just putting the time aside and doing it like every for me because of what my root cause belief ended up being, every part of doing the program, every time I would listen to a meditation and put myself first and do that every step I took was, in a way, teaching myself that you actually do matter.
00:52:35:16 - 00:52:39:07
Kimberley
So it was get exactly, absolutely every time.
00:52:39:09 - 00:52:47:05
Filly
Yeah. Reprogramming, rewiring, giving the unconscious mind like new evidence. It's like, no I do I do matter.
00:52:47:07 - 00:53:12:20
Kimberley
Yeah. Yes. Maybe maybe that's partly why I have responded well to it, I don't know. And then, sorry, my school. I in a statement did take a bit longer. So to find so that, I don't matter. I was quite quick coming up with that and then, the I, statement, which I didn't tell you about, I was like, correct.
00:53:12:22 - 00:53:41:20
Kimberley
And I am statement was that I am invisible and I don't matter. Yeah. And this is going to sound crazy because I literally have had times in my life where I have felt invisible, where I been, say, walking through a shop, and then someone has maybe once or twice before. So someone I don't know very well, but I'll see them sort of coming towards you, near me, on the opposite side of the of the shopping mall and, and kind of question, I wonder, I wonder if they'll notice me.
00:53:41:20 - 00:53:50:15
Kimberley
I wonder if they'll say hello. What am I like? Actually, I almost felt invisible when really? Why should they not notice me if I've noticed them?
00:53:50:17 - 00:54:08:01
Filly
Well, it's a good example of the deepest core belief is the machine that drives everything. So it's then how you perceive yourself in your existence in this world. So of course, of course, like it would be like, oh, maybe I don't see me. Am I invisible? Yeah. It's like, well, yeah, that's what your unconscious believes to be true.
00:54:08:01 - 00:54:11:03
Filly
That's going to play out in your real life.
00:54:11:05 - 00:54:47:03
Kimberley
Yeah. Yeah. So yes. So that was my I am the I'm invisible and I don't matter. And in the program we talk about, I choose to know statement about myself. So what we decide to know about ourself and I wrote and I choose to know statement and writing it in itself had a huge impact. And when I went a long way to me letting go of this belief about myself, just putting the words on paper about myself, and reading it aloud also helped a lot.
00:54:47:05 - 00:55:16:06
Kimberley
That I found that that's available with the program, with the anybody burned out method was also really helpful. The nervous system regulation activities were really great and had like a big impact. Coming up with a safety anchor is one of the activities that really helped me a lot. Because of my deepest root cause, belief was I really had to stop showing myself self-love.
00:55:16:08 - 00:55:42:02
Kimberley
And doing things that are important to me and loving myself and stuff like putting a stop to putting everything out first and being a martyr. I had to stop prioritising myself and showing me that I could trust me to listen and act on what my needs. Which was an interesting way to, start living, because it was very unusual for me.
00:55:42:04 - 00:55:43:09
Kimberley
00:55:43:10 - 00:56:08:03
Filly
So cool. Okay. So. Yeah. So all of this happened really quick for you. And we'll get into next chapters in a bit. What what challenges, what challenges did you have? Because everyone I mean, it's pretty rare that someone's just like, did the thing and bang! Yay, everything's better. What what challenges did you have to overcome? Or I was.
00:56:08:03 - 00:56:31:11
Kimberley
Like, that would be me. At that point, I was hoping that we're going to see, the first challenge I had to come either, that I had to overcome was not really something to overcome, but rather something to accept. So when I received my first delivery of supplements, I felt really rebellious. And I'm not a rebellious person.
00:56:31:11 - 00:56:51:13
Kimberley
I am a people pleaser. And I you know, if the sign says don't step on the grass, I do not step on the grass. Like, and, you know, in the past I've done all these diets and taken out of pills and done all the things exactly how I was supposed to do it. And anyway, I received the parcel, supplements to take it.
00:56:51:13 - 00:57:13:21
Kimberley
I did not want to take them. And I dug my heels in and, I don't know how long I had started taking them, but I, I remember they sat on the bench for a while. It's so funny. And, and I was also supposed to change my diet to a healing diet for the adrenal fatigue. And I did it to an extent, but I did not do it perfectly.
00:57:13:23 - 00:57:41:22
Kimberley
I did give up coffee, which was huge. I had an awful headache, probably two weeks. It was shocking. Otherwise, I did what I could, but I didn't kill myself to get everything right, which was really strange for me. Usually I would have gone in to do everything perfectly, and I would have been riddled with guilt, as if the whole world knew that I was being naughty and didn't treat things the way I should have been doing it.
00:57:42:00 - 00:57:54:07
Kimberley
And I remember bringing it up with you. Silly. My my appointments. And I was like, what's wrong with me? And, you pointed out that you thought I was probably breaking perfectionist patterns, which I was. Yeah.
00:57:54:07 - 00:58:18:13
Filly
Well, the reason behind that too, was that you didn't have, like, the the guilt and the angst that you probably would have in the past or it's like, oh my gosh, I'm so bad. I'm not doing the right thing the way that you the conversation that we had, it was actually very you just looking at it curiously, it's like, oh, this is so interesting that you didn't feel like you're a naughty little schoolgirl that didn't do her homework.
00:58:18:15 - 00:58:24:23
Kimberley
Then I would have I literally would have felt like the whole world would in the past. Yeah, yeah.
00:58:24:23 - 00:58:42:12
Filly
So in a way, it was sort of like I just, I viewed it and I think you did in the end to it's like this is actually just healing because like, you can be in this space and do things imperfectly, maybe be slower to take action and be okay with that and know that you still matter and that you're important and that you're wonderful.
00:58:42:15 - 00:59:09:18
Kimberley
And I think that was the time I felt like I started just being rather than striving all the time and just to just be, which was really nice. Yeah. And then, so I signed up for the ending body body burnout method in September 20th 5th October, I had my iron statement on the 11th of November when I had my appointment with you.
00:59:09:19 - 00:59:30:14
Kimberley
Silly. I told you I was feeling the most relaxed I had ever felt in my adult life, and and the tiger stopped chasing me, and I had this inner peace and a tangible calm about me. And I can still remember the cold and the newness of that feeling. I can still remember, like said, this is how I I've not been before.
00:59:30:16 - 00:59:32:21
Kimberley
I have this calmness, peace.
00:59:32:23 - 00:59:40:20
Filly
And your physical senses had changed as well. Like the sinusitis I think from memory had gone. Yeah, there was more energy. Yeah.
00:59:40:22 - 01:00:08:08
Kimberley
Yeah. Early on, like the energy levels just became, consistent throughout the day, which was just unheard of before. So that was the 11th of November. And then on the 15th of November, four days after appointment, my family discovered that my brother had died. His loss and now his death. A huge part of who I am.
01:00:08:10 - 01:00:36:13
Kimberley
And the shock was huge. I literally felt like I was somewhat brain damaged for weeks following his death. Like my I just my brain just didn't function normally. My dad died when I was ten, and now my brother and our family just felt so small. Is a tissue cause of death is undetermined. So there's unanswered questions. Still, there always will be.
01:00:36:15 - 01:01:13:14
Kimberley
What I quickly realised, though, was that I was not no longer being triggered by people or comments that would have triggered me in the past. During this process, I remember thinking, and I shared this feeling that if I didn't start the program when I did, which was, you know, my God thinks me, I don't think I would have gotten through my brother's death, I really don't, I think, our relationship was really complex and we were really close at times operated as a carer more than a sister, which had been sort of my role for at least a year or so leading up to his death.
01:01:13:15 - 01:01:42:09
Kimberley
We had shared traumas together and the feelings were intense. And I mentally I don't know how I would have gone had I not come so far in my healing before that happened. But here I was, and I was still standing, and I was still putting one foot in front of the other and incredibly and, you know, God did this for me.
01:01:42:10 - 01:02:10:04
Kimberley
I was positioned to continue to heal through the program despite this huge tragedy for me. So, you know, I get my point. But we still in December, I discovered that guilt had been a default emotion since forever. I subconsciously interpreted a story I'd been told regarding my my birth, my existence, as if I should feel guilty about being alive and I did time on therapy with you fully.
01:02:10:06 - 01:02:32:01
Kimberley
I mean, broke off guilt as a default and I rarely feel guilt anymore. So cool. We really don't. It's actually interesting sometimes, something will happen. I don't. I don't wait to see if the guilt comes, but I'm curious to see if the guilt will show up and it just doesn't. Yeah.
01:02:32:05 - 01:02:34:09
Filly
That's huge.
01:02:34:11 - 01:02:58:05
Kimberley
In January I realised also that I was operating out of an unreasonable amount of responsibility. I think, after dad died, I was ten. I had a three year old sister. I became overly responsible. I felt like everyone else's well-being and happiness was my responsibility. That it was up to me to always make everything okay for everyone and keep the peace in every situation.
01:02:58:07 - 01:03:26:05
Kimberley
Because I was 100% leaving to being a peacekeeper, it meant I was living like I was walking on eggshells all the time. And this, I think, was the start, if not earlier. Because, I mean, I know this, record about myself would have come from earlier than ten, but I, I wouldn't allow myself to, have my own needs or feelings met.
01:03:26:07 - 01:03:51:01
Kimberley
In fact, I've probably never even consciously stopped to think about what I might need or or feel. So then after, after that, my, the death of my brother made me question my priorities in life and remembering my war, which was because I wanted to leave and not just be alive. And I wanted to enjoy my children before they've grown up.
01:03:51:03 - 01:04:17:12
Kimberley
And I want to show my kids how to live. I started considering making big changes in my life to better live out my and because time passes so quickly and my teenage girls had to say I'm going to be independent, I started really thinking about, what I might change in my life. So while thinking about making big changes, I started having back issues one morning.
01:04:17:15 - 01:04:39:21
Filly
Can I say, can I say when this happened? So I remember we had a book launch party in Brisbane. Yeah, that you came to and you're like, I feel amazing. I love my life. And then that night is like the back, which correlated with the decision to leave work as well. The back was like not safe.
01:04:39:23 - 01:04:50:16
Kimberley
Yeah, yeah. So I was thinking about these choices and I realised I couldn't stand up straight this morning. The morning after your book launch.
01:04:50:18 - 01:04:52:04
Filly
And it was in the book launch.
01:04:52:04 - 01:05:16:03
Kimberley
People with it. Yeah. I was like, where the chairs that, comes in and, I realised I couldn't stand up straight and I could barely move that excruciating pain, like, I really could hardly move. And it turned out that I had a bulging disk and and started causing grief and which I found interesting. I later learned lots people have bulging discs that cause pain.
01:05:16:03 - 01:05:16:23
Filly
Yeah.
01:05:17:01 - 01:05:46:06
Kimberley
Mine decided to stop, was in pain, and then three weeks later, a second bulging disk joined in. So this was the start of six months of back pain disrupting my life. And it really did disrupt my life. My chiropractor actually commented that lower back pain can relate to stability. Okay. And, Louise. Hi, Louise. He says lower back pain is the fear of money or lack of financial support.
01:05:46:09 - 01:05:50:22
Kimberley
Yeah. Which is interesting given the changes I was considering making.
01:05:50:22 - 01:05:58:18
Filly
Because it wasn't it didn't make sense financially. Hey to leave the job, it's just like doesn't make sense. But this is this feels in alignment.
01:05:58:20 - 01:06:18:09
Kimberley
Yeah. Yeah. So then I decided to give up my job after ten years with the company. It was a job that I loved. I really loved my job, and I planned on staying there until I retired. I did to my poor boss years ago. I said, you know, I plan on staying here till I'm an old lady because that was my plan.
01:06:18:11 - 01:06:45:05
Kimberley
He didn't want to work till he was too old. And when he was, like, suddenly not too old, he planned on retiring earlier. And I was honestly very happy there. Yeah. And it was a great job. It was a really hard decision to make, but I also knew it was exactly what I needed to do. So for the first couple of weeks after I left my job, which was in August, I was unwell with a head cold, which wasn't really surprising.
01:06:45:05 - 01:06:50:21
Kimberley
You know, give up work and hit the wall. Well.
01:06:50:23 - 01:07:11:18
Kimberley
Hopefully it will become a surprising thing in the future. Hopefully this isn't something's going to happen, but it was, you know, a pattern that happened. I gave up my job and I became unwell. When I was well, I planned to go out to copy with a couple of friends. We see each other a few times a year, and my husband sent me a text message that morning saying Happy Birthday.
01:07:11:18 - 01:07:28:19
Kimberley
Every new life. He was at the airport waiting to fly out to work, and I got in my car and I drove towards a coffee shop, and it was somewhere I hadn't been before, and the traffic was really heavy and I decided to drive the route I was most familiar with. Even though Siri was trying to tell me to go a different way.
01:07:28:21 - 01:08:01:10
Kimberley
I often don't like to listen to Siri, and this time it wasn't any different. I headed on my way down my brother's road, which would take me to the coffee shop, and a car ran into the back of me, and my car was right in front of my brother's house. Not only did this bring up other issues to work through, but I ended up in this car from this accident, and I think the thing that really has hit me, hit me then, was that life doesn't stop happening.
01:08:01:11 - 01:08:13:16
Kimberley
No matter how far we come in a healing journey. The punches keep on rolling. Yeah. This program has taught me how to handle, differently. Yeah.
01:08:13:18 - 01:08:16:12
Filly
Yeah. Okay.
01:08:16:12 - 01:08:18:09
Kimberley
So,
01:08:18:11 - 01:08:20:06
Filly
Did you want to. Didn't need to.
01:08:20:07 - 01:08:22:09
Kimberley
No. No. Okay.
01:08:22:11 - 01:08:26:11
Chris
Just one second.
01:08:26:13 - 01:08:38:13
Chris
So I'm just going to edit this part out. I have to get going. So I'm just going to love you and leave you. Thank you so much for adding. Yeah. I've got to jump out, but,
01:08:38:15 - 01:08:39:20
Filly
Do you want to take this now?
01:08:40:00 - 01:08:45:04
Chris
It'll be easier if I just keep this. Thanks. Kim. That was amazing.
01:08:45:05 - 01:08:46:21
Kimberley
Thank you. Thank you.
01:08:47:03 - 01:08:50:14
Chris
I'll hand it over to Filly. You'll wrap it up and everything like that? Yeah.
01:08:50:16 - 01:08:51:10
Filly
Yeah. That's fine.
01:08:51:13 - 01:09:01:16
Chris
Thank you. You're amazing. I have written so many awesome notes. You're the best in the whole world. All right. Thanks. I'll see you soon.
01:09:01:18 - 01:09:03:01
Kimberley
Okay. Oh, yeah.
01:09:03:02 - 01:09:03:18
Filly
Yeah. Sorry.
01:09:03:18 - 01:09:04:11
Chris
I'll just take.
01:09:04:15 - 01:09:05:13
Filly
Just a second.
01:09:05:13 - 01:09:06:20
Chris
What? You just got.
01:09:06:22 - 01:09:07:13
Filly
Once it's close.
01:09:07:13 - 01:09:08:20
Chris
And then close it out.
01:09:08:22 - 01:09:10:23
Filly
Maybe have a drink.
01:09:11:01 - 01:09:18:22
Kimberley
Okay. Yeah.
01:09:19:00 - 01:09:29:12
Chris
I'll try. Yeah. You're going to have to pop these things in order.
01:09:29:13 - 01:09:41:04
Kimberley
Yeah. Especially this one. Like, this is where the help from.
01:09:41:06 - 01:09:48:12
Chris
Zero four. Yeah. You got to stop it. Yeah, I'm doing it.
01:09:48:13 - 01:09:52:13
Kimberley
01:09:52:15 - 01:09:59:14
Chris
I got.
01:09:59:16 - 01:10:07:13
Filly
Are you okay? Time was. Yeah, yeah. Awesome. I'm good too. I've got like. Yeah. Okay, great. Another 20 minutes is fine.
01:10:07:15 - 01:10:11:08
Kimberley
And then, Chris is gone.
01:10:11:08 - 01:10:21:04
Filly
I don't even say anything because it's like, okay, now this is good. So I'm just going to write so we know when to edit it out.
01:10:21:05 - 01:10:25:00
Kimberley
Okay. All right.
01:10:25:02 - 01:10:52:22
Filly
Okay. Sorry. Car accident, bulging disk in pain. You're also in a lot of pain medication and like got was flaring off and stuff as well. So then in our program in the ending what even out method. Not all clients do it but some people choose to do it. So there's, trauma therapy, courts, happy trauma therapy that I'm certified in I love it.
01:10:53:00 - 01:11:23:01
Filly
It's amazing. It goes like even deeper into the healing process, especially for people who have had past traumas, whether it's big or little, it doesn't really matter. But sometimes there are things that like deeper and need more excavation to uncover and come out. So you you chose to do that and and like, I think that it would be good to hear it in terms of the listeners hearing, why you felt like you needed to go another layer deeper.
01:11:23:03 - 01:11:27:15
Filly
And also the challenge of like saying yes to that as well.
01:11:27:17 - 01:11:53:09
Kimberley
Yeah, yeah. So one day I was driving along in pain and I've been in pain a lot. Last year, my migraines had started sort of flaring up as well. And I've had the back pain in the neck pain from the accident, and I was getting low on my painkillers and I thought, I need to make a doctor's appointment, not some more, pain medication and.
01:11:53:11 - 01:12:16:11
Kimberley
I felt pain was no longer my norm, and it was certainly not something I wanted to be my no. And then I needed to go deeper somehow. But I wasn't exactly sure sort of why, but I knew it was a flag. It was a red flag that I needed to go deeper. The same afternoon, I'd been thinking that I needed to contact the doctor and make an appointment for more pain meds.
01:12:16:13 - 01:12:18:07
Kimberley
Coincidentally.
01:12:18:09 - 01:12:21:15
Filly
And as it happens, the podcast.
01:12:21:17 - 01:12:43:05
Kimberley
Yeah. There. Really? You release your podcast with Judith, Judith Richards about your art therapy, and I listen to the podcast, and I really felt I needed to do it. And I knew I knew about it because she'd mentioned it before, but I hadn't really thought too much about it because I didn't think it was something that I needed until now.
01:12:43:05 - 01:12:50:14
Filly
Yeah. Which you'd had, you'd got you'd received a lot of and created a lot of great results for you. And then.
01:12:50:16 - 01:12:52:13
Kimberley
Suddenly and then the.
01:12:52:15 - 01:13:01:02
Filly
Passing and, you know, the back stuff continues like, yeah, yeah, I think there was a part where you've kind of felt a bit stuck in where to go from here. Yes. Yeah.
01:13:01:04 - 01:13:19:21
Kimberley
Yes. And I won't lie, it's not something we could really afford. I had given up my job and money was tight and, my car had just been written off, and we hadn't yet come up with a solution for my new car. And I was about to get a payout from the insurance. But it wasn't going to be much.
01:13:19:21 - 01:13:32:21
Kimberley
It was going to be enough for a car. And after discussing it with my husband, though, we agreed that I would use some of that money to do the t itp therapy. We just felt that I had to do it and I told you, feeling that I was worried about the cost and whether it would be worth it.
01:13:32:21 - 01:13:52:16
Kimberley
And then I had really big expectations, which was largely the custom of laying out this money that I didn't really have. Yeah, to do the program. And so the T outpaced and over the three sessions, let's just say after the session, I told you fully that the program was worth the money.
01:13:52:17 - 01:13:58:00
Filly
And it also solved a lot of money issues. Still, like money worries.
01:13:58:01 - 01:14:16:06
Kimberley
Yeah. I mean, so probably the best way that I could describe to you actually pay, because I've tried to tell a couple of people that it and, you know, I was talking to my husband about it is it's kind of like a guided choose your own adventure. Yeah. Where you're the main character. And it was just phenomenal.
01:14:16:08 - 01:14:42:04
Kimberley
My last self increased tenfold. I was able to actually, through traumatic events from my past that are actually, really, truly dealt with now. I was it was able to help me, help then uni move forward leaving always behind. But not the old me behind. Yeah. You know, like, I really, I still have every part of me.
01:14:42:06 - 01:15:04:17
Kimberley
I was able to work through grief caused by the loss of my brother and to heal my heart a little more. And, I'm not the same person I was before doing PT, but I'm just not. I feel like I'm the closest I have ever been in my adult life to the me who I was born to be before life and life, events altered my being.
01:15:04:19 - 01:15:16:12
Kimberley
Yeah, I, I really believe now that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I feel like my soul has been restored through the t ATP.
01:15:16:14 - 01:15:35:06
Filly
So beautiful. I remember one of the things. So at the start, it's like, what? What do you want? I mean, these are the questions we ask right at the start of ending burnout method program as well. But before we did the first session for TTP, like happy, I want to like I want to be happy. Like I am happy.
01:15:35:08 - 01:15:53:00
Filly
The way that you were describing is like like I am like my my life is good. I'm. I'm happy. But I think I can be even more happier. And then afterwards it's like, this is what happiness feels like. Yeah. It's like I'm happy. Like I'm genuinely happy.
01:15:53:02 - 01:16:11:16
Kimberley
Yeah. And I think it for me it was really like stripping away all the filth and pain and stuff of life and being me, is what has made me happy. Just being who I was designed to be.
01:16:11:16 - 01:16:17:12
Filly
Yeah. Grounding into who you already are. You just had to let go of some layers first.
01:16:17:14 - 01:16:18:07
Kimberley
Yeah.
01:16:18:08 - 01:16:43:09
Filly
Yeah. Something that was interesting to me that you said, because part of that process, we do go back into the past and reimagine the endings of past events. But afterwards, you like, like, I can't even remember bad memories anymore. Well, I can you know, bad memories would come to the surface, but that it's like, they, like, completely reprogrammed.
01:16:43:09 - 01:16:43:14
Kimberley
Yeah.
01:16:43:15 - 01:16:47:00
Filly
Like, I actually just see the good things in those memories.
01:16:47:02 - 01:17:08:01
Kimberley
Yes, yes. Yeah. Because something you would say during the, the program was, you know, it's over now. And so I would have these memories, in particular, surrounding my brother's death and things would come, like, try to come to the surface. I mean, if I really wanted to dig deep, I could find it. But I would just have this this little voice of.
01:17:08:01 - 01:17:14:11
Kimberley
It's over now, and I could just be really at peace with that and just be like, yeah, it's over now. And not have to think, though.
01:17:14:11 - 01:17:18:21
Filly
So yeah, it's over and you're safe now. Yeah, yeah.
01:17:18:23 - 01:17:20:05
Kimberley
Yeah.
01:17:20:07 - 01:17:43:01
Filly
Okay. This has been amazing and I'm so grateful for you sharing so honestly and generously. And I think in detail is really good too, because sometimes people can be like, I got great results and this is, this is how I was and this is how it happened. But when you can go a bit more granular, it's and also that it's that it's not often like this linear.
01:17:43:05 - 01:18:04:15
Filly
You start here and you get the results like life is happening and life is unfolding, and then it's who you are and who you're becoming and how you're responding to those and creating the tools and resources inside of you and knowing who you are is then what sets you up for long term health and wellness? And essentially you are your own self-healing self, right?
01:18:04:15 - 01:18:06:07
Filly
You lighter?
01:18:06:09 - 01:18:08:08
Kimberley
Yeah, I love it.
01:18:08:10 - 01:18:28:12
Filly
Okay, two more questions. What was what was different about our ending body burn out method? Because when you, when you started with us and you sent through all your paperwork and your health history, like if I printed all those documents out, it probably would have been, you know, like a book size. So you tried a lot before.
01:18:28:14 - 01:18:33:10
Filly
What what do you feel was different with our method?
01:18:33:12 - 01:18:59:17
Kimberley
So I think to start with accepting me. Exactly. The program accepts you or me, exactly who I am and where I'm at. So, and then in a way, the responsibility of my healing was put back onto me. So it was a little confronting at first to be asked, in the program, how is your being unwell serving you?
01:18:59:23 - 01:19:05:05
Kimberley
You know, what's what's the pain? How's it going? You how is the illness serving you?
01:19:05:05 - 01:19:08:07
Filly
How is it a benefit? How is it paying? What's the payoff?
01:19:08:12 - 01:19:40:22
Kimberley
Yeah. That in a way we have choices about how we feel. But I learnt to be able to recognise when my body was really trying to speak to me in love by sending me painful illness signals. So it probably, like this, the anybody burn out method. Taught me to, I guess read my body differently and not not, being too upset.
01:19:41:00 - 01:20:03:19
Kimberley
My symptoms, you know, to to actually take them as being helpful and, and digging deep into them rather than just trying to put a bandaid on, just trying to get rid of the symptom. Yeah. Full stop. Also that there's no set timeline. I was really thrilled that things moved really quickly for me in the beginning, and I thought that I'd be done and dusted in no time.
01:20:03:21 - 01:20:25:01
Kimberley
When, how quickly things were working and how deeply things were working for me. But then I had other ideas. And that's been okay. Yeah. Like, here I am, like, it's 12 months later. And to be honest, like this last year, we haven't done a lot of physical healing work. Like a lot of what we've been doing has been the metaphysical.
01:20:25:03 - 01:20:53:07
Kimberley
I mean, I've come so far in leaps and bounds because I have, been learning to be and learning to be me and also just, Yeah, I just dealing with things where I'm at that time rather than trying to stick a timeline on it, which I think has, has actually meant it stock has actually. Yeah. The work has really worked.
01:20:53:09 - 01:20:53:16
Kimberley
Yeah.
01:20:53:17 - 01:21:13:18
Filly
Well, I think that's an interesting point, too. Now, there's a gift in, in that you got some really beautiful miracle results in like a very short period of time at the start because then that's like, wow, this, this works. And I am powerful and I can can create this, and I have responsibility and I like I'm all all powerful.
01:21:13:18 - 01:21:37:06
Filly
I can heal. So that's kind of good too, as a gift where it's like, oh, okay. Well, you know, when things pop up, I can do this again. And I can go deeper as and when needed, and I can heal myself, and I can reset. But then also the macro lens of healing is that it's, it's it's like it's going to be up and down depending on what's happening with life.
01:21:37:08 - 01:21:59:10
Filly
And it's the maturing into that as well. And there like I, I've seen it for myself that there does come a time where your body no longer needs to send you pain signals. It's like it's like the earliest signals would be, oh, I'm feeling a bit out of alignment or I'm feeling a little bit, maybe like a tad anxious or, oh, a little old patterns popping up again.
01:21:59:10 - 01:22:27:13
Filly
Or maybe they might be like this. Subtle signs of an old physical symptom. But that's the maturing into the process and connecting with yourself and constantly having a relationship with yourself that you understand when you need to change something or have a conversational, an apology or whatever it is. So I think you're a beautiful, living testament of doing the work and not just in a quick fix way where it's like, did it cost me two months?
01:22:27:13 - 01:22:32:10
Filly
Yeah. I'm better. It's like, oh, I bet it didn't work because things have come back.
01:22:32:12 - 01:22:35:01
Kimberley
Yes. Yeah, yeah yeah.
01:22:35:03 - 01:23:06:05
Filly
So good. Okay. Last question. Because you, someone who I think just has so much wisdom and you've really like, you've really gone deep into the process and the method and, like, embodying and integrating everything that we teach. So if someone is out there and they're stuck in the cycle of body burnout, maybe they've tried a bunch of stuff, or maybe they haven't, but they just don't know if it's possible for them.
01:23:06:07 - 01:23:10:11
Filly
What what are some words of heart that you could share with them?
01:23:10:13 - 01:23:34:08
Kimberley
Yeah, well, I would say to start with that. Where there's life, there is hope. I really believe that, I have literally we have literally spent six figures on my health over, you know, two years. And I understand financial stress related to health, understand finding the energy to try something new can be almost impossible to master at times.
01:23:34:10 - 01:23:55:10
Kimberley
But I would say this is the best money I've spent in a long time and the best use of my time. The changes that I'm experiencing are incredible. And and, you know, like if we look at the list of health issues I had, you know, in the previous 20 years, I do not expect this next 20 years to have much on the list at all.
01:23:55:10 - 01:24:18:09
Kimberley
Yeah. Which is, you know, amazing. Yeah. As I said before, I'm a Christian and I very much believe there's been a spiritual element to my change, too. I had the lyrics to the song a few days ago. I hadn't heard the song before. And speaking of God saying that he sees you and he's healing every life you believe.
01:24:18:11 - 01:24:41:23
Kimberley
And knowing that I had this podcast coming up and sharing the changes I've experienced, the words really struck a chord. I think for many when we go searching for healing, we don't go looking to heal the lies that we believe. But I found that through the ending Bonnie Bennett method, that's exactly where we should be looking. That, you know, what lies do we need to uncover and heal from?
01:24:42:01 - 01:24:44:14
Kimberley
Yeah. Sorry. Beautiful.
01:24:44:16 - 01:24:49:03
Filly
So beautiful. And then the truth is found.
01:24:49:05 - 01:24:50:05
Kimberley
Yeah. Yes.
01:24:50:05 - 01:24:54:15
Filly
That is. That's just the natural consequence. Amen to that. She's dead.
01:24:54:17 - 01:24:56:17
Kimberley
Yep, yep.
01:24:56:19 - 01:25:04:11
Filly
Thank you so much. I've got goosebumps many times during that conversation, and I just. I love you.
01:25:04:12 - 01:25:09:01
Kimberley
And it is it is really. It's been a thank you.
01:25:09:02 - 01:25:21:18
Filly
Beautiful. Yeah. We're so privileged to be that you were led to us and that we've been able to be part of this chapter of your journey. So thank you so much for sharing it with everyone today.
01:25:21:20 - 01:25:27:02
Kimberley
Oh, thank you for giving me the chance to.
01:25:27:04 - 01:25:37:06
Filly
Thank you so much for listening. We so appreciate you. If you'd like to give us extra smiles, drop us a review and spread the love by sharing this episode.
01:25:37:08 - 01:25:55:15
Chris
You can also write your own state of burnout and the root cause contributors by taking our Ending Body Burnout assessment on our website. And if you're interested in learning about our group or one on one ending body burnout programs, shoot us a DM via Instagram or Facebook. Hey, have the best day ever!
